My Girlfriend's ashamed of me?

[RaraAvis]

Ok, I'll try to make this "oh god please help me, I don't know what to do" post as quick as possible.

Basically my girlfriend says she hates public affection, which means everytime I do something affectionate to her in public (especially school) she doesn't respond well, even something simple as hugging. I've probably hugged her say 10 times in public and out of all that she's only hugged me back once.

But what remains strange is when we are in private, such as the movie cinema. I can sit with her and cuddle up and she even goes so far as to start up kissing sessions. However as soon as the movie ends and the lights come back on, she's off me and we're sitting apart again.

So, basically what is this?
Is she ashamed of me?

Because I can tell you this isn't doing wonders for my self confidence. I'm considering confronting her with it the next time I see her, depending on your guys replies.

Thanks a lot in advance and for your time everyone.

-Rara Avis

 

[oakraiderz2]

Its real phucked up figuring that she wont even hug you, which makes no sense at all. I mean people who arent goin out hug and its no deal.

 

[RaraAvis]

That's my damn point, it had me so ****ing upset last night because I go around hugging all these girl friends I have, and no one looks twice.

It really pisses me off that the one girl that matters wont hug me... I think I'm just going to start the inevitable fight about it with her and try to explain to her.. *sigh*

 

[nan3109]

dump her

 

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

Dude relax, I've seen it before and I'll see it again. This chick is basically just unconfident. Lots of chicks are like this, and her making you unconfident is not helping the situation one bit. You are the man. Man protect woman. Woman feel safe. Just lead her with confidence, and if she doesn't respond to this then it seriously is time to dump her, because her emotional problems will go well beyond what we can help with

 

[RaraAvis]

nan3109:

I've been going out with this girl for AGES now, I'm not going to dump her just like that without at least giving things a chance first, its just this that gets to me about her, everything else is fine.

Ronny:

So your suggesting I act confident around her to the best of my ability and see if she responds by getting more confident herself?

And do you think I should talk to her about it, or just work on it by myself?

I actually remember now that a while I go I went to hug her and she said "not now, tomorrow" (we were going to movies tmr) and I said "I don't care" and hugged her anyway. Even though she still had her arms crossed, I believe she responded well to this. Is this the sort of actions you mean?

Thanks guys, been a good help so far... I'm feeling better

 

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

No I'm not saying you ACT confident arounf her, but just generally BE confident around her. Don't be over-confident or ****y, just be her protector(I know this might sound AFC but this is what this girl needs).

However like I said, if she still acts this way then dumo her, because she probably isn't worth all this emotional hassle

 

[RaraAvis]

Yeah I realise its a man job to protect the girl and they enjoy it, and believe me I want to. But how in an everyday school life can you present protecting qualities? I mean I can protect her when someone insults her, I see that but what else unless she gets into a massive ***** fight.

At which point I'd be too busy throwing in mud and selling tickets ^_^

 

[Stratocaster]

Look at it this way, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Its all a problem that she has inside. Its all a phsycological thing for her. Don't worry bout it man, my girl is kind of like it too.

 

[Eventide]

Just chill out, some people just don't like public affection. I don't like it, I don't want everyone looking at me while I'm kissing my girl. Its just a personal thing.

However, if she is only like this with you, and not other guys she has dated, then you have a problem.

 

[Evil-Rom]

Maybe she's shy.

(Captian Obvious flies by.)

 

[RaraAvis]

Thanks for your "relax dude" posts its made me not worry so much, but I still have one final question (sorry to be a pain).

Is there anyway to make her more secure/confident/unshy?

I'll definately give the confidence thing a whirl, thanks Ronny, but any final tips'd be appreciated.

Thanks again guys, dunno what I'd do without ya

 

[Sax God]

Try bringing it up with her. If nothing comes of that, then dump her. You said yourself that you've been going out forever, so she should feel comfortable enough to hug you, if not, there's really no point in having the relationship.

 

[DJ Fedorov]

I can understand that some girls don't like to kiss in public but hugging seems pretty innocent, it's kind of stupid that she has a problem with that. I mean I hug girls who I'm not even close with at all and it's no big deal. Weird

 

[mr.buick]

If your girlfriend is ashamed of you and unappreciative,..........GET RID OF HER ASAP. Be a man and dump her TODAY!!!!
John

 

[Smooth as Anything]

I am going to have to say lack of confidence. She know's you find her attractive, but she thinks other people looking around will say "eww... public display of affection I didnt want to see!".