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my girl tells me she is dying for romance?wtf does she mean?

BobFuest

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hey, I been dating this girl for a really long time. lately she has been telling me she is "dying for romance" and "this is serious".
I have no clue what she means.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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You could either wait and gather a myriad of suggestions from DJs and KBJs on what to do for her romantically in hopes that she would like one of them or you could ask her what kinds of things she would like so that you can get it right the first time. However, she could be one of those women who believe that you should be able to read her mind and be able to figure out the right things to do on your own. All in all, she want you to do something nice and loving for her. It's your call what.
 

amoka

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BobFuest said:
hey, I been dating this girl for a really long time. lately she has been telling me she is "dying for romance" and "this is serious".
I have no clue what she means.
Simple translation: you're don't offering her enough love.
 

( . )( . )

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
You could either wait and gather a myriad of suggestions from DJs and KBJs on what to do for her romantically in hopes that she would like one of them or you could ask her what kinds of things she would like so that you can get it right the first time. .
Ask?...Christ.

How bout the who gives a sh!t option? Let some other bozo worry about feeding her romantic reality.

If anything its ******** for:

" If you dare pander to this latest bullsh!t I'm spewing I'll be sucking your mates d!ck quicker than you can say "Heavens missing an angel". Your job is to take me up the poop NOT listen to this wank, Oh yeah and try acting a bit more scarce for fvcks sake"



"DYING FOR ROMANCE" ...:rolleyes: What a fvckin cornball. Throw a Barbara Cartland book at her and go back to eating your sandwich.
 

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Blusher said:
What a retarded piece of advice...

Boobs man, you have no idea how many guys like you had their girlfriend in my bed once a week and thought they were sooooo cool and tough.
Yeah because we all know "romance" or a lack there of has forced many a b!tch into anothers guys bed Pfffft. Am I meant to buy this?

Wake up to yourself douche and stop watching T.V.
 

( . )( . )

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Blusher said:
Treating her like utter **** will not achieve this nor will a bunch of flowers and candles on the dinner table.
Good advice Sherlock, whats that got to do with anything?

Blusher said:
I don't have a TV
Nice try. "Her core emotional needs" already gave you away.

Blusher said:
"romance" means she wants to swept off her feet by someone (else).
No it doesnt, "romance" is an irrelevant word that has NOTHING to do with gaming, fvcking and KEEPING a chick.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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( . )( . ) said:
Yeah because we all know "romance" or a lack there of has forced many a b!tch into anothers guys bed Pfffft. Am I meant to buy this?
FYI, this thread was not meant for your edification and we all know that it would be an effort in futility to attempt to convince you to consider anything beyond you chosen perception.
 

NewMan

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Bob - I think your need to tell us a little more about your relationship with your girl. The things you do together, that kind of stuff.
 

joekerr31

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"i need romance" and "this is serious" really means...

"i no longer know why im in this relationship" and "if you dont change im ending this"

unless of course you dont pay any attention to her and she truly is starved for attention.

provided you are paying a respectable amount of attention to her, i suggest the following...

go all out and romance the hell out of her one night. Yes, this looks AFC, but it's not. what you're doing with this is taking away all her ammunition so that you can find out what is really going on a few days after.

if its really just about romance and nothing else, then everythign will be fine and you'll know that every couple of months all you need to do is give her a romantic night and that keeps paradise in tact.

now, what is more likely happening though is that she has issues with the relationship that she can't explain in words (even to herself) and in order to resolve the existence of those emotions is dumping them all on the concept that shes not getting enough romance.

if this is correct then on the night of romance she will super happy with you. she needs to react this way in order to prove to herself and you that what she was saying was in fact true.

but 2-5 days later her feelings will return to what they were before, because "romance" wasnt actually the problem. and now that you've addressed the romance problem and she's returned to her previous state, you know you're dealing with a ****ed up situation.

she will then find new things to complain or argue about. or she will accuse you of only having been romantic as a ploy and that it wasnt genuinely from the heart.

at this point the best course of action is to cut loose of her for a while. tell her that you're sorry that you don't have the traits that she's looking for in a man and that you think its best that she see if someone else better suits her needs.

then split. there's a chance you suddenly acting all Alpha will spark her interest levels in you again. if not, who cares, the gas tank was definitely empty anyways then.

life's too short to let some woman twist your balls until you're on your knees, and it sounds like this situation could develop into such a scenario.
 

