my friend is confident in everything he does - babe magnet

[Snowman23]

hes one of my close friends, and he can get pretty much any girl he wants. I've been observing him for a while, and I noticed something. He doesn't care how other people perceive him. We all went out last weekend to the mall and there was no place to park. Me and my other friend are circling the lot and notice he's already walking to the doors. After we find a place to park and walk our way up we notice his car in the first row handicap spot. The chicks in our group were laughing, and I said "Why did you park there?" He said "It was closer."

Then at work on friday we were in the lunchroom at work and there was a bunch of people in there. Toxicity by SOAD was on the radio and he walks in and sings "Conveersion software version 7.0" and lifts his hands up like he's in the music video. Then acts like nothing happened. He also has a scruffy chin beard. Are all these things he's doing attractive to women?

In a way I wish I had his mindset. He can talk to anybody, he's not intimidated by any girl. He's just goofy and a lot of fun to be around.

 

[The Deacon]

Your friend is successful at doing this because he is congruent with the behavior your described and he is non-approval seeking. If, for a second, he stopped being loud and extraverted, people would have immediately labeled him "incongruent" and he would have been tossed off as another loser. I would only emulate him if you understand that principle.

 

[Snowman23]

I don't follow. Care to elaborate?

 

[The Deacon]

All rightey.

When you are approaching a woman and being suave (or trying to be suave), a woman will scan you for any signs of incongruency. You see, any guy with a little balls can come up to a woman and say something suave. What really seals the deal is if he's congruent with the suave behavior he just did.

So, if you do an approach with a woman, let's say, in a James Bond sort of way, here's what it would look like hypothetically:

You: Hello.
She: Hi, what's your name?
You: The names Smith. George Smith.
(then she'll scan for congruence. She may even give you normal conversation during the scan.)

Sometimes guys can do cheesy sh!t like that James Bond thing and get away with it, but only if they're congruent. The girl will test your congruence by checking for strong body language (especially eye contact), sh!t testing you (like turning her back against you), or even sometimes flirting with you and seeing if you have the balls to handle her advances. If you pass the congruency test, you've demonstrated higher value.

Non-approval seeking is a little different from congruence. Having non-approval seeking behaviors is another demonstration of higher value. If you want a nice extensive article on being non-approval seeking, look at this article below:

http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/specifics/25-points.html

Basically, you'll learn as you get better at this pick-up stuff that women respond better to a guy who doesn't believe that he is below the woman in value than a guy who believes he is. This is a simple concept to understand but extremely difficult to grasp. It'll take you months of hard work to get it down.

 

[war-hero]

Quit linking to scam sites.

 

[rrrrr]

He's right though. Let's put it this way: take a weak guy, a pushover. Let's say he discovered sosuave so he tries to imulate it. It won't take long for his true personality to come out. So if you are a weak person, a pushover, the goal should be to learn how to stand up for yourself, be more assertive, and less shy. This person you speak of is the genuine article and that's why he gets laid. He's not a weak person who memorized neg hit lines and "****y/funny" routine. His confidence/personality is abundant and obvious. It's best just to hang out with people like this and work on your inner self. Then you wll see some action.

 

[naes420]

hes one of my close friends, and he can get pretty much any girl he wants. I've been observing him for a while, and I noticed something. He doesn't care how other people perceive him. We all went out last weekend to the mall and there was no place to park. Me and my other friend are circling the lot and notice he's already walking to the doors. After we find a place to park and walk our way up we notice his car in the first row handicap spot. The chicks in our group were laughing, and I said "Why did you park there?" He said "It was closer."

Then at work on friday we were in the lunchroom at work and there was a bunch of people in there. Toxicity by SOAD was on the radio and he walks in and sings "Conveersion software version 7.0" and lifts his hands up like he's in the music video. Then acts like nothing happened. He also has a scruffy chin beard. Are all these things he's doing attractive to women?

In a way I wish I had his mindset. He can talk to anybody, he's not intimidated by any girl. He's just goofy and a lot of fun to be around.

He sounds exactly like me

 

[nando]

good info here

 

[Kaim Argonar]

But to a certain extent, if his physical appearance doesn't back up his flamboyant, assured attitude, people are just going to get pissed off at his mannerisms and his overbearing pride, and he'll come off as a douchebag or a creep that no one will want anything to do with no matter how confident he can be.

 

[slaog]

So basically being congruent means that the person is being his/her natural self and not acting?

 

[DJVladdy]

Your friend is an idiot. Even i wouldn't do something as stupid as leaving a car in a handicap space for a long time, in a full, busy parking lot. It's saying "please tow my car away and have my 200$". Moron. Yes, these things are very attractive, and will get you any female! why dont you try it for yourself - works as a charm, I promise!!

 

[Alphamale1821]

haha Me and your friend OP would have a good time hanging out, He's my fuucking twin LMAO. Me and my buddy went to the mall the other day, and while my buddy has good game, he doens't have the confidence that i do. At the mall i had him watch and observe as i approached chicks and said the craziest **** that came to my head. I recall going into a store(hot topic) and saw a 3 set.

I then go and grab the gayest piece of clothing i can find, which so happend to be a HOT PINK bra and approached the 3 set with

Me"do you think this bra would look good on me"
Chicks: Yeah!(shock and awed) Well it's not a bra it's a bathing piece
Fluff talk don't remember
and then another part of the convo i tell them
ME:"yeah i wanted ya'lls opinion because i'm totally gay"(of course in a straight voice)
chicks: (laughing and even more shocked) no your not are you serious
Then doing a gay posture and voice "what do i not look gay to you" they laugh and fluff fluff,
Ended up # closing and invited them to a hot tub party. My buddy was in awe, laughing his ass off calling me a chick magnet.

Thier was another 2 set i entered where i asked the chicks if they wanted to come back to y studio to shoot some pictures because they looked like models. They said no and getting bored with them i asked them thier age. They said 16 and me being 19 i then decide it's time to go out with a bang. I then tell them honestly ladies I'm a porn producer and i think you 2 would look good in my next film. They are shaking thier heads like def no and backing away and i walk away laughing my ass off::crackup: I'm fuucking :crazy:

Honestly every where i go i'm making people laugh because i'm just a fun loving guy and embarrassment just isn't an emotion i have. I'm just totally unaffected by the words, actions or outcome, which in return allows me to be the extroverted person that i am. My passion in life is to be an entertainer and as long as i'm being myself it doesn't matter if others like it or alot. Haha however it just so happens that chicks love it, so I just LIVE.

 

[demonic]

See this is the attitude i really want to have, guys you think people can LEARN to be like this or is it something you just can't learn?..

 

[My Name is Nobody]

See this is the attitude i really want to have, guys you think people can LEARN to be like this or is it something you just can't learn?..

ofcourse it can be learned. If it couldn't this site wouldn't be here.

 

[Connor99]

we notice his car in the first row handicap spot. The chicks in our group were laughing,

I bet the chicks were really laughing after they came out and noticed a $250 parking ticket left on his car LOL.