"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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My GF might be an energy vampire

zinc64

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She just makes me feel drained period. We have so much fun together otherwise and good sex. But she pulls very emotional drunks sometimes when she comes over on the weekdays and I work A LOT. When she drinks...she starts saying crazy things like there is a big gap between us and stuff. Then the next morning, she is like an opposite person. I'm ****ing sick of the drama. She is Korean and I am American so that is another thing. She speaks mediocre english so calls her up friends when she is drunk. **** this ****, i really like her and she is always telling me how much she loves me and I don't want to go back to banging random chicks. **** it though. I am thinking I need to save myself some future trouble and cut her loose. My job over here is already driving me insane. I am the only westerner in my entire city over here and I teach 10 classes a day of kids that demand me to poor my energy out to them to make them happy because i work at a private school where my job as a foreign teacher is pretty much to make the kids happy so the parents will be happy. The parents all crowd around a TV screen that shows what is going on in class. I am beyond my wits end after day...seriously i am barely hanging on with my job then I come home and put up with her BS. She only goes to three classes a day and *****es about how hard her life is and how I can never understand. **** this ****. She's over here right now drunk sleeping. I feel like dragging her out of bed and telling her to get a taxi home. She's made me exhausted this entire week. Some posters on here warned me that she might have issues. I think they were right. They were wrong about her being a ho, because she's not, but regardless, I have to cut her loose and get someone more stable.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DonGorgon

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Well like most humans she has issues and she is using alchahol to escape those issues.... My guess is you drink also right?? Anyway, alchahol will make her express other true feeling that she is afraid to express when sober... either way, her actions are the most important indicator of the health of your relationship... Does she treat you well, does she care etc...
 

zinc64

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DonGorgon said:
Well like most humans she has issues and she is using alchahol to escape those issues.... My guess is you drink also right?? Anyway, alchahol will make her express other true feeling that she is afraid to express when sober... either way, her actions are the most important indicator of the health of your relationship... Does she treat you well, does she care etc...

Yeah she does. I drink more than her. But that is the thing. Usually, she decides to get drunk on nights when I am not drinking which makes me feel not as close to her. Thne hwen I want to get drunk on the wekends...she is always saying how tired she is. She lives a ****ing life of paradise compared to me. She treats me well for the most out and cares....but still...there is something there. She makes subtle insults...like the gap between us...she says i am more like a little kid...when I have my **** together much more than her. I just don't trust her at times. I cussed her out tonight and told her that her schedule is a complete joke compared to mine. Her attitude really pisses me off. Everytime she calls me while I'm working and says she is shopping or drinking coffee at a cafe...it's a ****ing joke.
 

typical

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First of all make paragraphs please, or take writing lessons.

Second of all, your a man you dont need garbage dragging you down, call her up set up a meet and tell her its over, go out get another girl that isn't so demanding.

Thirdly you asked and answered your own question, you don't need us to validate that your answer is right or wrong, follow your gut.
 

zinc64

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typical said:
First of all make paragraphs please, or take writing lessons.

Second of all, your a man you dont need garbage dragging you down, call her up set up a meet and tell her its over, go out get another girl that isn't so demanding.

Thirdly you asked and answered your own question, you don't need us to validate that your answer is right or wrong, follow your gut.
Dude, I graduated from a highly respected journalism program top of my class. I know how to write. I am just wasted right now.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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typical

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There you go then, Don't I repeat Don't go online and post when your smashed bro.

Getting smashed is ok but if your gonna be like the rest of the world of afc's and sit there sulking about a problem you have when your drunk then you have some issues to deal with.

So back to the point now, get rid of the girl (remember your young and she's just a girl you met out of the blue) and cut down the drinking it'll help :)
 

zinc64

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typical said:
There you go then, Don't I repeat Don't go online and post when your smashed bro.

Getting smashed is ok but if your gonna be like the rest of the world of afc's and sit there sulking about a problem you have when your drunk then you have some issues to deal with.

So back to the point now, get rid of the girl (remember your young and she's just a girl you met out of the blue) and cut down the drinking it'll help :)
Yeah, I do have two issues. How to get less classes at work and getting rid of this up and down physco that I'm dating.
 

typical

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Hmm about work, I'm not sure about that.

About the girl, there are many ways but 2 ways work the best.

First way is just to cut contact (quite harsh) and she'l get the picture. Second way is (balls required to initiate) to sit down and tell it to her straight (In a quiet public place so she doesn't pull a spazz).

All good things come to an end and from the looks of this she was not that good :)

P.S Yep I do sound like a heartless POS, but its for the best of both you and the girl, maybe in the future when she has her sh!t sorted you can hook back up till then cya honey.
 

DonGorgon

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zinc64 said:
Yeah she does. I drink more than her. But that is the thing. Usually, she decides to get drunk on nights when I am not drinking which makes me feel not as close to her. Thne hwen I want to get drunk on the wekends...she is always saying how tired she is. She lives a ****ing life of paradise compared to me. She treats me well for the most out and cares....but still...there is something there. She makes subtle insults...like the gap between us...she says i am more like a little kid...when I have my **** together much more than her. I just don't trust her at times. I cussed her out tonight and told her that her schedule is a complete joke compared to mine. Her attitude really pisses me off. Everytime she calls me while I'm working and says she is shopping or drinking coffee at a cafe...it's a ****ing joke.
well both of you need to reduce the dependence on liquor and maybe depend on each other more!? If you two sober up together i think you have a good shot..

Oh and that gap between you she keeps mentioning.. well that is filled with vodka!!!! remove the vodka and close the gap
 

zinc64

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****. part of me loves her. But I can't allow this feeling to haunt me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DonGorgon

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zinc64 said:
****. part of me loves her. But I can't allow this feeling to haunt me.
DonGorgon said:
well both of you need to reduce the dependence on liquor and maybe depend on each other more!? If you two sober up together i think you have a good shot..

Oh and that gap between you she keeps mentioning.. well that is filled with vodka!!!! remove the vodka and close the gap
^^^did you read that?
 

zinc64

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i feel disprespected....i was upset and she went to sleep...i am like the ***** right now...this has gone bad....has to end...i let my emotions get me this time...damnit!
 

comic_relief

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Anybody that is an emotional vampire should be left in the dirt. I did that to my ex-girlfriend and have been much happier because of it.

comic_relief
 

zinc64

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Yeah, you are right. She is weak and is making me weaker.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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