"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

My GF Wants Us to Know Deeper About Each Other's World

Fela Kuti

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
455
Reaction score
3
This started when I told her that I'm going clubbing with my friends this Friday. She said that she wants to go along. I asked her what makes her so eager since usually she's not like that. After some pause, she said that even though we're days away from our 1st anniversary, we hardly know each other's world. By world, she means social circle. So, by going with me, she's hoping that she could know more about my friends. She then told a story about her ex. Even though she wasn't happy with the relationship, one thing she liked about her ex was that he always tried to get to know her friends, and get his friends to know her. I said, my way of thinking has always been "We have our times together, and times with friends. Two different worlds." She said that even though she understand my stance, she sometimes want those two worlds to be "joined".

Do you guys think her demand is reasonable? I know that it wouldn't hurt to do what she said. I even want my friends and her to know each other. But my problem is meeting her friend. I don't feel like to.

P.S. We have many mutual friends, actually. But not the ones I/she go out with often.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Smartone84

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2006
Messages
335
Reaction score
105
bottom line, if you've been going out for a year and haven't met/hung out a few times with each other's REAL friends, then thats definitely not right
 

Fela Kuti

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
455
Reaction score
3
I'm not intending to defend myself here, but I actually have some kind of social anxiety. I'm not comfortable with meeting new people.
 

immrtlwun

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
289
Reaction score
0
I think what you two have is relatively normal. I'm sure she knows your real friends, she just wants to know what you guys do together. I have a lot of friends that my girlfriend has only met, not hung out with, and she has a lot that I've only met a few times and not had much conversation with.
As far as going clubbing with you and your friends, that's a little odd. I would start with having her come along to dinner or something chill with you and your friends, not clubbing though. Clubbing and partying are completely different settings for her to try to get to know your friends than something casual like dinner.
 

AKA FLEX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2000
Messages
744
Reaction score
5
Fela Kuti said:
I'm not intending to defend myself here, but I actually have some kind of social anxiety. I'm not comfortable with meeting new people.
This is something you need to address. If your reasoning for not wanting your social lives to be intertwined just because you wanted to keep your time with your friends separate, that would be one thing. But it sounds to me like you need to be meeting as many people as possible to get over your fear/"social anxiety".
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Top