"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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My first post, advice needed.

helios820

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Hello all, just wanted to say first this forum is great.

Now my issue - Im a 23 yr old living in manhattan, and recent graduate. I have a good job, but friends are pretty scarce here. Not to mention women here have a defense system around their hearts like barb wire here - its not easy!

Anyway, now that you have my background I'll get to the point. I live with two girls, both acquantances from college. We all decided to live together (rent is not cheap here people). One of these girls has a bunch of her friends sleep here over the weekend.

I end up hooking up with one of the girls that visited, and I am elated bc I had a crush on this girl for two years - I just never worked up the balls to talk to her. Gorgeous girl, she makes me quiver, yes pathetic.

This is where things gets kinda crappy. I didnt get her number, I dont know why - I got her screenname. My only defense in doing this is that she was scrolling through my buddy list, so i said put it in.

I ended up getting her number from her sister. I called tonight, left a voicemail just saying call back. And I IMed her tonight. Here's the relevant portion of the convo that ensued.

helios: but i wanted to say i had a good time with you friday nite, and i would def like to see you again

her: haha thanks yeah it was really fun

her: we will definitely call next time we are comin in

helios: no doubt. alright i gotta run, ill talk to you later

her: k have fun watchin your shows

her: thanks for callin, talk to you later

helios: alright babe

So...I didnt get a good vibe from this. No real reciprocity. she said she had fun, but doesnt really say she plans on seeing me - only if her and her friends come in again.

Is this doomed? or should I continue talking to her? frankly I feel like it would be a waste of time, but I would like to hear other guy's opinions on this.

Thanks all.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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You have made your interest known - now she knows.

It would have been better if you actually asked her to do an activity right away so that you can measure her interest.

It seems she gave a lukewarm response to you - so you shouldn't call her or message her again - wait until you see her again at your place to gauge her comfort level with you - when she is there try to isolate her - seperate her from the group.
 

helios820

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Last Man Standing said:
You have made your interest known - now she knows.

It would have been better if you actually asked her to do an activity right away so that you can measure her interest.

It seems she gave a lukewarm response to you - so you shouldn't call her or message her again - wait until you see her again at your place to gauge her comfort level with you - when she is there try to isolate her - seperate her from the group.
Thanks man - I thought the same. So I guess, its wait and see at this point.
 

SamePendo

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Don't go round the idea of going out with her, ask her out straight forward. Yes, it's hard, but you'll get used to it. Dont worry. Ask her out straight out, and come and tell us how it went.
 
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