My ex-girlfriend won't leave me alone, what do I do?

[peaceseeker]

We are both 23, and I ended the relationship with her over two months ago. There was hope in saving the relationship if she told her parents about us, because the stress and pressures of doing stuff with her behind EVERYONE's back got to me. I had to take on the pressures of the world, and it was genrally smooth sailing for her. This took a toll on me physically and mentally. She is a people pleaser, does everything others ask of her at my expense. She cannot say no to anyone but me. I took this as disrespect, because I cannot marry a girl who will not listen to me. I would have done (and did) anything she asked of me, but it was disappointing to see her again and again letting me down. She always had a perfect excuse (because parents would find out, etc.), but to me what mattered was that I was being let down over and over and over again. I love her enough I was able to deal with this for a year and a half, but it got to the point where I am burnt out. We agreed to a mutual breakup, and I thought I could finally move on in hopes of getting my body and most importantly my mind recovered.

She called me the next day after the break up and told me she missed me. I told her I missed her as well. I asked her if she would tell her mom about us so me and her can have a stress free life (her mother had even asked if someone was in her life!). She declined. I took that as no hope, and swallowed all my feelings for her and tried to move on. I am trying to be on my own this summer and be by myself so I can get over her and prepare for life, school, etc. After a month into the break up, she just bombarded me with calls, emails, texts, etc. I was totally ignoring her so I can get over her and fix myself. But she just kept calling and calling and calling. After reading her emails, it angered me. NOW she was willing to tell her mother, but a broken heart is a broken heart. It was too late for me. I replied her email in a angry fashion, asking her to leave me alone. Things were quiet after awhile.

Flash forward a month later. This last week I have been bombarded with calls, emails, texts. I have been ignoring them all. I don't think I owe her anything anymore, and I thought after the last email I sent her she would get the point. But she keeps telling me "I wont give up" over and over again. I have ignored all the messages. But yesterday, she accused me of being happy about ignoring her. She warned me that something ten times worse will happen to me. She accused me of ending the relationship even though it was mutual. She is now telling me that if I don't pick up and talk to her, then she will "go away from the planet forever." She is telling me that in order to make me happy, she will die. I am disappointed to know she thinks this of me, but I don't know what to do now. Should I hold my ground and ignore her, or give in and talk with her. If I give in, then she basically has no value for my word. Nothing I say (like always) matters. It is always her way. BUT I hate to see her in this pain. What do I do? Sorry for the long post!

 

[Warrior74]

Espi hit it on the head.

Stand your ground. You left for good reasons. Your reasons are valid. Your opinion is valid. Your word is your bond.

You saw a situation you didn't like being in and you removed yourself from it. That is what a man does. Imagine if the roles were reversed. Her and her girls would be sitting around talking about how pathetic you are.

BTW. You know you slipped with this girl and went weak. You will never be anything but weak in her eyes. It's best to put this one behind you and keep moving forward. She'll respect you more in the long run, not that you'll be around to notice or care.

How dare you dump her! That's what her ego is saying. It's just her ego wanting to get the back at you. If you went back it would be way worse than before and this time she would dump you so she could walk away with her ego puffed up.

Stay the course.

 

[samspade]

Keep ignoring her. And by the way, you're never fully "No Contact" unless you stop receiving and/or reading or listening to her messages.

So, either filter them to your trash, or block her from contact. She'll get the hint, and if she doesn't, you'll be none the wiser.

 

[Cinamon]

By any chance is your girlfriend asian? It appear as though she leaves things for about a month and then gets in contact again. I guarantee you this is most likely linked to her menstrual hormonal cycle and at the time of the month whewn she is feeling lonely and weak she keeps runnning back to you. Personally, i would say move on, too much has happened and i think it can be used as ammunition in future arguments. Just finish all contact.

 

[drak_ool]

this is how you get rid of her: send her this txt "so you gonna kill yourself? good riddance!" :moon:

after that she ll probably hate you, but at least she ll finally get the hint you don't want her in your life.

