my gf "guy friends"

[congruence]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

Here's a question, do you trust YOURSELF enough to handle the possibility that you may seem overbearing and controlling to her with your vigilance in attempting to control the situation? And in that you may drive her away?

Consider putting more effort into understanding the mindset of your woman and how you can sustain her high IL with what you can do with her. The jealousy thing seems to be building and if it's not going to work out it may be best to break things off before they become ugly. [/B]

Definately I'll have to do some mental judo, don juan reconditioning to keep myself from getting too emotionally involved..

As for high IL, how do you guys personally do that with your GF.
I'd imagine anti-dump's advice of seeing her once a week doesn't appy anymore..

I've already read all the articles on the Bible about LTRS, but they leave much to be desired for.. . . Thanks

 

[DesertsFox]

Well, counterperspective

I say let the ***** hang out with whoever, meet girls at clubs and do the same thing. She aint gonna cheat on u, if she thinks ur a hair away from walkiung away, my advice is simply to ignore her, and do ur own thing. Trying to over**** her will simply get her bored with u. gl mate

 

[myfriendblu]

1. She is an AW
2. She likes the guy
3. he likes her
4. Im assuming your both under 25?

Recipe for disaster right there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by congruence
Definately I'll have to do some mental judo, don juan reconditioning to keep myself from getting too emotionally involved..

As for high IL, how do you guys personally do that with your GF.
I'd imagine anti-dump's advice of seeing her once a week doesn't appy anymore..

I've already read all the articles on the Bible about LTRS, but they leave much to be desired for.. . . Thanks

I'll give you some advice that works for me since my GF is still friends with a few of her EXs and so I hear about lunches they had together and I see them at parties and since we all are cyclists, we literally ride in some of the same crowds.

What I do is enjoy it. I stay in the mindset that I am with a woman who they loss out on. More so, I make sure that she knows that she is even more lucky. I do this by making sure her girlfriends always have a nice word to say about me. How do I do that? I DJ them, what else!!!

Understand that I never close on any of them but I do the things that make them feel good. I'm friendly, confident and funny with all of them so whenever they see me, they are genuinely glad that I am there. They even go to the extent of asking my GF if I would mind tagging along on some of their outing.

The key to this is that it is a MAJOR confidence booster and my GF can tell. Luckily for her she is a confident woman so she doesn't get overly jealous, rather she keeps herself in check. But no matter how much I flirt with other women, I always flirt with her the most and I do it in front of her friends. This helps boost her ego too.

In a nutshell women keep their IL high when their guy shows them respect, romance and affection. If you give her those things and stay calm and confident yourself, everything is a cake walk. As long as you stay a DJ and treat your woman well (who should be giving, flexible and have high integrity), you will be fine.

 

[b's nuts]

yeah, my gf's ex just moved back from vegas and has been wanting to hang out with her. K, heres the situation. She cheated on her bf with me and left him for me, this is who has been wanting to hang out. She told me he stopped by her house and whatever, and i at first got jealous. Yesterday she told me he gave her a ride to a doctors appointment, and asked if i was mad (and i could tell that she was hoping i was) but i just said "he can give you a ride, i don't care, im the one who is having sex with you".

 

[HollowHorizon]

Picture this man. If you where single and you met a hot chick that liked you as a so called "Friend" and invited you to her house and her boyfriend wasent there. What would u rather try to be a friend, Or a Don Juan? Its simple fact if she ****es up she is gone her loss...Also try asking if she would invite you as well to these gatherings..If it gets to extreem do the same. Find a girl that is a friend but dont cheat man!!!



~ Wisdom is the key


~Hope i help you man~ Hollow

PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rahul]

Originally posted by Reto
FA,

She is an Attn Wh0re. My girl is an Attn Wh0re. A normal chick pulls that and she's gone.

I agree with what was said before, she is on a date. I told my girl this. She disagreed. I replied, "YOU weren't on a date, but your boy sure thought he was!"

I think a lot of guys will say to NEXT her. Most of these guys haven't spent much time involved with an Attn Wh0re. I seem to attact Attn Wh0res. It's pretty much all I go out with. There isn't much that fazes me any more. In the beginng, I was a jelous fool. It got me no where. Now, I don't care what she/they do. As long as she doesn't cross the line, I'll stay with her. If she does, BYE ! No discussion...