KarmaSutra

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What she's saying to you is that she's already started to pack her bags. The excuses will start to freefall shortly. Suddenly her "girlfriends" will want to "meet for drinks" and she'll find excuses to be away from you.

You're her friend, albeit a friend who's probably still banging her, but still just a friend. You should be her MAN.



On another note, always count on Mr. Tits to start a flame war!
Cheers my man :cheer:
 

BobFuest

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Blusher said:
Coming from an absolute moron... Oh well, I will live with that.

Anyway, back to the topic, we've had enough of Bob Fuest's pathetic posts for a millenium or two. One thing I do agree upon is that his whole relation**** is going down the drain for so long that I wouldn't see the point in keeping it alive much longer.
I have not posted anything in at least 3 months. you dont even know who I am talking about. I really dont think it is as serious as you guys are making it out to be. Not every single little tiny action means some girl is ready to dump you. jeezus..
 

wayword

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Here's the problem with American girls:

The more you give them, the more they take what they have for granted and want more.

The more you take away, the more they'll appreciate what they had.

The choice is yours...maybe some compromise in between? You need to weigh what you realistically owe her vs make her appreciate what you already give her.

I recently talked with an ex whom I gave everything reasonable to - but she took it for granted and advantage of it. Now, she was reminiscing and really regretting that. Now that it's all gone and she's on her own left to her own choices and devices, she realized what she lost and misses it. But what's done is done. How's that for "romantic?" :flowers:
 

BobFuest

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KarmaSutra said:
What she's saying to you is that she's already started to pack her bags. The excuses will start to freefall shortly. Suddenly her "girlfriends" will want to "meet for drinks" and she'll find excuses to be away from you.

You're her friend, albeit a friend who's probably still banging her, but still just a friend. You should be her MAN.



On another note, always count on Mr. Tits to start a flame war!
Cheers my man :cheer:
jeez can i be the first to say that we have had no problems with our relationship yet and I dont think there are any problems really. This is a girl begging me to move in with her and cant go with out my love and affection. Her IL seems to be rather high.
I guess she going to leave me. what a bummer. i didnt think there was anything wrong or she showed signs of uninterest...
 

Latinoman

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MY EXPERIENCE

This is my very personal opinion based on my experience. This experience is being married for a very long time and managed to keep my then wife in that blitz state for all those years (still is) and I am currently in a LTR and I have been successful too.

There lot of methods that can keep the woman that is in your life (in a committed relationship) in a blitz state for you. Let’s assume that you are relatively compatible in the morals, desire (or lack of) to have sex, morals, religion, goals, economics, etc. (note: you do NOT have to be compatible in your hobbies!)

The Blitz State Theorem by Latinoman

The blitz state comes if you have the ability to satisfy her:

a)physically
b)emotionally
c)psychologically
d)intellectually
e)spiritually (if applicable)

Let me clarify something in here. This is not to be confused as a “man servicing” or “slaving” himself for a woman. This is not to be confused as “Mr. Romantic”. This is not to be confused as a man revolving his life and goals around a woman. Slaving, servicing, and Mr. Romantic are AFC qualities. This is about keeping women satisfy. And keeping a woman satisfied is not an AFC quality. It is in fact a DJ quality. The same way that is a DJ quality to keep your boss or a client satisfied. And satisfaction wear different masks…even the dark one from time to time.

