My first FWB: sticking points

[OnTheWayUp]

Hi guys,

So, 3 months down the line from dicovering PUA material, I've gone from a guy who had never really been out with a girl before to a guy who goes out with different girls all the time. This is a very good thing- but I want to progress further...

Although the girls I've been out with would be stunned to know it, I'm still a virgin. This needs to change. Immediately. I'm progressing nicely with one of my girls atm, let's call her HB7. She's alright looking, very average face but good body, and she's 22 (I'm 20). I'm aware she's dating at least one other guy atm, and she says (and from what I've seen this is true) that she has more guys friends than female friends. She does very little fluff talk, so the vast majority of our conversations involve innuendo, and she talks about keeping our relationship, such as it is, a secret. This doesn't exactly make her particularly good LTR material, but as a FWB/ pump and dump I think she has a lot of promise.

I've had her back in my room twice now. Once was after a party- I led her by my hand back to mine and we made out/ groped/ dry humped for the best part of two hours. I tried to progress beyond feeling her breasts through her shirt, but she wasn't having any of it. The second time was yesterday evening. I've just recovered from a nasty illness, and was telling a group of friends how pleased I was to be well again so that I could "fill my evenings with fun." She seemed intrigued, dropped a hint about inviting herself here, and took the initiative to text me about meeting up in a bar beforehand. All signs of a high IL, I think. This time I managed to get her top off, but couldn't get any further.

There's no way I could get oneitis for this girl. I had it BAD for the first girl I kissed back in March, but back then I wasn't dating any other girls. I'm not going to let myself go that way again. These days, I have enough female interest to ensure I retain my sanity. In other words, I feel this girl is potentially a very good candidate for losing my virginity with, but the questions I'm about to ask could easily relate to one of the other girls I'm dating.

My questions are as follows:

1) How do I progress what I have with this girl into a full-blown friends with benefits situation? Currently my approach is taking things very slow and trying to do a little bit more physically every time, ie remaining patient whilst seeing other girls.

2) Are there any other good reasons for her to come over to my room which might placate the "plausible deniability" side of her brain other than "let's watch a film?" The latter worked very well yesterday. Having just been ill I didn't want to go out, so counter-offered her proposal about the bar with a film that we've talked about before. Is there anything else though?

To those with multiple FWBs:

3) How often do you meet up with your FWBs?

4) How often do you go to her place and she go to yours? Or is there another location where you meet up?

5) To what extent do your FWBs know of each other's existence? I've hinted that I'm dating other girls (HB7 asked), but I was very vague and gave no real details.




Thanks for reading. Constructive criticism is welcome.

OnTheWayUp

 

[nightcrawler]

get to know her better and she'll probably put out. You're also going to have to be more aggressive....tell her "on no don't tell me the nymph has gotten her fix already!" and **** like that while you guys make out etc

 

[iliketennis]

agree with 'be more aggressive'

 

[OnTheWayUp]

'be more aggressive'

Could you guys break this down and give more specific advice? Remember that this is the furthest I've been with a girl. I thought I was being ridiculously aggressive actually: she said "I have to go" and "no" maybe 20 times in 3 hours, and every time I either physically held her down or started kissing her so that she would stop talking. Every item of clothing I got off her was a physical struggle with me pulling against her saying no the whole time!

Anyone want to comment on some of the other questions in the OP?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Anyone? There's so much good stuff on this site about inner game, surely someone must have a few observations about translating good inner game to multiple sexual relationships?

 

[Kenny Powers]

Like you I've also only been doing PUA and DJ stuff for like 2 months so im not the best resource but from what you've described it seems she likes being chased. She has to leave but you use intimacy to keep her, but 20 min later she's doing the same thing and this continues for a while.

Its good that your being alpha and physically stopping her from leaving, obviously without taking it too far and beyond playfulness. I was watching the james bond marathon this weekend and he does a lot of dominant stuff like this and I told my myself i would try it.

That being said you def. need to do some push/pull! I'm not great at this but what I've done has been really effective. I've mentioned before a recent success I had in which I told a sure thing who texted me at 2am to see what i was up to, that I was "tired and going to bed". After being hit on by AFCs all night this made her crazy for me.

It sounds like your girl really likes how into her you are, but is being a tease so she can control you and get more attention from you. If you take this attention away suddenly she will go crazy and be all over you. Next time you get the opportunity blow off hooking up with her. Push/pull with this girl should work really well. But then again im a newbie so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Let us know how it goes

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Cheers for that advice, Kenny. I'll give push/ pull a try. By the way, by push/ pull, do you just mean simple things like declining her invitations to hang out (like you did with great success), or are there other moves I could pull?

For example, I was thinking of maybe pretending to buy into her "I have to go" frame next time she's in my room (knowing full well that she wants me but doesn't want to appear slutty). I thought I might let her leave and hint that I'm going to phone another girl to finish me off. Or maybe next time we're making out, I'll make no attempt to escalate at all, pretending to honour her "let's not go beyond making out" frame- I reckon that would drive her crazy. What do you think?

Any perspectives from people with experience with FWBs on any of the specific questions in the OP?

Looking forward to gaming some other girls (including the girl from this thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179180) at my housemate's birthday party tonight! The abundance mentality is so much fun...

 

[HolyG]

It's called a freezeout - When she says no, jump off her and turn off the TV or something. Ignore her

 

[Kenny Powers]

yeah exactly, but instead of letting her pull away you should be the one pulling away. Next time your making out be really into it then suddenly not. Try to create a lot of sexual tension, take it slow and make her come to you. You want to escalate but then pull back. A lot of guys talk about taking two steps forward and one step back. Again im new to the game and only 20 so I can't tell you exactly how to do this but eventually you will get the hang of it.

This post is amazing and i re-read it a lot: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18392

Right now she seems to be the one in control cause you are too into her. Try being more laid back and care less about her. You don't need to say your with another girl, be mysterious and make her wonder. Be careful though not to piss her off by pulling too much. Find a healthy balance and go from there. Always remember that your young and there will be other girls.

Good luck!

 

[Diaforetikos]

I'm gonna just feed off of what Kenny Powers said and just tell you to build that sexual tension. I love getting a girl hot, then not giving her what she wants. It drives them crazy. They'll literally pull at your clothes trying to get what you won't give.

Even basic kissing has this potential. I make out with her, then hold my mouth open and just touch my lips to hers. She'll wanna keep going, but you won't give in. I even fake it as is I want to continue, but I stop myself and give the illusion that the make out session will continue. Now don't get me wrong, I don't stop actually making out with her. I just pause long enough for her want to catch up with what we are doing. She'll pull at you for more.

I also like to escalate to the breasts. Massage a girls nipples correctly and she'll freak. But remember to make her want more. Pause, hold out, but not for too long. Then escalate.

In the end, this all comes down to mistakes and experience. You gotta put in the time to actually see results. These are just some tips. Try 'em out. If they aren't for you, drop 'em and try other things. Best luck to you mate!