My ex of 4 1/2 months tells me she's now MARRIED.. Feeling SICK!

[A-Unit]

Re"

Why would you ever want/desire/love/care for a woman who doesn't at least want/desire/love/care for you AS MUCH or MORE THAN you want her?




A-Unit

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Francisco d'Anconia : I slept with another girl. a few times it didn't help.

You need to get laid by another girl. Switch girls as necessary.

Beyond that I suggest that you start redefining yourself since it seems that so much of yourself had been defined by your past relationship. I'm not saying that you necessarily need to change yourself, just change how you design yourself. Get some new hobbies, find some new hangouts, get some new friends, get laid by a few new women.

 

[Mikeman!]

WaterTiger: Thanks for your input/putting this into perspective...If she is infact married already, you're right, she is quite imbalanced and this was for the best.

Desdinova: That is quite the insight...I've known her to exaggerate/fib during this breakup..(telling me it will be so hard to find someone else, and that it will be tough for her when she's ready to move on ...when infact she had immediately latched onto another guy), it is a possibility you are right about her not even being married. On the one hand, she is extremely needy, always talked to me about getting me to marry her...she can't stand being alone, and therefore might be married. On the other hand, when she divorced her ex husband, she criticised him for becoming engaged to another women only a month or 2 later...which would make her a hippocrite. Whichever situation is the case, I now realize I don't want any part of it.

Sinistar/A-Unit: I suppose I am in love with the woman she USED to be, and wondering if that woman still exists inside of her.

Francisco: You're right, I need to see who I am, how I'd live without her in my life, or mind anymore.

I'm not going to send her any response. Because if she is married, she has been dishonest with me, seeing this guy in some capacity while seeing me as well...there's no other way she would get married so soon otherwise. I can't reward that behavior by congratulating her. And if in fact she's lying, again, she doesn't deserve a response.

I spent the whole day at work thinking about this and my attitude towards her has changed since I made the original post...I've seen a side to her I do not like, I am appalled/turned off...This is still VERY TOUGH for me, but keeping her disgusting behavior in mind, I'm hoping it will make things easier.

It is going to bug me though not knowing for sure if she is infact married or not. The guy DID move from Atlanta to Arkansas for her, and she did a background check on him as well to be sure this guy was who he said he was(as crazy as that is). If this guy moved all this way, I'm sure it was with the intent of marrying her. I guess there is no real way to really know...

 

[Freddy1]

"My ex of 4 1/2 months tells me she's now MARRIED.. "
Ha Ha sucker (not you. her) What did she do get married in Nevada when she was drunk? Anyone who gets marry in 4 1/2 months has rocks for brains.

Just be happy my friend that you ARNT married. There are thousnads of guys wishing they werent marry to the chain and ball. Just think of it as an opportunity to meet ALLL those nice women out there. Dont be so fixated on an ex. Get out more and enjoy life. Dont wste your time with the ex. And stop being so needy (we've all been there). Theres a hell alot of pretty girls out there in the world for you (think about it).

 

[MacAvoy]

It is going to bug me though not knowing for sure if she is infact married or not. The guy DID move from Atlanta to Arkansas for her, and she did a background check on him as well to be sure this guy was who he said he was(as crazy as that is). If this guy moved all this way, I'm sure it was with the intent of marrying her. I guess there is no real way to really know...

This is your biggest mistake! Why are you investing so much of your time and energy worrying about some dumb cvnt who didn't have any respect for you, went and married some other dude only a few months after she broke up with you. She obviously has issues if she jumps into a marriage so quickly. Why do you care if this guy moved from 5 states to be with her, or if they are or are not married? She either married him, or has some serious issues for making up such a lie.

Either way, she's not worth your time. You are only wasting your precious life by worrying about some two bit wh0re who was probably cheating on you. Count your lucky stars that your not the fool with the ball and chain and future alimonny payment.

Seriously Mikeman, you should be estatic, happier than a pig in ****. Your a bright young man with your entire life in front of you. You can make the most out of it, especially with the knowledge that you have now about women and how to get them attracted to you. Live your life to the fullest.

 

[Latinoman]

Did you actually "see" this woman in REAL life? Did you have sex with her?