EXAMPLES

I will provide some brief examples as they related to women based on my theory:

a)Physically could be sex. And with sex, I mean love making, phucking, or a combination of both. The “love making” part is “romantic”. Also, physically also includes other elements such as touch, caress, kiss, KINO, etc.

b) Emotionally could be the making her laugh element. Or the putting her in an emotional roller coaster (not to be overdo). Or surprising her with something unexpected to the point that you bring tears of emotion (this part could be the “romantic” part).

c) Psychologically as defined by me in this theorem is more of making her feels safe.

d) Intellectually has to do with her ability to grow intellectually. Maybe introducing her to stuff (that’s why having the same hobbies at the beginning is not a real necessity) or learning new stuff together (e.g. creating new hobbies together). This is the art/music/games/books/etc. stuff.

e) Spiritually is something that is very personal. Some women are very spiritual. Here, you satisfy her by encouraging her to continue developing her spirituality or by not putting hurdles in her spiritual development.

WARNING...overly Romantic = Relationship Suicide

Let me touch on the Romantic issue again. Women SAY they like romanticism. However a man that is utterly romantic is one that eventually gets dumped. You have to bring some elements of romanticism whenever she does not expect it. Nothing wrong with buying flowers to the woman that is your wife or your LTR girlfriend (don’t do that for dates). As long as you don’t over do it! Nothing wrong with massaging your woman. Nothing wrong with you caressing your woman. As long as you also drives her crazy by showing your ability to be desired (perhaps by others?) and your ability to be an arse from time to time.

I apply all those things…but at the same time I have the Bad Boy persona (one that is NOT fake at all).

Once again, this is my theorem as I apply with the women that are committed to me (doesn’t work with FWB, doesn’t work with lovers, in essence is doesn’t work with women that are spinning plates).

In CONCLUSION

And finally...even if you are applying those techniques (some more than others), you will STILL get the "you don't romantisize as much", etc. The only different is that this time YOU KNOW what you are doing...and YOU KNOW that you have NOTHING to worry about. Because this time is simply part of your "emotional roller coaster" plan for her. ;)
 

BobFuest

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***I am going to edit this. I know you guys are trying to help. Right now I am sure your thinking "oh what an afc, hes going to get dumped and then come crying back." I appreciate all your advice but I honestly believe (with no blinders on) that my relationship is in good standing. I am not trying to fool myself or be totally paranoid. its working fine, her IL seems to be at least 80% or higher, and worrying about SOME GIRL dumping me is not going to help. I am going to be who i want to be and do what I want to do and if she wants to walk its her loss not mine. I wont come back crying about it because there is nothing to cry about. I am a great catch, i can always get another girl and I meet at least 2 girls a week who would kill to be in my girl's place. Yea its a bummer but no matter what you do sometimes you lose.

Latinoman said:
MY EXPERIENCE

The Blitz State Theorem by Latinoman

The blitz state comes if you have the ability to satisfy her:

a)physically
--I provide great sex and tons of action dates
b)emotionally
--I make her laugh and make her mad and then make her happy again. For some one who needs my attention I put her on a very up down emotional roller coaster to make her feel like she is not in control. I am.She has to learn that.
c)psychologically
--I am the provider and the protector. It even says on her myspace I make her feel safe. d)intellectually
--I am always talking to her about new things and introducing her to new ideas
For Karmasutra and Tits man there you go. I am doing everything almost right 90% of the time. This girl loves me. maybe I didnt give enough information but all she ever talks about is "when we get married" or "when we have kids" or "when we live together". With all that I dont think she is ready to walk or that I have acted AFC in any way.
 
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Albion10

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BobFuest said:
For Karmasutra and Tits man there you go. I am doing everything almost right 90% of the time. This girl loves me. maybe I didnt give enough information but all she ever talks about is "when we get married" or "when we have kids" or "when we live together". With all that I dont think she is ready to walk or that I have acted AFC in any way.
Don't listen to all these guys telling you what theory to adhere to, you'll just be frustrated and lonely. Their theories may get you laid but they're not going to make you happy; unless of course all you want is to get laid.

Dude, first you gotta ask yourself what you want. Do you love this girl? Do you want to move in with her? Can you see yourself eventually marrying her? If you want all this stuff with her then maybe it's time to step up the relationship to the next level. If you don't live together, ask her to move in.

