My girlfriend is going to her ex's grandma's funeral...

[P_Dawg_Jalapeno]

...or at least she thinks she should, and I don't entirely disagree. It still makes me uncomfortable as hell though, however she doesn't know this.


A little background info:

We're both in our mid-twenties.
We've been dating for 10 months, more or less, problem free.
We've been out of town several times together, sans kids.
I have a 4 year old daughter; she has a 7 year old son.
We spend most nights together (and have sex almost all of these nights).
The ex in question is her baby daddy and the guy who took her virginity.
They dated on and off for 7 years.
They haven't been together for several years.
They are not friends and they see each other only pick up/drop off their kid.


Last summer her grandma died (she was devistated) and even though they weren't dating he attended her funeral so she says she feels bad for him and thinks it's only right that she attend his grandma's wake. I don't disagree but it makes me so damn uncomfortable... I guess because I'm paranoid by nature and have been burned before.

I have this scenario playing out in my head about a newfound commonality between the two of them and the intense emotionality of the situation possibly bringing them back together again. Females are emotional creatures. But I can't just tell her not to go... ugh.

She's never given me a reason to think she's cheated so maybe this is just some paranoid bull****, but she is female, and by default can't be trusted entirely (at least by me).

I guess, my question is, how should I deal with this situation?

 

[Tiguere]

A funeral is one hour at the most. Stop the insecurity nonsense.

 

[terran2k]

you cannot be afraid to lose anyone, it'll make you do some stupid sh!t. It's soo much easier to say than do, I know. You'll have to find your way to make it happen.

 

[jonwon]

...or at least she thinks she should, and I don't entirely disagree. It still makes me uncomfortable as hell though, however she doesn't know this.


A little background info:

We're both in our mid-twenties.
We've been dating for 10 months, more or less, problem free.
We've been out of town several times together, sans kids.
I have a 4 year old daughter; she has a 7 year old son.
We spend most nights together (and have sex almost all of these nights).
The ex in question is her baby daddy and the guy who took her virginity.
They dated on and off for 7 years.
They haven't been together for several years.
They are not friends and they see each other only pick up/drop off their kid.


Last summer her grandma died (she was devistated) and even though they weren't dating he attended her funeral so she says she feels bad for him and thinks it's only right that she attend his grandma's wake. I don't disagree but it makes me so damn uncomfortable... I guess because I'm paranoid by nature and have been burned before.

I have this scenario playing out in my head about a newfound commonality between the two of them and the intense emotionality of the situation possibly bringing them back together again. Females are emotional creatures. But I can't just tell her not to go... ugh.

She's never given me a reason to think she's cheated so maybe this is just some paranoid bull****, but she is female, and by default can't be trusted entirely (at least by me).

I guess, my question is, how should I deal with this situation?

There is a thread running almost Parallel to yours, but the message and the problem is totally different.

In the other thread his GF is in contact with the EX who they still have feelings for each other -

Your situation on the other hand, consists of your GF having a connection to her EX Grandma through the birth of a child they had together - Its understandable.

Seriously you need to try to NOT be jealous in the situation, it will lower your GF interest level in you and could push her eventually to go with someone else.

There isn't a problem here, mostly guys think the best reaction is to get defensive and lay down the law - In this situation because on its surface is innocent, would be a very bad move - The alternative view, that sometimes gets passed around on here about encouraging her to go, is the best way to go about this, in this situation.

Support her in this, let her go, don’t ask silly questions when she comes back, don’t talk about her EX.

Even if you don’t feel it, try to act confident, like you’re a guy with options and the type of guy who will act according to the situation, i.e cool in his own skin - unconcerned about things like this, until of-course the situation changes, i.e unless your Girl tells you her and the ex spent the night with her head on his shoulder, then so far you've got nothing to worry about.

It maybe an hour, but sometimes people go to a pub (drinks) - I suggest you go out with your mates and forget about what she maybe up-to - and when she comes back dont grill her or ask any silly questions, just relax, chill and enjoy -

Let's face it, she has been in contact with the Ex for a long time, if she wanted to do something she could have done it along time ago - The relationship she has with him is purely to do with the access to the child, until you know different, chill!

 

[horaholic]

Why dont you go with her?