My friend's ex-girl...

[Iamnotacrook]

This isn't for me. Check it out.

My friend recently split up with his girlfriend of two years. He's not over her. It will be quite a while before he's comfortable dating other women.

What's pissing him off, is the fact that his ex-girlfriend already has a new "boyfriend" and we're talking days later. My boy said some pretty pathetic AFC ****... ie: "Love her with all my heart" "she never knew how I felt" etc... even showed me the marks on his hand where he stabbed himself with a letter opener.

This new guy is a short little Mexican guy, but I think he's got game! I have no idea why she chose this guy over my friend, but she's insane.

Basically what I'm going to do here is make fun of this new boyfriend until she feels like an idiot for dating him. Relationship won't work anyway, no worries. I just gotta play it smooth...

Anyway... he's really short... read: stumpy. He was at Swing Night(my friend is the king of Aerial moves) and didn't dance the whole night. I mean... this guy didn't even dance with her... wtf... basically afraid to learn, too... pathetic...

but yeah, think up some hilarious, effortless disses, and I'll be back with more weak spots as the plot thickens.

Yeah yeah, I'm being mean... I don't care, this is my first girlfriend-stealing project... I actually might be interested in pursuing something with her... of course, I'd be an idiot to become attached, but still, I wouldn't rule out some mild flirting... she'd have to be single, though, I'm not gonna be someone's boyfriend unless I see some true potential. Obviously, girls who have to always be in relationships don't have much real potential.

she posted this where it could be seen by my friend and myself:

"Hey i was at this past swing!!!
it was pretty fun. i won the comp that was SWEET!!!]anywho yeah i went with my new b/f and dude it was great!!"

Yeah, she WON the competition with another guy... her "boyfriend" just sat there, left in the middle of the comp, came back, and I'm the one to tell him they won.

come on...

Now is where I reply... I might have to handle this one on my own if I want to take care of it sooner rather than later. I need an EFFORTLESS response, though, so we'll see.

Help me if you give a ish.

EDIT:

Response to that is...

"You left *DJ* for Tommy Chong's midget cousin. You're insane."

 

[NewMan]

I have no idea why she chose this guy over my friend, but she's insane.

perhaps because your buddy is phsyco

My boy said some pretty pathetic AFC ****... ie: "Love her with all my heart" "she never knew how I felt" etc... even showed me the marks on his hand where he stabbed himself with a letter opener.

Now he sounds like a guy I want to hang with.

Basically what I'm going to do here is make fun of this new boyfriend until she feels like an idiot for dating him. Relationship won't work anyway, no worries. I just gotta play it smooth...

your about as smooth as the Himalaya's. You realise the more fun you make of him the more she will be with him.

this is my first girlfriend-stealing project... I actually might be interested in pursuing something with her... of course, I'd be an idiot to become attached, but still, I wouldn't rule out some mild flirting... she'd have to be single, though, I'm not gonna be someone's boyfriend unless I see some true potential. Obviously, girls who have to always be in relationships don't have much real potential.

Some freind you are.

 

[Iamnotacrook]

:crackup: I find that to be pretty much outcome-dependent... the only person I'm not doing a favor is the new boyfriend... and we don't really care about him, do we? Of course not. He's just a mark. Okay, I'll think about it.