My GF is moving in a few months...

[SuperAlbert]

I've been with this girl for about two months now and a few weeks ago she has accepted this job in NYC. She has been planning to do this for a while now (even before we started going out), and now the time has finally come. It's been a dream of hers to go out and do something like this and I admire her for finally having the chance to do something for herself.

The problem is that it's been getting pretty complicated between her and I because we both know about long distance relationships. The topic has been pretty intense and since we know we're going to part ways pretty soon, she keeps asking me "So what's the point of all this?" I explained to her that I don't really know but all I can feel about our relationship is that I'd rather have some great remaining moments with her then not having it at all. AFC quality huh? I know but I really like her. I would repeat that line everytime she would ask that question but then the effect of it is wearing out thin. What else could I say to try to hold on to her as long as possible? Should I let her go for the best of us? or should I keep doing what I'm doing becuase I really like her?

We both tell each other that we're crazy for having to be together still and she would ask questions about why we're still staying together. Here's the catch: A few weeks before she accepted the job, she said she loved me. I've been thinking a whole lot and I came to the conclusion (so far) that she's testing to see how much I really think about the whole relationship. She's really passionate and shows alot of emotion on how she loves me but in return, I'm not able to do the same. I try to but I'm just not that type of person to show affection. I think she keeps asking these questions because she says she feels that even though I tell her what I feel, she feels like it's not enough. What else can I do? I don't know what else to do.

Anyways, I know this post is pretty long but I tried to cram all that's inside my head into one. Please give me some insightful information. Don't just give me bull**** replys like "next her". Give me reasons for your answers. Thanks.

 

[Abcd]

Same here

I'm in a very similar situation - I've been going out with this girl for about a month, the relationship is starting off really slowly, partially we were apart for spring break... She's leaving my college town forever in about six weeks when school ends, and then leaving to study in ecuador for nine months after that. She'll never be back...

We like each other, and have pretty romantic time together, connect well, etc. but I just wish I'd met her a year ago instead of now. The fact that she is leaving makes it very odd, we both know that this can't really be anything in the long term, and even though most relationships might not last longer than a couple months anyway, it's terrible to have that finite limit placed on things.

I don't have any advice really, I think you're saying all the right things. Don't tell her you love her unless you really do - you'll only be setting yourselves up for a lot more pain when she leaves. It's probably going to have to be a clean break in both of our cases, or else we'll go crazy.

Sad times, we'll try to enjoy what we can I guess.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have no idea why you went forward with this relationship knowing that if her dream comes true, she'd leave. We all know that LDRs don't work unless you already have an established LTR and even then it's not easily kept.

The fact is, if you loved her, you'd be asking whether you should move out there to be near her. Face it, you've only been together a couple of months, she's already professed her love but she's leaving anyway and you only like her.

Should you really be asking this question?

 

[DJsparky]

me and my gf live 6 hours away from each other, we make the effort to meet up and keep it interesting and fun. Im actually meeting her tommorow which will be great. Guys if you want to be with her then ask her this, ask her if she thinks you guys are serious and trustworthy enough to have a LDR, remember its all about communication

 

[flexion_]

I always try and think how things like this will matter 5 years from now in my life. That might help you put it in perspective.

Reality - does 8 weeks mean something permanent in your life? I think not.

I'd enjoy what you have and part on good terms. If you plan on marrying her and having kids then by all means purue this on another level but I don't really hear that in your words and it doesn't make sense practically either.

 

[DJsparky]

It all depends if you're ready for a meaningful relationship, this is just an obstacle, if not dump her a$$ n fook other chicks

 

[Abcd]

agree completely

I always try and think how things like this will matter 5 years from now in my life. That might help you put it in perspective.

Reality - does 8 weeks mean something permanent in your life? I think not.

I'd enjoy what you have and part on good terms. If you plan on marrying her and having kids then by all means purue this on another level but I don't really hear that in your words and it doesn't make sense practically either.

Yeah I completely agree. I mean for me, this girl is both the coolest and the hottest person I've ever dated, but that's still not enough to make it really seem worth it to have a year long, long-distance relationship, with an unknown arrangement after that. So at the end of the day both of us are going to part ways, shed a tear, and move on...