my first cold approach report

[bcollarmechanic]

well i did my first cold approach yesterday, i was in Philadelphia as i usually am during the weekend for work

i was walking around one of the campuses, classes haven't started yet so it was pretty quiet with not a lot of people around

i missed 3 perfect approachable girls, by this i mean they weren't in a rush, they weren't on the phone or listening to music, each time i wanted to talk to them i b1tched out and made stupid excuses in my head like, "she didn't look or smile at me" "shes a little too tall for me (im on the shorter side for a guys average height)" stuff like this

finally i manned up, i told myself i wont leave Philly until i do a cold approach

so i walked around for about 20 minuets and spotted another perfect CA, a cute Asian girl walking by herself with a shopping bag, shes not on the phone or listening to music and shes just strolling around

i got myself pumped and moved in

me- hi do you go to (insert campus here)

her- yes i do

me- do you know where this building is?

her- yes i do- she gives me directions to a building that i already know where it is lol but i act like im confused still

me- i think i might get lost im new here, are you busy or can you show me where it is?

her- its really easy to find- gives me directions again

me- ok thank you, by they way im bcollar (i shake her hand)

her- im *******

me- how long have you been going to school here

her- its my 3rd year out of a 5 year program

me- i see well like i said im new here i dont really know many people and im trying to meet new people so what do you say to giving me your number so can call you some time (i can tell by her surprised look that shes completely thrown off by this like it came out of no where lol)

her- well do you have a FB? you can add me and we can chat.

me- no im sorry i dont have a FB (i do but i dont have any friends or photos, i only use it to see girls ive met interests and stuff)

her- its no problem well my number is ************

so i type her number in my phone and call her for a few seconds, then i said

me- great so ill call you sometime and we can go out for a cup of coffee

her- OK (smiles and walks away)

now i know my game is weak but im new at this, and im more than sure i friend zoned myself lol, but i feel great, i was so much more confident i wanted to do 10 more approaches and i probably would have if i didnt have to leave

little background though- i looked her number up on FB and found her profile so its a real number, but its also listed shes in a relationship with some guy, theres a lot of pics of them together and stuff

sounds like a friend zone right? I probably wont even message her because of this but im still happy i finally did a cold approach

 

[jurry]

Good job man. Getting over the fear of approach is the hardest part.

I dont like that fake approach of asking for directions or some other contrived issue because you're not being real, and so you caught her off guard asking her for her number, it didnt follow naturally. Be direct, tell her what you want, you dont need that half ass "pretend im talking to you for some other reason" b.s.

If you dont want to be that direct, then maybe start with some observation or teasing funny line and build a bit of rapport first before asking her out.

That being said, she did give you her number and agree to meet up.. So fvck the guy in facebook pics, who know whats happening with them. Maybe ull hit it off and maybe shes got cute friends.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

Good job man. Getting over the fear of approach is the hardest part.

I dont like that fake approach of asking for directions or some other contrived issue because you're not being real, and so you caught her off guard asking her for her number, it didnt follow naturally. Be direct, tell her what you want, you dont need that half ass "pretend im talking to you for some other reason" b.s.

If you dont want to be that direct, then maybe start with some observation or teasing funny line and build a bit of rapport first before asking her out.

That being said, she did give you her number and agree to meet up.. So fvck the guy in facebook pics, who know whats happening with them. Maybe ull hit it off and maybe shes got cute friends.

thanks for the advice man! youre right i probably will message her and invite her out for coffee, even if im in the friend zone whatever, i need more friends that are girls, helps build status

a line i originally wanted to use was something like this "hey i was going to ask you for directions to some random place because youre really cute and i wanted a reason to talk to you, but now that seems pretty stupid" laugh and then say "anyways im bcollar" and shake her hand or something

do you think this is a better opener for cold approaches?

 

[jurry]

Yea definitely! Honesty and humor is key. One of my challenges is not so much the initial approach but tensing up and running out of things to say because im not an outgoing guy. So i try to remember to relax and stop worrying about getting a number or bringing out a certain outcome and just enjoy it. That silence or initial awkwardness can actually be very powerful if you show her that you are comfortable and not afraid of it, make strong eye contact/body language and see what happens.

 

[DragonBlood]

finally i manned up, i told myself i wont leave Philly until i do a cold approach

This is the key to everything, I told myself last week I wasnt leaving campus without at least 3 numbers (it was busy). Its a great technique to get your gears in motion.

Congrats btw looks like things went a lot better than when I started out!


My advice is just to keep things simple and make a joke of everything. 9/10 girls will give you their number if you ask for it, so its hard to tell the difference between a polite girl and an interested girl. Keep at it!

 

[backbreaker]

great job man

 

[nyc123]

good job as well on your first approach. every approach is a learning experience. and you will become wiser. your future approaches will be smooth. you'll know better what to say. you'll know better how to react. And you'll feel less anxiety. Keep it up.

 

[sageproductReturns]

You'll always find yourself coming up with excuses not to approach the girl. They are ALWAYS 100% bullsh!t.

That said, don't beat yourself up when you chicken out of an approach. It's part of the game. You make the approach, you win.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

well i didnt want to start a new thread but i did my second approach today and it wasnt as pleasant as the first lol

i was walking towards my job after getting a coffee and i see a girl i recognize, she works at the local dunkin donuts, i always thought she was kinda cute and i thought to myself this is the perfect time to talk to her

as were walking past i stop smile and say

me-hi you work at the dd right?

her-yes i do (still walking away)

me-whats your name

her- t***** (still walking away)

me-ok bye

she didnt stop at all just keep walking away, didnt even turn her head when i talked

i was pretty surprised by this, she would always smile at me when she was working at the d and d, but i guess its a clear indication shes not interested when she continues to walk away lol

hopefully i can get my confidence back up to try another one soon

 

[jurry]

Fvck her not your problem. One good piece of advice I heard i think from one of the RSD guys is just bring good energy to the approach and dont be affected by hers. If she doesnt look at u or acts like a total bîtch then that is her problem you know? She is the one having to go thru the day with the miserable attitude. You keep your cool, you were the one with the balls and the smile.. How one girl reacts to that is pretty irrelevant, you are the man, and you KNOW youre the man regardless of the outcome.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

Fvck her not your problem. One good piece of advice I heard i think from one of the RSD guys is just bring good energy to the approach and dont be affected by hers. If she doesnt look at u or acts like a total bîtch then that is her problem you know? She is the one having to go thru the day with the miserable attitude. You keep your cool, you were the one with the balls and the smile.. How one girl reacts to that is pretty irrelevant, you are the man, and you KNOW youre the man regardless of the outcome.

thanks for the great advice, i always keep forgetting depressed and miserable people will try to bring you down with them, im not going to let her b1tchy/miserable attitude make my day go sour

also "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to jurry again."