My girlfriend doesn't like my sister.

[zellim]

I'm a 24 year old male and my younger sister is 13 years old. About three weeks ago, our parents died in a car crash. Needless to say it has since been very rough on both of us.

She is living with me now since we do not have any other family members that she can go to and I am now her legal guardian. I graduated with a degree in accounting 2 years ago and I have a decent paying job and I'm living in an apartment with my girlfriend

However, my girlfriend does not want my sister to be living with us and wants her to go to foster care. I could however never do that to my sister.

On top of that, my sister constantly cries about our parents death and has become depressed. Her grades are slipping in school and has become apathetic to everything. How do I deal with this situation?

 

[Skyline]

I'm a 24 year old male and my younger sister is 13 years old. About three weeks ago, our parents died in a car crash. Needless to say it has since been very rough on both of us.

She is living with me now since we do not have any other family members that she can go to and I am now her legal guardian. I graduated with a degree in accounting 2 years ago and I have a decent paying job and I'm living in an apartment with my girlfriend

However, my girlfriend does not want my sister to be living with us and wants her to go to foster care. I could however never do that to my sister.

On top of that, my sister constantly cries about our parents death and has become depressed. Her grades are slipping in school and has become apathetic to everything. How do I deal with this situation?

Sounds like your girlfriend doesn't know her place.

Plain and simple, tell her that she(girlfriend) matters to you but your little sister is YOUR family. Putting her in foster care is like abandoning her. With that being said, you would be there for her more than anyone else. If she(girlfriend) can't accept that fact, then she(girlfriend) WILL move out and find her own place. The simple task of her(girlfriend) stressing you and her out, especially since a recent decease, is unacceptable on a lot of levels. I would consider dumping her(girlfriend), seems like a major quality/characteristic flaw in my opinion. Or at the very at least down grade to FWB.

Or who knows it could be an elaborate sh*t test. Stand up for you and your sister anyway.

 

[Cremasta]

Firstly, my condolences to you and your sister. I don't want to even try to imagine how it feels. I hope everything starts to look brighter soon.

I can't even begin to express the level of disgust that I have with your gf.
You and your sister have just lost your parents and all she wants to do is break up your family even further because it doesn't suit her lifestyle!?!

You're fairly young yourself, but you're the head of the family now. Your sister is your number one priority now, you need to be a parent and a brother now. It's unfortunate, but those are the cards you've been dealt. Get your sister through the next 5-6 years and she will forever have your back no matter what happens.

I would have kicked out the girlfriend the instant the words "Foster care" came out of her mouth!

 

[djthiago1]

Remember to NEVER marry that woman.

 

[narcissist]

Firstly, i am very sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your loved ones.

Second off, this is an extremely delicate time for you and you sister, but you especially have to be strong through this for your sister as she is young and this will most likely shape the type of person she becomes.

Dont worry about your girlfriend right now, you HAVE to be there for your sister. If you girlfriend doesnt like it then shes a b!tch anyways with no heart, and i would throw her to the curb and strictly look after your sister and make sure she handles this well, so it doesnt negatively affect her psychological wellbeing

honestly, even if your girlfriend was a saint, i would take a break from her and attend to your sister. FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING.

once again my condolences. feel free to personal message me if you want some friendly advice. Your sister's wellbeing is the MOST important thing right now, as she is too young to take care of herself. if she is neglected she can be psychologically hurt forever. This is your time to shine as a brother, and instill positivity in her man.

read some books on how to deal with death in the family, and the best ways to guide a child out of the rough times and become stronger.

 

[Valentino14]

How do I deal with this situation?

This shouldn't be a difficult decision at all. Keep your sister with you at your place and be there for her. If your girlfriend doesn't like it tell her to hit the road. I would show her the door myself for being insensitive b1tch.

Or at the very at least down grade to FWB.

Or who knows it could be an elaborate sh*t test.

