Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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My experiences of a Narcissist

phil2015

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My experiences with a Narcissits;

As for my recent posts, I’ve recently split from an ex after 8 months and I’ve
learnt of the numerous red flags that Narcissism carries. Upon doing some
research I’ve realised that my ex was in fact a full blown Narc and I’ve decided
to post these here for your observations. I’ve never met or dealt with a woman
like this before and feel I should make others aware of some typical behavioural
traits, as listed before.

1) Argumentative - She would literally argue over nothing, and the slightest
word/action/look out of place would result in a full blown row. She could go
from calm and placid, to raging with anger in 1 second flat, such was her mood swings.
After a while, I felt like I was walking on eggshells and was playing conversational
Minesweeper! She even confessed that she had started arguments with her exes to
‘brighten things up’ but to my shame I overlooked this red flag.

2) Unable to accept responsibility – This girl would often reject responsibilities over
anything and everything, especially her own actions. Her moods-wings, aggression and
outbursts were due to me ‘winding her up’. She would often flip things around and blame
me for any problems which arose. She even tried to make me go to counselling rather than
accept that she had issues, and stated that everything going wrong between us was my fault.

3) Double standards – Our relationship was full of times where she would set down a rule
And expect me to abide by it, only for her to break the same rule later on. She attempted to set
me a rule in MY OWN HOUSE that I wasn’t able to take my phone into the toilet, as she was convinced
I was texting someone else in there. It was however okay for her to take hers in there whenever she
wanted.

4) Lack of a Past – My ex had no past contacts. The reason being, anyone from work, her exes, life had long since discarded her and decided they wanted nothing to do with her.

5) Constantly falling out with people - As with me, her relationships with people at work were especially turbulent and she was constantly getting into verbal fights and fallouts with her boss and colleagues.

6) Projection – She used to project everything that was going wrong onto me, and she would mentally imagine and envisage things going wrong. It was like she was unable to accept reality and didn’t know the basic fundamentals of how to act as a person. One day I was driving when she rang up screaming down the phone, and demanding that I came to her place. Upon arrival, she had found a pink hair from one on my niece’s troll dolls on a hairbrush and was convinced that I had had been cheating on her with a punk girl from work. I hadn't imagined she had cheated on me until recently, when looking through our laptop search history she had searched for 'I don't regret cheating'

This was alesson hard-gained and I hope this can help others from being affected by a similar type of woman

Much Love

Phil
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Infern0

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Its a lesson that only needs to be learned once.

XI is correct in that these girls will toe the line all the time you wothold what they want (you loving them) but the minute you do, game over.

They are easy to spot after dealing with them once because they all run the exact same script.
 

phil2015

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I think whats bugging me at the minute now its over, is the thought that maybe there was something more I could've done to help/fix her/make her more comfortable

I remember every time she started arguing I would sit next to her and put my arm around her and start asking questions etc to dig it out of her. It didn't work

Her mindset was based around starting a fight, whereas mine was based around ending arguments

Couldn't help her!
 

kronreiff

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I think whats bugging me at the minute now its over, is the thought that maybe there was something more I could've done to help/fix her/make her more comfortable

I remember every time she started arguing I would sit next to her and put my arm around her and start asking questions etc to dig it out of her. It didn't work

Her mindset was based around starting a fight, whereas mine was based around ending arguments

Couldn't help her!
Obviously, most of you don't know that much about NPD women. They are not fixable. Even psychiatrists run away from these loonies. They are incapable of love, empathy and most normal feelings. They are in constant turmoil with themselves because they hate themselves. This happens due to some childhood experience or abuse that they never grew out of. Like us, they never stepped over the line into adulthood, therefore their stuck with the mentality of anywhere between a 6 to a 10 year old. Their in constant need of praise and validation. You are that object that provides what they need if you let them. That's all you are is an object that they reflect upon to create a false identity of themselves since they have no real identity.

It's all drama and BS with these women and you will never win. The best thing to do with an NPD chick is to bang her, *** all over her face and consider it a favor to her as you kick her ass out the door. Go NC forever and never look back. NEXT!
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chev.Chelios

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Sht hahaha same thing happened to me, These girls really are all the same man! its comforting to know that.
each of these crazy ex girlfriend threads that get posted just reinforces my beliefs that girls have the same software in there brains.
Dumping and NC is king baby.
 

Infern0

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I think whats bugging me at the minute now its over, is the thought that maybe there was something more I could've done to help/fix her/make her more comfortable

I remember every time she started arguing I would sit next to her and put my arm around her and start asking questions etc to dig it out of her. It didn't work

Her mindset was based around starting a fight, whereas mine was based around ending arguments

Couldn't help her!
The presence of the "narcissistic shell" makes "helping them" for all intents and purposes impossible.
 

mrgoodstuff

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The presence of the "narcissistic shell" makes "helping them" for all intents and purposes impossible.
You can't "help" them and "helping" them actually makes them worse. What you can do is cause serious and painful consequences which even they cannot spin.
 

Infern0

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what is spinning plates? like, ONS with them?
Yeah.

You can **** them and have fun with them but only so long as they are totally disposable to you. The second they sense you are attached is when they start playing games.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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soulforge

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I don't think my ex was a full blown Narc.. but defo some traights there..

Lack of empathy.. not excepting responsibility.. never truly sorry..

Looking back now.. DO NOT develop feelings for these woman..

The only way they will behave, is when your fuking them.. and not giving a chit..

These disgusting creatures deserve nothing more..
 

wifehunter

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SuckItUp

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The problem is that cluster B traits aren't binary in the sense it's not that a person is solely NPD but rather they are comorbid with many disorders and often it's difficult to tell where one disorder ends and another begins.

In your case, everything mentioned can fit into a BPD box. The points of differentiation come from certain behaviors that are unique to a specific cluster B diagnosis and often are ones that are anecdotal from multiple men having eureka moment when talking about certain behaviors.

It's an interesting discussion from a scientific viewpoint, but for victims it ultimately doesn't matter because their disorder is not your problem and all you should worry about is yourself.

In fact trying to figure out her diagnosis while seemingly cathartic can keep you enmeshed.
 
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phil2015

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As an update.....This particular girl contacted me recently over Facebook wishing me luck in life

I then rang her up and she was in tears over the phone sobbing her heart out. She asked for another chance, which I have her and instead of pursuing me she blew me off the day after by starting another argument.

I literally couldn't win with her
 

mrgoodstuff

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As an update.....This particular girl contacted me recently over Facebook wishing me luck in life

I then rang her up and she was in tears over the phone sobbing her heart out. She asked for another chance, which I have her and instead of pursuing me she blew me off the day after by starting another argument.

I literally couldn't win with her
That's what that type does
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Billtx49

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Why? Because it's irrational behavior on steroids. She wanted to see if she still had some power over you or for some other reason. Her initial statements were obviously not real, but it served her purpose.
You cant make Any sense out of a disordered woman's actions, so it's better not to waist your brainpower by trying. It will only continue to keep you in the mental fog that dealing with a cluster B produces in your mind.
You have to force yourself to mentally detach from her and her actions. An IDGAF attitude helps. Hardcore NC is mandatory after a lengthy encounter with any disordered woman to keep your sanity.
 
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