"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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My gf keeps telling me how hot her guy friend is

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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
Women need to know their place.

Jester is right. ALL OF YOU AFC'S SAYING C&F! C&F! HAVE NO BACKBONE. Get real.


JC
Well said JC. When a woman is being blatantly disrespectful, you have to call her on it. It's amazing how many girls lack respect and tact. You should definitely tell her that she's being disrespectful and that you expect more from those around you. If she apologizes and admits that she's just oblivious to being respectful, then fine. But if she's defensive about it, kick her to the curb and find someone who will respect you.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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sparky1981

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If everything has been cool up to this point she may just be trying to make you jelous. If this is the case just take it in your stride. If things haven't been good lately its prob time to talk bout it and then maybe dump her depending on how that works out
 

Jariel

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Don't just talk about other girls or retaliate in jealousy. See it as a free pass to eye up other women and express an interest in front of her. Make her see that you want and are wanted by other women.

A girl I'm seeing was talking about her guy friend recently, so I started checking out some women in the canteen. The cool thing was, many of these women were returning the smiles and giving great vibes, and she knew it!

Or alternatively, you can call her bluff and actually encourage her to hit on him or offer to set them up, as if she's not your girlfriend. This shows you don't care and in my experience this is a big insult and drives women insane.

I tried this with another girl when she was flirting with one of my mates. I said she should go for it and she went crazy, accusing me of not caring about her. She called me at 1am Friday night to have another go at me because I "don't give a sh1t if she gets off with other guys".

Either way, do not reward this behaviour by giving her more attention or trying harder with her.
 
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i'd say later bitttch. if a girl can't respect her own rule (they all seem pissed off when their guy finds another girl attractive), then she's out of the picture.
 

Desdinova

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Women will test you, even in a LTR. But in a LTR, the tests get more sparse. Occasionally, she'll want to know if she's still with a real man and throw a 5hit test his way. When he keeps passing, the 5hit tests will remain sparse. If he begins to fail, she'll increase the amount of 5hit tests she throws his way until she's convinced that she is no longer with a real man.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Guitar_Whizz

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Some interesting replies guys, thanks. I tried to defuse the situation last night by saying 'Come to think of it, he's almost as gorgeous as me'. She said I was bigheaded. When she said he was hot again later that night, I simply replied 'you've told me that like 1000 times already *yawn*', and she seemed to get the message.

After some thinking, I've now decided the best way to deal with a girl that says another guys is sexy is to tell her firmly not to do that, without losing your cool. You guys are right, a girl will throw tests at you even while in an LTR. I think you have to be just as DJ or maybe more DJ if you want to keep a girl, than if you were just 'picking up' a girl.
 

Monkey

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I think this girl is already 'lost'

If she doesn't have the common sense to know not to say such things then she obviously wants this other guy.

She no longer sees you as a viable bf and more of a friend. Saying another guy is hot is the sort of thing she'd discuss with friends and not a bf she cared about.

Sorry to say it but the way I see it is shes already moved on in her mind to this other guy and theres not much you can do.

You could try having an extended break from her, pull right back and see how much she misses you but I think its basically over.



To say it once or twice could just be accepted as a **** test even in a LTR but to keep saying it should be sending off warning signals.
 

BrotherAP

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Don't you guys get it?

You guys are all sitting around trying to figure out what to say

You should be figuring out what to do

Talk is cheap


She is talking about another man

This means she is thinking about him

Spending time with you

Thinking about him


And you think the solution is to say something ****y & funny?

You can make arrogant jokes until the cows come home

But she's still thinking about him


If you don't dump her, at least have some gals on the backburner because yours is

going....

going...

and soon she'll be gone


BrotherAP :D
 

BrotherAP

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p.s. if you dump her for another girl, and stop talking to her, she WILL come back

just make sure to let her know that she talked about that other guy so much, you figured she wanted to be with him and decided just to move on with your life

Do this and she'll remember you for the rest of her life as 'the one that got away'

I'd bet money on it


BrotherAP :D
 

backbreaker

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look.. when you date a girl, that you care about, you will still see hot women. I promise you all the hot women on earth dont' drop off the face of the earth. I am sure she is aware of this as well.

But how disrespeful is it if I am with my GF and I am in the mall and a girl passes us, and I say "god damn she is fine". Now, I might think she is hot, I might even look... but that's a slap in the face to blurt that out in front of my GF.. no respect whatsoever.

Now, reverse.