As far as the romance remark goes, sure it could mean that she's getting bored. But it could also mean that you're not romancing her enough. A woman always wants to know that she is the only woman in your life. Romance, as far as I am concerned, is doing just that.

Here are the rules:
- Make sure it's a suprise.
- Make her long for it, she should never expect it.
- Pay attension to every detail.

This is always a good one. In the morning before she heads off to work get yourself a nice piece of paper. Spray it with her favorite cologne and write, "I'm thinking about you right now!" or "I can't get you out of my mind!" or "Your beautiful!" or anything that will make her feel special.

For other examples check out "1001 ways to be romantic" at Amazon.com.

-Al
 

Latinoman

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Don't listen to all these guys telling you what theory to adhere to, you'll just be frustrated and lonely. Their theories may get you laid but they're not going to make you happy; unless of course all you want is to get laid.

Albion no offense, but your remarks can be misunderstood by other posters as botherline arrogant. Read your post again with an open mind and you will see what I'm trying to say.

I don't disagree nor agree with your post. And I am pretty sure you were not referring to my advice either. That's not the issue here.

However, I wanted to point out that you advice him not to listen to any of the theories. But then you go on providing your own and recommend some Amazon.com book on how to be romantic. Do you think that buying 12 roses in St. Valentine day make a man "romantic"? No...it makes him one of the bunch. He has to be spontaneous and create his unique style. And for what I've seen, he is doing a pretty good job. He only needs to romance her more from time to time to validate to her that she is the one (yes, she is insecure about his intentions/love/desire/whatever in the relationship). But he cannot be overly romantic (e.g. AFC), because then she will take him for granted.

I think that he should read ALL the comments and then make HIS own decision based on the data he has collected and what he already know about her and the relationship (remember, he knows her...we don't).

Fact is...no one in here knows him or his girl. All we can do is provide nuggets of information based either on our experience, the experience of others, or based on what we have read in the past. Of course, some people give advice without knowing what they are talking about (not saying that's the case in this thread - I didn't read most of the post written prior to mine)...but it is up to the reader to determine that and adjust.

Peace.
 

Slickster

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Wow what shyt advice!

No offense to previous posters but I'm starting to wonder if there are any real DJ's around here anymore.

I haven't been around here much lately but I'm sick today and just passing through. When I read the responses you've been given to your original question I just had to chime in.

First off Bob, if your girl asks you to be more romantic then ANYTHING you do from that point on trying to be more romantic will be exactly the opposite. Why? Because she had to ask for it.

In the same way "asking" her how she wants to be romanced is lame too. (Geez Francisco you been slipping lately bro? :) )

What your girl is telling you is that she's bored. Maybe not with you but with the relationship. Most likely you two are stuck in a bit of a relationship rut. Its easy to do and happens all the time. In fact I'd say that most relationships fail for this very reason.

Its SO easy for two people to get caught up in all the "busy-ness" of their own lives. The relationship may be a good one but it has become comfortable and stable. In a way it gets put on the "back burner" of our lives. Days and months go by and it just becomes the "same old, same old".

Bob, what your relationship needs is more excitement. Nothing drastic, just something new. Go to new places, go on a trip, do something neither of you have done before. Get yourselves out of your comfort zones and you will be drawn to each other automatically through the bonds which you already have.

Women are bombarded with ideas of romance everyday from television, movies, magazines, etc. While she may appreciate "some" romantic gestures if you go overboard you will drive her away.

The other problem that plagues relationships that have become too comfortable and stable is the idea that your partner will "always" be there. (Which is ironic because that is why we enter relationships in the first place.)
However once a relationship reaches the comfortable/stable phase that is exactly when both partners tend to take the other for granted.

This is why I always preach to guys in relationships. You have to continue meeting and attracting new women. I'm not saying date them or cheat on your girl! Just meet them and talk to them. Even if your girl is standing right there beside you! Chat up the cashier at the grocery store. Whatever you have to do. Women want guys who are desired by other women. Guys in relationships tend to forget that and live their lives like they have been married for 30 years. They don't even consider chatting up any new women.