Is this one of those Internet chicks?

 

[amoka]

Did you actually "see" this woman in REAL life? Did you have sex with her?

Is this one of those Internet chicks?

I supposed he met her once. And probably was not given the opportunity to fvck her. This man must be out of his mind. A LDR with no fvcking is crazy.

 

[Mikeman!]

***UPDATE***

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who contributed their wisdom to this thread, it truly did help me...

Just thought I'd give you guys an update on whats going on with me...Life is good...I have 2 other women I'm seeing, I've been taking salsa lessons, going out with friends, keeping myself busy....I've been promoted to a managerial position at work. Everything is going well and although she's still on my mind daily, it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did 1 month ago.

In fact, after she had sent me a message saying "I wanted to let you know I'm married, I won't be coming on here anymore, hope all is well", I blocked her on MSN, I realized this is not the woman I thought I knew and I didn't want anything to do with her. Two weeks later she comes on MSN(after saying she wouldn't anymore) and realizes I'm offline(In reality she is blocked) then sends me a short phone e-mail saying "U okay?". She proceeds to check if I'm online 4 days out of that week.

It's now a week later and I come home from work noticing she's online AGAIN and I have *3* e-mails sent to me in 1 day spaced out 3 hours apart...

1st one telling me "If you still have this email please write back, I want to talk to you, my husband is out for a few days I think we should talk. are you ok?

2nd one "You're always offline, will you please talk to me???"

3rd "Hey hey hey...mike..mike...poke poke...I'm talking to you, are you listening?"

I now see her true nature, and realize she is of the narcissistic/freak personality..But this is getting out of hand...I'm GUESSING she can't fu*k this husband of hers since she has me on her mind the whole time and is feeling guilty and just wants closure. Part of me wants to completely ignore her and not give her that, if thats what she wants. Another part of me wants to reply indifferently, telling her to move on, without me in her life...and the last to somehow acquire her as a LD FB if possible(I would not let myself get attached to her again by keeping other girls as primarys).

Regardless, I'm feeling better and will not be falling into that same trap again, but what do you think she's after?

 

[blueguy]

It's possible she was giving you gradual ultimatums to try to get you to make a move hence the hint at rescuing her. You still flirted with her but didn't move there. She got tired of nothing after 1 1/2 years. In any case, it's good it didn't work out. You'll thank yourself later once you get yourself a passionate life...

Your life was her, which is why you are so sad.

 

[blueguy]

***UPDATE***

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who contributed their wisdom to this thread, it truly did help me...

Just thought I'd give you guys an update on whats going on with me...Life is good...I have 2 other women I'm seeing, I've been taking salsa lessons, going out with friends, keeping myself busy....I've been promoted to a managerial position at work. Everything is going well and although she's still on my mind daily, it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did 1 month ago.

In fact, after she had sent me a message saying "I wanted to let you know I'm married, I won't be coming on here anymore, hope all is well", I blocked her on MSN, I realized this is not the woman I thought I knew and I didn't want anything to do with her. Two weeks later she comes on MSN(after saying she wouldn't anymore) and realizes I'm offline(In reality she is blocked) then sends me a short phone e-mail saying "U okay?". She proceeds to check if I'm online 4 days out of that week.

It's now a week later and I come home from work noticing she's online AGAIN and I have *3* e-mails sent to me in 1 day spaced out 3 hours apart...

1st one telling me "If you still have this email please write back, I want to talk to you, my husband is out for a few days I think we should talk. are you ok?

2nd one "You're always offline, will you please talk to me???"

3rd "Hey hey hey...mike..mike...poke poke...I'm talking to you, are you listening?"

I now see her true nature, and realize she is of the narcissistic/freak personality..But this is getting out of hand...I'm GUESSING she can't fu*k this husband of hers since she has me on her mind the whole time and is feeling guilty and just wants closure. Part of me wants to completely ignore her and not give her that, if thats what she wants. Another part of me wants to reply indifferently, telling her to move on, without me in her life...and the last to somehow acquire her as a LD FB if possible(I would not let myself get attached to her again by keeping other girls as primarys).