How do you know if she hasn't already crossed that line? If your girl cheats on you, do you really expect her to come clean to it? Women are never honest dude, they'll even lie to themselves to protect their self image.

 

[CLOONEY]

dude I am not gonna answer this, because there is no RIGHT answer. It all depends on the situation, what moves he makes, what your GF does. Either way all I can say is you better hope and prey. I feel for you, your in the worst FUKCING situation. If there is anyway you can do it, detatch your feelings for her, and end it now!! while u still have you ego intact.

ALthough I know you wont do this, because this contraversy makes you love her more, even though you wish it didnt.

Good luck.

 

[wh01987]

like somone said try to be part of these "Gatherings." Make it clear to the guy that youl kick the **** outa him if he ****s your girls. Be at her house when hes over and be all up on her and he will get the idea. Either that or be like hey look this is my gun ... haha

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by wh01987
like somone said try to be part of these "Gatherings." Make it clear to the guy that youl kick the **** outa him if he ****s your girls. Be at her house when hes over and be all up on her and he will get the idea. Either that or be like hey look this is my gun ... haha

That's very iffy because once you start getting all up on her, you start looking and feeling insecure and jealous... I did that and it drove my relationship into a wall so fast. I go with the train of thought of at least making it appear that you don't need her rather then getting all up in her grill. I'd really hate to see you make the same mistake I did especially since we are here to learn from each other. YA YA forever... ~Zappa

 

[MVPlaya]

Jealousy = Insecurity = "Dump Me"

Originally posted by congruence
This may shock you.. but when I first met her.. I was able to hangout at their house.. Again, I don't know if it's in their culture.. but they seem to just open their house up to people.

It shocks me that you think that would shock me. What the hell is weird about that?

Secondly, TRUST YOUR GAME!!!! If you are sitting there insecure doubting her fidelity towards you and doubting your skills as a man in keeping her you are PUSHING HER AWAY! Jealousy is a sure sign that you're not that special and SHE IS. In other words, she could be dating better sh*t. So! Don't sit there all jealous, show her your confidence, you're a MAN! Don't tell me its because you "really care about her, like, she's amazing." That's bullsh*t, if you really can't trust her, why are you even with her?

However, you said she has "a good track record" (that you describe the situation in these terms is weird to me), meaning, there is not a whole lot of reason to freak out. If she's faithful, don't push her away. Instead, become more of a challenge to her and keep her interested, not wondering, "God, what am I doing with this jealous loser..."

 

[congruence]

Hi,

I talked with her last night.. basicly i layed it out like this..

1. there's no friendship if one "friend" wants to have sex with the other. Doesn't matter if it's recriprical or not.

2. therefore, she's already been going out on 'lil dates with this guy.

3. she's disrespecting (even cheating) on me by going on dates with a guy who wants to fuk her.. even though she's not doing anything.

4. love and disrespect (cheating) can't co-exist.

5. Therefore it's her choice whether to keep on disrespect me and risk losing our relationship.

Btw I also told her that she's an attention whhore.

She was all like,"yeah.. that's so true." So I told her go home and think about why she was such an AW..

I feel like a damn therapist.

Anyway, the way I see it, I definately need to make her IL go higher. . . How do you make IL go higher in LTRS? is it the same as when you first meet a girl? ARGG I don't know anymore .. . .

One tactic would be to start hangout with other people more and become less accessible.. But the thing is, would this make her more of a AW and backfire on me? One of her original defense was, "when she's bored she needs some distraction and therefore she looks for "friends". . .


Thanks,

 

[echo1212]

Hate to say this bro, but this girl is gone, gone, gone. IF that was her reaction last night, to just say its true, she is just trying to come up with a good way to ditch you without causing to much drama. Lets be honest, if she was totally into you, she would never jeoprodize your relationship by having this guy over. I've seen this too many times. She likes this other guy..alot. The only thing you can do right now is give her space, have fun doing other things, and hope she realizes what she would be losing.

