My greatest downfall

[mazda]

Alright fellos this I believe is my greatest downfall I'm above average looking guy I talk to girls, flirt with them but I would say 80% of the time I'am out in general I always think what people are thinking about me I mean the way I blink my eyes, the way my pants look, the way my hair is comb I mean wtf? every thing that I do I feel like I have to meet someone's expectation I just hate it I don't believe I have low self esteem, I have a lot of friends I just don't understand all of this why do I care what people think about me again I'm not ugly but this is just the way my braing thinks I look in the mirrors in my house and I feel good but when I'm in somebody else's house I look ugly I need to change this and I know this is all in the head just don't want to spend thousand of dollars doing it. Is there like any exercise or ways to get rid of this anxiety. I was looking around the forum and I think the closest to my problems is social anxiety I want to get rid of this no matter what I just don't know how

 

[thefonz]

meditate

 

[jean laurent]

Mazda, I can relate to that. I used to feel that way a lot. You're certainly not alone, I'd say most guys feel that way at least in some situations. For me, it's now only when I'm around 9+s that I'll start feeling self-conscious, but it's really only a "mild nervousness" rather than anything debilitating.

Personally, I do believe it's a self-esteem related issue, so things that you can do to improve your self-esteem will quite likely have a carryover effect into lessening the anxiety you feel.

Anyway, probably start by realizing that no one really cares what you look like etc. What everyone is busy "thinking" about is their own problems, not about you; the "expectations" you're thinking other people have are mostly in your head -- people aren't really expecting anything from you. Look around, I'm sure you'll see people everywhere who don't meet your "expectations" (and who you think wouldn't meet other people's either), but that doesn't really stop you dealing with them does it? In any case, failing to meet "expectations" is a very minor thing indeed. So what if you don't? Really, does it make any significant difference? And you can never know (be certain) that you do anyway, so why waste time worrying about it? Just assume that you do and focus on more important things.

 

[DeathDealer]

well dude, you really can't change yourself physically or mentally to think more "positive" about yourself. but you can do one thing : don't give a sh1t what other people think.

or you can end up like michael jackson, now go look for some michael jackson pics to realize you're normal just like everyone else.