Hey brothers,
Just turned 37 and starting to go on a lot of dates lately. Wanted to lay out some of my sticking points to maybe make myself more aware of them and try to eradicate them as quickly as possible. I welcome any advice.
1. I tend to be way too much of a nice guy with women. This tends to be engrained in my DNA. Even though Im cognizant of it, I still find myself doing it. I do things I shouldn't. I get in a pathetic mindset, where I start falling for the girl half way through the first date. I put the girl on a pedestal. I play it too safe in what I say and do. I'm too stifled.
2. I delve into deeper, more intellectual conversation and am too serious at times. This is how I like to talk with other men (and women), but I'm not sure it serves me well.
3. I try to pretend as if I'm not that sexual. This again is ingrained in my I think from my Catholic upbringing. So I fail to escalate or when I do escalate, I do it awkwardly sometimes. I think I have a fear of being considered the 'bad guy'. It seems like I want to be the safe guy, the good guy.
4. I poorly lead at times. I have a bad habit of initially leading, then turning over the reins to the woman. I.E when to end the date, where to grab a beer/food, what to do. I know better and need to start acting like it.
5. I wait too long to escalate/ kiss. Sometimes the date is going obviously well..her touching me, good eye contact, and yet I wait until the end of the date to kiss/escalate. Seems it would be better to escalate earlier on. I get a bit nervous when at the end of the date, I have to go in for the kiss.
6. I give away frame.
7. I sometimes lack confidence/self belief. This might be the biggest one. I really don't think this one makes logical sense. I do have some insecurities, but overall, I objectively have a lot going for me. Excellent income, outstanding shape, athletic, adventurous, financially secure. Probably slightly above average in looks.
8. I have a challenge now with premature ejaculation! Haha, this sucks. I have to sort this **** out asap. This topic may need to be its own thread, but if there are any ideas to overcome this, Im all ears.
9. I act too thirsty at times. Obviously not a good look. Im in a dry spell, so I need to create some kind of abundance in my focused interests/other woman to stave this off.
Just turned 37 and starting to go on a lot of dates lately. Wanted to lay out some of my sticking points to maybe make myself more aware of them and try to eradicate them as quickly as possible. I welcome any advice.
1. I tend to be way too much of a nice guy with women. This tends to be engrained in my DNA. Even though Im cognizant of it, I still find myself doing it. I do things I shouldn't. I get in a pathetic mindset, where I start falling for the girl half way through the first date. I put the girl on a pedestal. I play it too safe in what I say and do. I'm too stifled.
2. I delve into deeper, more intellectual conversation and am too serious at times. This is how I like to talk with other men (and women), but I'm not sure it serves me well.
3. I try to pretend as if I'm not that sexual. This again is ingrained in my I think from my Catholic upbringing. So I fail to escalate or when I do escalate, I do it awkwardly sometimes. I think I have a fear of being considered the 'bad guy'. It seems like I want to be the safe guy, the good guy.
4. I poorly lead at times. I have a bad habit of initially leading, then turning over the reins to the woman. I.E when to end the date, where to grab a beer/food, what to do. I know better and need to start acting like it.
5. I wait too long to escalate/ kiss. Sometimes the date is going obviously well..her touching me, good eye contact, and yet I wait until the end of the date to kiss/escalate. Seems it would be better to escalate earlier on. I get a bit nervous when at the end of the date, I have to go in for the kiss.
6. I give away frame.
7. I sometimes lack confidence/self belief. This might be the biggest one. I really don't think this one makes logical sense. I do have some insecurities, but overall, I objectively have a lot going for me. Excellent income, outstanding shape, athletic, adventurous, financially secure. Probably slightly above average in looks.
8. I have a challenge now with premature ejaculation! Haha, this sucks. I have to sort this **** out asap. This topic may need to be its own thread, but if there are any ideas to overcome this, Im all ears.
9. I act too thirsty at times. Obviously not a good look. Im in a dry spell, so I need to create some kind of abundance in my focused interests/other woman to stave this off.