"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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My ex oneitis has reopend communication

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christz

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story of this girl, i liked her she liked me then i started to get really clingy, needy overly giving etc etc.. thinking about it makes me sick.. needless to say we ended on a good but not so good note and she kindly said.. don't call me anymore i don't even wanna be friends with you. OUCH

i still had her #, and its been about a month or two since i called i dunno after my friend left my house i took a look at the time and just all the sudden my ex oneitis popped in my head and i called her. She didn't pick up her voicemail did.

I was pissed at myself for doing it.. and i said whatever its never gonna happen again. Needless to say this afternoon she txt messeges me and was like did you just call me at 2 :30 in the morning

i basiclly said yeah, after my friend left i looked at the time and thought about you, so i called.

we traded txt's back and foward, she even told me to call her but i said i was busy. I told her where i'm working now and she's like OH now you can talk to all those hot girls you know that's what you do.

then she told me about her vacation to canadia (lol) and how ghey it was and how the only fun time she had drinkin was with me, and she didn't even get drunk.

then kinda outta nowhere i said well hey i gotta go get ready for work i'll get at you later.

she said ok c'ya later.

needless to say this puzzles me a few months ago this chick was saying don't call me. And i'm thinking just because i called she didn't have to respond but she did she willingly opened up the communication door again.

i didn't leave a voicemail so she could have easily just said fu*k this guy, and went about her day.. but she opend it up with something cheesy like

"did you just call me at 2:30 in the morning" DUHH i know when i called you.. What does this mean? Should i just call her once in a blue i Did really want to be friends with this chick after everything was all said and done. So i kinda wanna take steps to makeing that happen.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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What disturbs me is this: "she kindly said.. don't call me anymore i don't even wanna be friends with you."

Even if you were AFC, there is absolutely no reason for her to be like that. Sure she may not be attracted to you anymore for being a bit of a puss with the gifts and such....but that should put you AT LEAST in the "really nice guy who I'll never f%@" category. Why did she get angry? Are you telling the whole story?
 
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christz

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a lot of stuff happend that i'd rather not mention but needless to say there was a huge scene right in front of where she works.

that involved smokeing tires and yelling. that night she cried i could tell and she was pretty tore up about the whole thing the way it ended, we talked for about an hour about how things just went awry somehow so badly..

but she WAS lieing to me about an e/x needless to say at the end of the conversation she said, she didn't wanna speak to me anymore and that she didn't even want to be friends in the best way a person could put something like that. and she just hung up the phone on me.

didn't call her again since that day until last night.

And now this..
 
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Anaxibios

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Think carefully before reopening a oneitis. They tend to resurge in an alarming way.... trust me :)

On the other hand, you could always give her another chance, just don't read into things so much...
 
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christz

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Originally posted by Anaxibios
Think carefully before reopening a oneitis. They tend to resurge in an alarming way.... trust me :)

On the other hand, you could always give her another chance, just don't read into things so much...
Click to expand...
your right, i don't want to get sucked into a nother sick as* game. I rather just be her friend but I think as we talk more, and we hang out IF we do.. and she makes a move, i wonder how she'll take it if i give her the cold shoulder..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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christz

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i'm kinda takeing this slow with this oneitis coming back some what, i keep the conversations REALLY short, but they're eventufull conversations, smiles laughs the whole thing and then outta the blue i say.. well hey i gotta run i'll get at you later.

now i'm trying to not let feelings in the way because she played me in the past. and is still with the dude she played me with. (she lied about breaking up with him her on and off again b/f of 3 yrs)

but that's not what i'm after, i'm persueing a friendship and i have truley gotten over her so that's why i'm makeing an attempt now considering she is the one that actually opened the door again.

however people are un perdictable and i might fall victim of my own goal, and have feelings for her again. or worse she could possibly start to have feelings for me again. hopefully that won't happen but what do you guys gauge from this?
 
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