My friend has sex with his wife 1-2 times a month, is this normal even for marriage?

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

He said it is completely fine because they both work and she has trouble sleeping/frequent headaches.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

He said it is completely fine because they both work and she has trouble sleeping/frequent headaches.

Sounds about right, for marriage.

And from the sound of things, it is right, for them.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Absolutely not, isn’t he sexually frustrated? I’m in my 50’s and have sex probably 40-60 times a month.

But depends on his drive I guess.

Dead bedroom relationships are clinically defined as those in which a couple has sex fewer than six times a year, Holly Richmond, PhD, a sex therapist in New York.

I seem to recall it used to be 12, either way it’s awfully close. Does she or he masturbate? I know the poor chap does…she probably does too but lies about it.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's OVER for OnlyBiWeeklyWifePoonCels.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

HERE, fixed it for ya:

It's OVER for

LESSThanBiWeeklyWifePoonCels.

 

[logicallefty]

I'm good with twice a week anymore. One or two times a month, IMO that's pushing it...

 

[devilkingx2]

It's normal if you pick the wrong woman/screen poorly.

I had a hypothesis that if you wife up a woman who has sex with you fast/easy (0-2 dates*) that's how you get cheated on.

But if you wife up a woman who makes it hard/slow (more than 3-4 dates*) that's how you get a dead bedroom.

It's like a pick your poison sort of thing, you're at risk of one or the other.

*Those numbers are theoretical estimates.

 

[user252009]

Probably not uncommon; even with my last LTR it came down to once every 1-2 weeks (we'd only see each other on the weekends), it's been a natural thing with LTR's for me somehow. I masturbated in addition to that, of course (wanting to fvck other women). Some say that it's biological as once a couple has gone steady, the biology is signaling that they've kinda formed a family and that the biological necessity to procreate has done its job.

 

[SW15]

He said it is completely fine because they both work and she has trouble sleeping/frequent headaches.

How long have they been married? That's the first question.

Everyone is having less sex, including married people. Link below with some quotes and a 2nd additional link. While these numbers are true in the USA, there have also been numbers coming out of Western Europe showing similar trends there.

Americans less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever

On this day when Cupid is supposed to strike us with his arrow, there are several reasons to think “love” isn’t what it once was in the United States, for better or for worse.

www.mercurynews.com

"Last year’s (2021) survey was also the first time that the percentage of Americans who had sex once a month or less topped 50%. In 1989, 35% of American adults had sex once a month or less."

Twenty-six percent of Americans ages 18 and up didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the 2021 General Social Survey.

There’s also been a higher increase in unmarried men living alone (10 points) than women (7 points) compared to the 1990 baseline.

This past year (2021), 30% of adults ages 25 to 54 (the same age bracket as the Pew study) indicated that they did not have a steady partner. In 1986, it was 20%

Among married couples under the age of 60, 26% had sex once a month or less in 2021. In 1989, it was 12%. The 1980s really were better for sex.

People Have Been Having Less Sex--whether They're Teenagers or 40-Somethings

Among the young, social media, gaming and “rough sex” may contribute to this trend

www.scientificamerican.com

The last quote that I bolded and itaclized is showing that marriage is becoming less of a viable choice for regular sex. The first 2-3 years of so of a marriage have a lot of sex in them, but after that, the sex seems to go away. Nevertheless, some incels would look at married sex life and consider it a good deal, especially since they are getting no sex at all. To an incel, 1-2 times a month sex in a marriage would be a dramatic improvement for them. It's still a crappy deal though.

Wives Withholding Sex From Their Husbands - Alpha Male 2.0

Last week many of you emailed and Facebooked me links to a sad yet educational event on Reddit. If you don’t already know what I’m talking about, a husband created a spreadsheet tracking all the times he asked his wife for sex, notating when she...

alphamale20.com

I'm good with twice a week anymore. One or two times a month, IMO that's pushing it...

Sex on 2 days per week is a decent baseline average in an extended relationship. For me, if the sex drops below 2 days a week on average, it's not worth keeping the relationship.