He should dump instead of downgrading and nobody gives a sh*t test over something like this. Don't be ingnorant on that.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Girlfriends come and go. Your sister will always be your sister.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Women......I swear. Then they try and take you away from friends you grew up with. And with BETA males they usually succeed

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Get rid of this woman.. she is bad news. red flag alert!

 

[Desdinova]

If this woman was actually a GOOD woman, she would be supportive during such a difficult time, which she is NOT.

Challenges in life can really put your relationship to the test, and it can reveal the true colors of your significant other. So if her parents died in a car crash and she had a sibling who needed a home, would you be willing to help them out?

It really sounds like she's lacking genuine concern and human decency. She should be the one getting kicked to the curb because she's likely old enough to survive on her own while a 13 year old cannot.

Put your foot down, tell her that your sister is staying and if she doesn't like it, show her the door. There are plenty of other women out there, many of them compassionate when it comes to caring for other humans. You can find a better quality woman once things in your life calm down from facing such a tragic experience.

 

[papawapa]

If I were in your shoes the first thing I would do is sit your gf down and lay it down for her. Give her two choices. Either she packs her stuff and leaves immediately or she agrees to never speak negatively about your sister again and make it clear that if she does you will pack her stuff for her. With that said, if your gf has said anything in front of or to your sister then I would skip the ultimatum and just pack her up and send her on her way. Your family comes first, always. Your sister has to know that she comes first for you.

Second thing I would do is get your sister into therapy. Making sure she comes through this in the best possible light is beyond your ability.

 

[:-)]

This is indeed a tragic tale. But 3 weeks isn't nearly enough time to judge whether or not a pupil's grades are slipping.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I was thinking the same thing... How could her grades be judged to be slipping after only three weeks?

The problem the girlfriend has is that she had an entire life & future mapped out in her head, and the sudden turn of events has completely uprooted that. She knows that life is going to completely change, as well as her relationship with the OP. No matter what the cause, the fact is that she didn't sign up for this fundamental change in their situation. This is an apartment (tight living quarters), not a house.

We don't know how the discussion actually went, what was actually said, and it could also be that this is all new to the girlfriend and she's trying to sort it out. Remember, women have to verbalize in order to work things out, and sometime they will verbalize the stupidest options before realizing those options are inappropriate or not viable.

Perhaps she will come to terms with the living situation, but I suspect that she will not be able to adjust and will have to move out. I support that because I see no good whatsoever in an unmarried couple living together.

 

[backseatjuan]

Show your girlfriend the door. Plain and simple. You are now your sister's parent.

 

[Syrio]

In my opinion, at this point in time your girlfriend's desire for your sister to live somewhere else shouldn't even be a factor. Your sister is 13, which is already a rough age for girls emotionally. Adding the death of you guys' parents on top of that explains the slipping grades and tough times she is probably having. Moving to a foster home would just make this much worse. She is family and your girlfriend is not. I think that you shouldn't even concern yourself with what your girlfriend wants in this situation. It's extremely unfair of her to ask that your sister live in a foster home.

EDIT: Also for the record, you can absolutely tell if someone's grades are slipping in three weeks... that is way more than enough time.

 

[MM92]

Why are you even asking? Your girlfriend needs to go right now. Is she really the type of person you want to be the mother of your children in the future?! She doesn't even seem like the type of person that's worth making your girlfriend.

 

[:-)]

In my opinion, at this point in time your girlfriend's desire for your sister to live somewhere else shouldn't even be a factor. Your sister is 13, which is already a rough age for girls emotionally. Adding the death of you guys' parents on top of that explains the slipping grades and tough times she is probably having. Moving to a foster home would just make this much worse. She is family and your girlfriend is not. I think that you shouldn't even concern yourself with what your girlfriend wants in this situation. It's extremely unfair of her to ask that your sister live in a foster home.

EDIT: Also for the record, you can absolutely tell if someone's grades are slipping in three weeks... that is way more than enough time.

the only way to tell over here in the Uk is by examinations. we don't have them every three weeks. more like every 3 months.