My game is getting bleak, help is needed

[reallyfreakinlost]

I'm in the lowest point in my life right now, and I'll try not to sound too whiny. Three girls I used to hang with a lot (one of them I had sex with), all of them now have really come to enjoy pretending that I am not existing anymore. and a couple other girls I used to talk to ignore me now. And even though I've tried to become more confident, less creepy, and less mean, nothing is working out because it seems like girls can 1) read my mind 2) sense my insecurity 3)find me totally repulsive. I need help, guys. Any advice would be helpful.

 

[Tongs]

You have threeitis
next them

 

[typical]

I'm in the lowest point in my life right now, and I'll try not to sound too whiny. Three girls I used to hang with a lot (one of them I had sex with), all of them now have really come to enjoy pretending that I am not existing anymore. and a couple other girls I used to talk to ignore me now. And even though I've tried to become more confident, less creepy, and less mean, nothing is working out because it seems like girls can 1) read my mind 2) sense my insecurity 3)find me totally repulsive. I need help, guys. Any advice would be helpful.

how old are you ? You sound like a 15 year old, so who cares if a few girls ignore you, go out meet some new ones or go do something that makes you feel good about yourself, you need to work on yourself before worrying about a few pairs of tits and a$$

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

reply to typical

Typical, you are 100% right that I sound like a 15 yr old, because my main problem is I am very immature. I am actually soon to be 21. What should I do, get more muscle or something? I am SEVERELY down right now and I am on the verge using alcohol for my problems.

 

[flexion_]

Meet more women - its all a numbers game.

 

[typical]

What ever the fvck you do dont hit the p!ss, it'll make more problems, take a night off from everything sit back and write, let it all out in a book or something, when I'm down I write (I keep a journal which i write in at least once a month)

Letting all that crap out will heal you and make you feel better then make a plan on what your gonna do about all the crap and stick to the plan. Work on your own self screw the other people for a week or two, rediscover things you have always wanted to do and go do them. Join a gym a club or learn a new sport or something, once you occupy yourself withsomething you tend to forget about crap like this cause its just crap.

Basically improve your inner game, get into the mindset that you dont need no one else to be happy, you are your own man you need only yourself to be happy. Like me all I need is my music and my weights that keeps me sweet.

After a week or so go out and just talk to guys and gals just meet people, no getting numbers or anything get out socialise and after that just flow, it'll come easy trust me, If I can do it so can you.

 

[itishe]

ReallyFL, when I get down like that I usually call up a few friends and try to hang out, or hit the gym. Use that negative energy to pump like you've never pumped and make yourself feel better.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Itishe that is good advice but I have seriously mistreated my friends and nobody is here for me. And Typical I will try those things, I also do weights and music, and I have noticed that focusing on myself DOES make me forget crap, at least temporarily. However, I come off as too creepy, and this has killed most of my tries with girls in the past. I have an EXTREMELY strange personality, and I have a hard time relating to people.

 

[typical]

No you think your weird cause your listening to the crap others are telling you, stop listening to their negative comments and listen to yourself for once, you like music and weights wow your more like me and I'm normal (I think)

And whats strange about you (I have a purplish tongue which is weird but it never stopped me)

People tell you your weird cause they might envy you in some small way, you feel your strange so what everyones different if others cant handle that F them.

p.s hit me up on pm if you want more help

 

[bossdog]

sit back and think about who you are. then write down your goals. make a 1 year goal. a 5 year goal. and a 10 year goal.

then start laying out a plan to achieve those goals.

Untill then you will be lost and looking to other people to make you feel good about yourself.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

I have to say, this site has amazing dating advice, and whenever I don't care for the girl, I don't get hurt. The "pain" that I feel usually comes when I "fall in love", or at least think that i am in love, and I find it EXTREMELY difficult seperate attatchment and "falling in love". The conclusion I have so far is to not fall in love, but this doesn't feel completely right.

 

[Bvbidd]

I know chicks don't like supersmart nerdy guys but I think your too far on the opposite side of that meter to get any sex.

You could always work on that and talk like a sentient human being.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Bvbidd, are you saying I'm too smart or too stupid?. I was just thinking "what if girls feel threatened by my brain" and then you post that, I will totally admit that I am indeed in the geek end of the "spectrum". I've been trying to lower my intelligence by listening to rap and learning ebonics, and also I will try to dress more gangster.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Let me tell you how "sentient" i am. The girl I had a short relationship with in the past, I said some things to hurt her, and recently, to atone, I bought her a $300 gift. Seems sentient enough to me.

 

[itishe]

ReallyFL there's a difference between being smart and being socially smart.

I know I'll have more friends and build more rapport if I'm calm, relaxed, keep my "deep insightful" views to myself. I could argue and try to put myself above others intellectually with people I know but I know that would get me no where and that's where I don't want to be.

I'm not into today's **** (rap, wearing aviators and thinking you're unique, etc.) so therefore I find I have my best luck with girls, etc. when I keep myself quite and let them blab their mouths off.

Let your intelligence shine when you're looking for a job or another area where it's highly valued.

Keep your social intelligence ready everywhere.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Maybe "the one girl" that's right for me is somewhere in the world, but because so many girls have screwed me over in the past, the next girl I sleep with (maybe in 20 years haha), I will tell her to go away and that I got what i wanted from her (sex).

 

[rrrrr]

My dad is probably the most DJ person I know in my family, the only time he was down was after a 13 year marriage ended. A few months later he had all kinds of women on the side. One time he was telling me how he just got in his car and drove, and asked if I ever do that. I said no. He said he does it all the time. I'd say over the last 2 years I started doing that, what I'll do is drive to a nearby town 2 hours away and spend a night in the hotel there, and think about SOLUTIONS to my problems on the way there, and maybe go to a restaurant or bar, go to bed, wake up late, and come back the next day. I was surprised at how better I felt last time I did this.

 

[rrrrr]

Bvbidd, are you saying I'm too smart or too stupid?. I was just thinking "what if girls feel threatened by my brain" and then you post that, I will totally admit that I am indeed in the geek end of the "spectrum". I've been trying to lower my intelligence by listening to rap and learning ebonics, and also I will try to dress more gangster.

I thought this was a problem until I changed my scene. Tonight I'm going to a bar known for heavy metal, brings the rocker girls out. No gangsta crap there.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

I find that has been helpful in the past, and I will certainly do it soon, sounds like a wonderful idea. Joyriding in the rural areas is the best. About my own father, I wouldn't call him a DJ, but... well but nothing. haha. he is no DJ at all. but my mom/dad's marriage works because my mom is old-fashioned. maybe relationships are less stable when you have a feminist b*tch. my two cents.

 

[Jackman]

I've been trying to lower my intelligence by listening to rap and learning ebonics, and also I will try to dress more gangster.

Woah. Just stop doing sh-t like that. Nothing repels women (or anyone else for that matter) more than someone that is confused over their own identity.

Look, here's the jist of it all: You're grabbing for straws and everyone can see it. You're probably so stressed out about fitting in or getting laid that you're actually driving people away with it the harder you try to overcome it. You're digging yourself into a hole, man.

Don't keep starting over with a clean slate and reinventing yourself because something might not be working out for you, because nothing is going to work out right away. Nothing. You've got to decide who you are and stick to that. Then improve yourself from there. So you're a geekish sort. Fine. Be that. But aim to eventually be the coolest geek on the block.