"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

My girl have left me for her sweet friend

T

The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
1,652
Reaction score
20
Location
CAN-NUH-DUH
I had a good laugh at this thread.

We aren't laughing at you Bjerte, just so that you know. It's just, realising that writing in english is very difficult for you, there is some really funny stuff that came out of your posts.

It's just the general tone that you give off...

Welcome to the boards. :)


The Bad Ass Canadian
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

F

Fenderules

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
873
Reaction score
1
Age
40
Location
Alberta
yeah welcome..............so you actually grabbed his balls???????? ahaha thats awesome lol
 
P

PuertoRican_Lover

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2003
Messages
4,280
Reaction score
8
Location
Wisconsin. USA
She sees you as a violent angry man who can't control himself!

Girls are scared of men who they think will be violent to them - thus she likes this other guy who is "nice" to her!
 
E

El Coré

New Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2005
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Vyascheslavinki, Elbonia (Shorthand for West Wickh
Let me just say this: Bjerte, you are either a comic genius, or a very unfortunate Icelander.

You make good joke very much. Yes!

And like a lot of people have said, you do sound uncannyliy like Borat from the Ali G show... a little too like Borat. Careful how you go, Bjerte, or you could end up paying him royalties.

Still I laughed my arse off - if you really are from Iceland, go into the comedy business in America or even better over here in the UK - you'd be an overnight celebrity if it weren't for Borat (can't remember the comedian's name) getting there before you.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

M

Mr. Delicious

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2003
Messages
498
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
OK
yes just go on tour and tell stories about your life. I will be your manager :D You'll make millions here!!!
 
B

Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2002
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
16
Location
Land of the Ruins
Do not you improve English yes?

Listen to what writes El Coré.

Bjerte am going to make millions of dollars American if you not improve English and tell sad story here in USA. Then you Bjerte have American women more than you can handle and you very much relax and ****.
 
B

Bjerte

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
26
Reaction score
6
Location
Iceland
I am happy what you say to me and laught lots at me jokes. I like to be a funny mate!

I wish now to have all girls laught at me because I have bad news. Snits is not my girl today. She have leave to go to london in england. she wanted this and my tears of love cannot stop it to happen.

I tell you about Kjell. He say to Snits he love her and she say NO because he is sweet friend ONLY. My laught was loud at his face!!! He is AFC! When I look at him in his eyes and he have tears. Then I wish to strike him hard but I stop! I stop all anger forever!!!

I cried on Snits but it is ok because it is time now to seek new sexy girls!!!! My warm friend Daus will help me find. We dance at night and he bringed a girl to Bjerte for a kiss!!! heehee ;)

I can make millions at america to tell my jokes. This is joke at me no?? If not joke I say WOY!!!! Take me there!!!!!!!!!!!

Metalfortress is wrong that I am gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Jariel

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
296
Location
UK
Originally posted by Bjerte
I am happy what you say to me and laught lots at me jokes. I like to be a funny mate!
Click to expand...
That's good! You know we would never do anything to enrage you, right?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

E

El Coré

New Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2005
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Vyascheslavinki, Elbonia (Shorthand for West Wickh
Yeah seriously Bjerte, you should come over here to stay in London a while. You could really p**s Snits off by being here and acting all up-beat about how well your life is going since you left her. You could even bring some Icelandic babes over with you just to show off.

Trust me it's so easy to get into the UK at the moment - you don't even need a passport! Cling onto the underside of the Eurostar and, hey presto, you're in. We Brits would really value a love rat like youself, Bjerte (no offence - people everywhere should hear your story). Who knows, you could even make it onto the next series of Big Brother?
 
Last edited:
K

karusel

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2003
Messages
98
Reaction score
1
Age
47
Just chiming in to say: LOLLERZ!!!! :D

This is by far the best thread I've read!! :D
 
B

Bjerte

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
26
Reaction score
6
Location
Iceland
I look on the words I writed and now I have smile on my face. it was long ago and hurting time for Bjerte and I do crazy thing. It is love confuze at the brains.

I got memo come from Snits at london to say she miss me but I say to f-uk with horse or dog because she is animal-like. My love is dead! I not love animal woman! I say I love new girl Yole!

I have happy feeling on Snits Thank You to DJforum!
 
I

italostud

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
804
Reaction score
7
Age
45
Lol
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

D

DrSassyPants

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 4, 2004
Messages
68
Reaction score
0
lol.

Congratulations on forgetting about the horse****er.

Bjerte put it in Yole, yes? Make her orgasm much? She scream long time. Yes.
 
J

J_dni

New Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Thank you

Ok i know it is been three years since this thread was posted, but i wanted to say that this is the first time i laughed my heart out since my girl left me about a month ago.

So i wanna say:

Tnx Bjerte, god bless you man!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top