But whatever you do, DO NOT keep having these "talks" with her and pressuring her. That will only drive her further away. What she is doing is trying to start a relationship and get that going before she breaks up with you. She wants to have something to latch onto if/when the breakup occurs. Good luck.

 

[HollowHorizon]

Hate to say this bro, but this girl is gone, gone, gone

Your right but in anothersence wrong echo...

Anyways man try the jerk ethics... Only not to her.. To her little pal (warning this may cause a fight with her or him)..Do it mysteriously..Say little things that would bother him or belittle him in various ways..Try catching him offgaurd with remarks but do it with sarcasim..Make him think your a scum ball...Then run back to ur girl when he is being a ****..Tell her its PHucking with your 50% of your part of the relationship.. Then when things get a little hecktic let her know u cant take this anymore and its ither you or him....


Be smart,Sneaky,evily discreet.

Play the same game that this weasle is playing on ur relationship

 

[Brak]

I know how you feel about your g/f having guy "friends".
Its all about attention like some were saying. Either its for attention or they are just so stupid and naive that they think guys can just be friends with a hot chick and never want or try to do anything.
They chick i was hangin with had a ton of guy friends always calling her. Id be sitting right next to her while she is making lunch plans, or plans to hang out or go over to thier apt.
Im like who is that ? "Oh thats so and so hes one of my friends"
.
I am friends with all my friends g/f's and all my friends know that i have enough respect for them to not ever make a move on their girls. I know that there is line and what is crossing it and what isnt.
However if i was just some random dude hanging out with their chick that would not fly. Someone would be getting his ass kicked or someone would be kicked to the curb.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by congruence
Btw I also told her that she's an attention whhore.

She was all like,"yeah.. that's so true." So I told her go home and think about why she was such an AW..

.

Anyway, the way I see it, I definately need to make her IL go higher. . . How do you make IL go higher in LTRS? is it the same as when you first meet a girl?
Thanks,

LOL what did I(and everyone here) tell ya! Duh. She IS an AW. She likes this guy better than you. She has higher IL in this new guy than you. YOU CAN NOT do anything to raise her IL now, just things to lower it even further. The way I see it, IL is already down. Time to cut your losses and NEXT. Now where are those other four chiks your SUPPOSED to have on your backburner at? Time to start digging up numbers.

 

[Digital Mastermind1]

congruence i had this same problem years ago and she said the same to me that they were just her friends so what i did was i TOOK THAT B@#$$ HOME THAT NIGHT AND LEFT HER AT HER HOUSE CRYING AND BEGGING ME BACK AND NEVER LOOKED BACK SINCE .

and guess what 4 years later i found out that she is still the same way i found her and she asked me if i wanted her back so i told her YOU WILL NEVER LEARN TO RESPECT A MAN AND THAT IS WHY YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ME IN YOU LIFE right after that i hanged up the phone AND BOY DID IT FEEL SO GOOD TO TELL AN ATTETION *****$ OFF!!!!!!!!


TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT MAN THATS MY 2 CENTS.

 

[myfriendblu]

Digital is 100 percent right. Its over and done with.

 

[Jake Steed]

Congruence, you messed up. I didn't tell you to give her an ultimatum. That makes you look insecure. I advised you to have a conversation with her to find out her morals--if she feels like she's disrespecting you and to find out WHY she feels the need to disrespect you. It sounds more like you were whining to her.

How did she react? It doesn't sound like she even gave a shyt when you said that to her. If I told my girl I was thinking about dumping her, she would be REALLY upset. Did you talk to her in person or on the phone?

There's no magical way to "raise her IL". To all the guys on this site--One of your biggest mistakes is you act like women are computers. How do I raise her IL? Do I run XXX pattern on her? Do I act C&F? Etc. ETc. She's not a fvcking video game, kid. She's a PERSON. And being a woman, she's an insecure, EMOTIONAL person. When a woman has respect for you, and you turn her on sexually, she will have high interest. You can run C&F or challenge, or whatever bullshyt, but if she has no respect for you, it will never work.

ARE YOU FVCKING HER BRAINS OUT?? Remember, that's the best way to keep women in line--keep thier puzzies sore. You are dating a latin girl here and latin girls were put on this earth to FVCK. If she doesn't respect you, she will start sucking other c0ck for sure.

Jake