 

[pipeman84]

From my perspective, the frequency and quality of sex in a marriage are markers for the health of that relationship just like frequency and quality of workouts are markers for the health of a person.
Now you tell me, does a guy who has 1-2 workouts/month sounds like someone who really makes the most of his gym membership?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I’m in my 50’s and have sex probably 40-60 times a month.

That´s great bro! Most days my sex drive is satisfied with once a day.

 

[Hal9000]

Totally normal unfortunately and possibly even on the high side for many.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Who the fvck are y'all marrying lmao

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

That´s great bro! Most days my sex drive is satisfied with once a day.

Yeah it varies, but hey I love the act. Call it validation call it whatever- I find a way to fit it in, so to speak. Doubt I’ll slow down ever - as I said to the gal I was pummeling yesterday “if I die right now, feeling the way this does, I’d be ok with it”.

Works for me. Frankly hope I’ll slow down a little - just a bit - it’s hard on a partner for the most part, which is why I spin. I’d rather not.

 

[2Rocky]

That would have been about what my marriage was in the final 5 years. Then 2 years after the Divorce she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. That I think explained quite a bit of it.

There is a lot of reasons for couples who have been together longer than single to have the sex drive diminish. But I think if we looked at the average single guy in his 30's without a girlfriend and not having luck in the dating market, he might be doing marginally better...


https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/scientists-reveal-how-often-normal-16222670

According to the report, people between 18 and 29 are having the most sex, with an average of 112 sex sessions per year, or twice a week.

30 to 39 year olds have sex around 86 times per year, which averages out at 1.6 times a week (we're not really sure what 0.6 sex entails...)

Things go slightly downhill from here. Those in the 40 to 49 age group manage to have sex only 69 times per year.

How Often Do Couples Have Sex?

Many factors can affect sex frequency including age and relationship status. Learn more about this and how often couples are having sex on average.

www.forhims.com

According to the data, people with no steady partner had sex the least, with the average single person having sex approximately 33 times per year.

In comparison, unmarried people who live with their sexual partner had sex the most frequently, clocking in an average of 86 times per year.

People who lived separately from their partner had slightly less sex, with an average of just under 75 times per year.

Interestingly, married people had slightly less sex than unmarried people, with an average of 50 sex acts per year for people who are married and living togethe

 

[MatureDJ]

Americans less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever

On this day when Cupid is supposed to strike us with his arrow, there are several reasons to think “love” isn’t what it once was in the United States, for better or for worse.

www.mercurynews.com

"Last year’s (2021) survey was also the first time that the percentage of Americans who had sex once a month or less topped 50%. In 1989, 35% of American adults had sex once a month or less."

Twenty-six percent of Americans ages 18 and up didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the 2021 General Social Survey.

There’s also been a higher increase in unmarried men living alone (10 points) than women (7 points) compared to the 1990 baseline.

This past year (2021), 30% of adults ages 25 to 54 (the same age bracket as the Pew study) indicated that they did not have a steady partner. In 1986, it was 20%

Among married couples under the age of 60, 26% had sex once a month or less in 2021. In 1989, it was 12%. The 1980s really were better for sex.

It's OVER for AmeriCels.

 

[Divorced w 3]

It’s terrible - but not unlikely

 

[2Rocky]

I'm curious if women obsess over the number of times/number of people they have sex as much as guys do....

I'll admit when I went from a dead bedroom to a healthy sex life it was fun keeping tally but when I realized I wasn't going to win a MVP or get an end of the year bonus, I just enjoyed it and quit tracking stats.

Gotta take it one game, one inning. one pitch at a time.... you know who tracks stats? the folks who aren't out there on the field making plays...

 

[sangheilios]

This is probably far more common than you realize. In fact, I'd add that many marriages are often quite sexless, especially as the years go by. I'm not entirely sure why this is but I think after a period of time most people grow bored of longer term relationships and they just lose interest, this goes for both men and women.

 

[KingTurbo]

If he's in her "frame" then yes. I know this from experience. Average men loose sex as a consequence of being in her frame.
It's call Beta by 1,000 Concessions.