What she did to you, if even a **** test, is extremely disrepsful and should be let go, ,she isn't GF m aterial ,regardless of how hot she is.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Monkey

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Originally posted by backbreaker
What she did to you, if even a **** test, is extremely disrepsful and should be let go, ,she isn't GF m aterial ,regardless of how hot she is.
Shes already dreaming of this other guy banging her brains out so just dump her already...

You should not have any time for these silly games Guitar_Whizz
 

backbreaker

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Originally posted by Monkey
Shes already dreaming of this other guy banging her brains out so just dump her already...

You should not have any time for these silly games Guitar_Whizz
exactly.. he's probably a guy she doesn't think she has a chance with
 

DarkLight

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Ya after hearing every1's take on it, including the severity of it, with this chick always saying this sh1t to you.

She needs to be seriously checked!

I would go brotherAP's route.

Dump her, saying that you've lost interest in her, due to her classless behaivor, you need a woman of quality.

This will either check her so hard, that she'll be clenching your balls... or set you free from this chick (which would be a true test back to her... proving either if she is quality or not).

But all in all, doesn't seem like she is, and that thoughts of another man have already been marinating on her mind.

You be the one to cut it... its the last power move you can make.
And whatever the outcome... you'll go out as a man.

Either back with her, holding the reigns... or Free of some low class chick, and back to forest with your chin still up.

-DarkLight-

-----------------------------------------------------------

P.S. it was good to read others opinion on this, ty
 

Jariel

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I think dumping her is way too extreme. It's not like she has cheated on you and is probably just after a bit more attention from you that's all or testing to see if you're the jealous and posessive type.

Girls use jealousy games all the time and you'll never escape that. You just have to learn to not let them faze you and turn the tables.
 

WORKEROUTER

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This has happened to me before.

First off, she's disrespecting you.

The second she even mentions this, you tell her quite seriously that if she ever mentions how "hot" another guy is in front of you, you're going to get your things and walk out the door (assuming you're at her place).

I said just that to an ex-gf of mine. She shut the f*ck up real quick.

You have to lay down the law with these b*tches once in a while. Some of them need it, but all of them innately like it.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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seanchai

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Originally posted by Jariel
I think dumping her is way too extreme. It's not like she has cheated on you and is probably just after a bit more attention from you that's all or testing to see if you're the jealous and posessive type.

Girls use jealousy games all the time and you'll never escape that. You just have to learn to not let them faze you and turn the tables.
Agree completely. On some level it becomes a respect thing, but if you dump a girl because she tells you her friend is hot ONCE, you're going to feel and BE insecure.

In your case, tell her to knock it off because she's doing it so much. Twice in a night? WTF doesn't she have anything else to talk about?
 

Phoenix_of_the_ashes

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You guys are way too extreme, me and my girl talk about other people we find hot all the time, she even points out girls that she thinks are my type and stuff.

If your secure enough about whats the problem? We all know that she will find some guys hot, you probably see 5 girls youd like to **** everyday, even if your in a relationship.

Another thing, I suggest you guys simply forget about jealousy. Its an irrational emotion and if you abolish it you have so much more leverage in the relationship. In the beginning of my current LTR my girl noticed that I had no jealousy so she would try to test me, I told her that she will loose any head on conflict which involves jealousy because I know she gets jealous fast, she conceeded from testing me as of then.
 

CLOONEY

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Dont drop her, but tell her to show you some respect! And show her you mean it! If she keeps doing it, threaten to drop her if she continues (this will show her you really mean it). If she does continue, do it!
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by Phoenix_of_the_ashes
You guys are way too extreme, me and my girl talk about other people we find hot all the time, she even points out girls that she thinks are my type and stuff.

If your secure enough about whats the problem? We all know that she will find some guys hot, you probably see 5 girls youd like to **** everyday, even if your in a relationship.

Another thing, I suggest you guys simply forget about jealousy. Its an irrational emotion and if you abolish it you have so much more leverage in the relationship. In the beginning of my current LTR my girl noticed that I had no jealousy so she would try to test me, I told her that she will loose any head on conflict which involves jealousy because I know she gets jealous fast, she conceeded from testing me as of then.
If she disrespects you, get angry! Tell her not to fukcing do it again or she will get the boot. Once you lay the law down, she will love it!

If she is talking about a guy she finds hot off TV, or maybe even one who walks past, fine. If she is doing it CONSTANTLY about a guy "FRIEND" she is disrespecting you and you need to stop it!

Just remember, its the guys she tells you about you dont have to worry about, its the guys she doesnt tell you about you worry about! Either way though, she is definately trying to make you jealous, is insecure and is dying (deep down) for you to put the foot down!
 

DarkLight

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fair enough

but don't take much of this sh!t... check her! If she continues... check out'

-DarkLight-
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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