Regardless, I'm feeling better and will not be falling into that same trap again, but what do you think she's after?

lol yeah, this almost pretty much confirms what I wrote above. She realizes her plan didn't work so she comes into contact with you again. She is indecisive and DESPERATE.




Don't reply. Delete everything. Start your life anew. Forget about her. Remember the dreams you had when you were a kid and LIVE THEM! Don't get dragged down by a 30ish mother who has taken control of your passion for life. You've totally lost your dreams!

 

[Sinistar]

1st one telling me "If you still have this email please write back, I want to talk to you, my husband is out for a few days I think we should talk. are you ok?

Now you can really see what she would have been like in any type of relationship. If she really is married just re-read that quote again. Now that is respect isn't it?

It sounds like you're doing a lot better. I think you did the right thing by blocking her out because that will expedite your ultimately forgetting about her. Now one more thing...

It's now a week later and I come home from work noticing she's online AGAIN and I have *3* e-mails sent to me in 1 day spaced out 3 hours apart...

...its one thing to have a bunch of emails, but please tell us that you are not 'checking' to see if she is online. That will just keep the obsession going.

Just delete the emails, stop looking for her online and move on. You are right, she's is looking to relieve herself of guilt. THAT IS NOT YOUR JOB. Think of it this way, each of those messages were her handing back the power you gave to her. Now you've got it back. Erase, forget and move on. You're doing a heck of a lot better and that rocks

 

[ADifferentKindofDJ]

There are other women... go meet them.

 

[cordoncordon]

Sounds to me like shes a possible Borderline Personality head case. they lie, they get infatuated easily, they can also move onto the next person just as easily.

Have you ever considered the possibility that she never got divorced? Maybe she was having marriage problems when she was talking to you, but then decided to work it out with her hubby, so she ended contact with you?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Regardless, I'm feeling better and will not be falling into that same trap again, but what do you think she's after?

Attention.

 

[Mikeman!]

Blueguy: She is definately indecisive/confused, desperate...However I think what she was doing was juggling me and this other guy at the same time and this guy was willing to move to be with her right away, whereas I had told her we'd be together by the end of the year. She was just so desperate, that coupled with the fact that I lost the prize frame, she went with this other guy..

cordoncordon: My ex definately exhibits those traits...As for the divorce, I know she did in fact get divorced, we talked about it extensively for 2-3 months..Did she re-marry her husband after the divorce? I don't think so...

Sinistar: I admit I was checking to see if she was online, however it gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing she is finally feeling the frustration and pain she made me endure.

If she is looking for attention or looking to relieve herself of guilt which seems to be the case, I will not be giving her the satisfaction.

I was feeling really good all day today and I realized how she could possibly get married 3-4 months after leaving me... she thought she had me under her thumb the whole time, that kept her from degenerating to the level I was at. Now that the tables are reversed, she needs to be taught a lesson, she needs to go through the exact same feelings of being powerless and rejected. Completely shutting her out of my life(when she wants to remain in contact) seems to be an equivalent punishment for what she has done.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I am in UTTER SHOCK and DISBELIEF....I constantly feel like I'm about to throw up...my insides are hurting like nothing else. Every day, I've still been thinking about her even though I don't want to...she pops into my head 15-20 times a day, for 1-2 seconds. I slept with another girl a few times, it didn't help me get over this... I still feel love for her and now all hope I had of ever making this work is COMPLETELY out the window, because in a mere 4 months she has gone and MARRIED ANOTHER MAN!! She is extremely needy, she couldn't stand being alone...

This will be swift. You have to rid yourself of this disease called LDR. It's nothing more than a control application from phony b!tches who scour the internet for clingy,needy wussbags (sorry brother but that's what you are) such as yourself. This cvnt had no intentions of leaving her old man for you. You have been her emotional tampax and attentive pooch.

The easiest way to get over a woman is finding another.

Learn it, Love it, Live it.

 

[lostmymind]

you were born without her, you breath without her, you managed to live the majority of your life without her, and sad to think about now but when you die you are going to die without her. so given you have only one life is there any one thing or person in it that should define what you feel or think or suffer for other then yourself or that which you value in yourself?

 

[Hitman10000]

I feel you bro, cut all contact with her! She's no good to you!