What most guys in LTR's fail to realize is that just the mere act of chatting up that cute cashier (whether your girl is watching or not) leaves you with a sense of power. The power of knowing that you are still capable of attracting other women. Whether your girl witnessed it or not she senses it and strives to be THE ONE that you desire. Your girl would never admit it but that is what all women want. The attention of a man who is desired by many. It validates them. So spread that attention around a little bit. :)

I've been in plenty of LTR's and over the years I've noticed without fail that my girl always treated me the best when I was receiving plenty of attention from other women.

If me and my band had a gig, or I was the star of the basketball game, or even if I wore the coolest costume to the Halloween party. I knew I'd be getting my a$$ f*cked off later because of all the female attention I got that day.

So in summary, keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Try new things all the time. Also continue meeting and attracting new women. Its not only good for your relationship it's good for your life.

Bob, if you follow my advice your girlfriend will be dating THE guy, who takes her new and exciting places all the time and is desired by TONS of women.

Now tell me....how romantic is that? ;)
 

BobFuest

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Slickster said:
No offense to previous posters but I'm starting to wonder if there are any real DJ's around here anymore.

I haven't been around here much lately but I'm sick today and just passing through. When I read the responses you've been given to your original question I just had to chime in.

First off Bob, if your girl asks you to be more romantic then ANYTHING you do from that point on trying to be more romantic will be exactly the opposite. Why? Because she had to ask for it.

In the same way "asking" her how she wants to romanced is lame too. (Geez Francisco you been slipping lately bro? :) )

What your girl is telling you is that she's bored. Maybe not with you but with the relationship. Most likely you two are stuck in a bit of a relationship rut. Its easy to do and happens all the time. In fact I'd say that most relationships fail for this very reason.

Its SO easy for two people to get caught up in all the "busy-ness" of their own lives. The relationship may be a good one but it has become comfortable and stable. In a way it gets put on the "back burner" of our lives. Days and months go by and it just becomes the "same old, same old".

Bob, what your relationship needs is more excitement. Nothing drastic, just something new. Go to new places, go on a trip, do something neither of you have done before. Get yourselves out of your comfort zones and you will be drawn to each other automatically through the bonds which you already have.

Women are bombarded with ideas of romance everyday from television, movies, magazines, etc. While she may appreciate "some" romantic gestures if you go overboard you will drive her away.

The other problem that plagues relationships that have become too comfortable and stable is the idea that your partner will "always" be there. (Which is ironic because that is why we enter relationships in the first place.)
However once a relationship reaches the comfortable/stable phase that is exactly when both partners tend to take the other for granted.

This is why I always preach to guys in relationships. You have to continue meeting and attracting new women. I'm not saying date them or cheat on your girl! Just meet them and talk to them. Even if your girl is standing right there beside you! Chat up the cashier at the grocery store. Whatever you have to do. Women want guys who are desired by other women. Guys in relationships tend to forget that and live their lives like they have been married for 30 years. They don't even consider chatting up any new women.

I've been in plenty of LTR's and over the years I've noticed without fail that my girl always treated me the best when I was receiving plenty of attention from other women.

If me and my band had a gig, I was the star of the basketball game, or even if I wore the coolest costume to the Halloween party. I knew I'd be getting my a$$ f*cked off later because of all the female attention I got that day.

So in summary, keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Try new things all the time. Also continue meeting and attracting new women. Its not only good for your relationship it's good for your life.

Bob, if you follow my advice your girlfriend will be dating THE guy, who takes her new and exciting places all the time and is desired by TONS of women.

Now tell me....how romantic is that? ;)
There we go. You probably hit that one right on the money. The only thing i dont do IS take her to new and exciting places as much in the last few weeks. She knows i meet and have woman hounding me all day and night. hmm... maybe i can find something interesting and out there for tonight or tomorrow..
 
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