"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My girlfriend asked me this..

2weeks

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My girlfriend asked me whether am I gay or bisexual on the
phone. Man, what the hell! Just because i started hanging out
alot with one of my homeboy doesn't mean that I'm gay.

I hang out more often with my homeboy because we started
to go gym.

And few days ago i've talk to her about meeting only
few times a week cause i got alot of things in my life that
i need to do. I've been seeing her like almost everyday
for the past week.

How the hell should i react ??
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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00Kevin

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ask her if she likes it up the ass and in the ***** at the same time. perhaps she just wants to be double teamed. lol
 

The Business Man

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How long have you had this girlfriend? Any "girlfriend" that would ask if you are gay is a b'itch. Anyway, whatever you do, DO NOT start giving in to her nonsense (ie. are you gay, you should spend more time with ME not your buddy) just because she is acting b'itchy.

Hang out with your friend as much as you want to, and if she doesn't like it, cut off contact her for a while. It doesn't matter if this is that same old generic answer -- you are a DJ and you will gladly treat her with respect when she gets the f'uck back into reality.
 

Kodiac

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I think she just wants to see you more. She wandering 'why isn't he wanting to see me so much anymore' (he must be gay, why else wouldn't he want to see me everyday!) so she went with a neg hit.

Keep up what you are doing, be a challenge!

Just say yes, u r gay, u r a lesbian and proud of it :D

End of story.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Sexy_Malibu

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Was she serious or was she just ragging on your for spending so much time with that guy? Any girlfriend who actually feels the need to ask her boyfriend if he is gay has some problems right off the bat. If she keeps at it, ask her "why you want to have a threesome with me and so-and-so?" That should shut her up. If it doesn't, then you have to look at that relationship, because if she can't tell you're not gay someone is doing SOMETHING wrong. Find of if it's you or her
 

00Kevin

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well i still think this girl wants it in both holes
 

Reto

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I bet she was pissed you haven't paid her the attention she wants. Like all chicks, she wants to be #1 over and above all your friends.

My girl stopped by the other night a little buzzed and horny. I had burgers on the grill and she wanted to do it right then and there.

I'm like "chill already. Let me finish cooking my burgers". She got pissed and called me a homo. I got pissed and made her go home.
 

dionysius_d

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Its nothing so complex.. just jelousy over you spending more time with your friend.. big deal.

Anyway, i take being called "gay" as a compliment.. i never saw a bad looking gay in my city to be honest.
 

Avsguy01

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Does she give it to you often? If she doesnt maybe thats why you spend more time with your friend. Start banging the hell out of her and she want think twice of it!!! LOL
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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2weeks

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Yesterday was the first time she asked me that .. lol
i told her that i felt insulted.. and later on she
said sorry & told me that she was just joking..
haha..
 

Reto

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Next time look at her and say in a serious tone, "I've been meaning to tell you. You're right. God it feels good to come out of the closet"...

Or, make kick her out of your place.
 

bludb0i

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its all good my girl ask me that to. ive stopped hangin with her as much and been kikin it with my boys and she all ask me do you have something to tell me about you and your friend. i think they are just frustrated that you spend time with your homies too. I wouldn't even think much about it.
 

Broadband

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My girlfriend will call my friend gay or suggest their actions are to ruffle their feather and get them to do what she wants.

One of my friends was deciding to go play basketball or go swimming with us and she says, if you choose sweaty guys over girls in bikinis i'll be more then willing to replace my gay hairdresser for you.

LOL

It worked like a charm
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Luscious

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Originally posted by Reto
I bet she was pissed you haven't paid her the attention she wants. Like all chicks, she wants to be #1 over and above all your friends.

My girl stopped by the other night a little buzzed and horny. I had burgers on the grill and she wanted to do it right then and there.

I'm like "chill already. Let me finish cooking my burgers". She got pissed and called me a homo. I got pissed and made her go home.
One of the funniest things I've read in quite some time. :D
 

tom121

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tell her that you need her hottest looking female friend to have a 3some with you, just to make sure you aren't gay (bonus point for you while proving your point) :D
 

00Kevin

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yeah..

"are you gay?" is womanease for "f-cuk my brains out and prove you're a man."


that girl really cut your member off with that one.
 
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