 

[KontrollerX]

For all you AFC cowards out there too afraid to do a take away for fear that your oneits will leave you forever if you do read this topic.

This guy did not just a take away as a tactic but a genuine take away ie a full blown genuine breakup and the b!tch is obsessed over him blowing up his phone and trying to contact him nonstop.

This is what happens when you beat a woman to the punch at a breakup and stick to your guns for a while not bowing to her manipulation.

She gets crazy obsessed over you as her ego is bruised and you've beat her at her own stupid game.

"She is now telling me that if I don't pick up and talk to her, then she will "go away from the planet forever." She is telling me that in order to make me happy, she will die."

Callous manipulative suicide threat= psycho chick.

You are better off without her.

"I am disappointed to know she thinks this of me, but I don't know what to do now. Should I hold my ground and ignore her, or give in and talk with her. If I give in, then she basically has no value for my word. Nothing I say (like always) matters. It is always her way. BUT I hate to see her in this pain. What do I do? Sorry for the long post!"

If you give in and talk to her you'll end up being sucked back in to this destructive one sided relationship with her and she will get revenge on you for the current breakup you have done with her by waiting to a point where you are most vulnerable and seemingly in love with her and then she will drop the bombshell that she's been fvcking someone else or maybe when you two are set to get together on your birthday or some special day she'll mysteriously not be there and you'll call her up and then the crying bullsh!t will start and breakup speech from her end will start along with her telling you how she met someone else etc in between the crocodile tears and manipulative lying to you.

Even if you tried to set up a deal with her where you'll go back to her on your terms only I don't believe you'd be strong enough to hold to that and watch for signs that she was gradually and subtley changing the deal around to benefit her. Most likely you'd get comfortable being in the relationship with her again and she'd proceed to begin screwing you over making things all about her again and you'd rationalize each time she got her way as being alright or not that bad and you'd let it slide and before you know it you'd be right back to where you started with her which caused you to want to break up with her in the first place.

So hold your ground.

Then after you've held it for a while move on to someone else.

This chick isn't right for you.

If she threatens suicide again either give her directions to do it right such as "remember its down the road not across the street" or tape record her phone call of wanting to commit suicide play it for the proper authorities and hopefully you can get her ass sent to a padded room for a while which should teach the b!tch to drop that particular callous and cvnt like manipulation from her repertoire if she doesn't want to re-live the movie "One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest" in the future.

 

[shaunuk]

I don't need to elaborate any more than the other guys already have done, but she sounds like a psycho in all reality. You did yourself a good turn getting shot of her man. So that means no contact at all...no answering calls, txts, emails -- nothing.

Just wondering why the hell she wouldn't tell her parents that she's seeing someone? That pretty much would compell me to go the same route as you if she had to creep around just to meet up. Sounds like she has some weird issues.

 

[Jblitz59]

she just screams I CANT COMMITT.

The main reason of not telling your parents or friends is because you are either embarrassed or you do not want to committ.

The embarrassed one i picture as being if the date is on a extreme age of the age pool. Like 18 dating 14 or a 18 year old dating a 30 year old.

A girl once told me she didn't even tell her parents about me after we were dating for weeks, and so i broke it off and broke off all contact

 

[peaceseeker]

Man, I gave her so many chances. More than any guy would, but I just can't take it anymore. I love her more than anything in the world, but being with her is not good for my well being. I don't see it working out. Now I just want to be alone and focus on work and myself. FYI, she has cut herself in the past after I caught her lying to me.

She refused to tell her parents because I am of a different religion than her. She was scared if her parents found out about us in the early stages, then she would be forced to end it. I was willing to go along with this, but after a year and a half of this, it really hurts your self esteem. Can you imagine having to go run and hide if one her friends walks by? If I am the person she wants to marry, why the hell should I be put second to a friend? After a year and a half of this, I told her to find a solution. The only one I could think of was for her to tell her mom (who had previously asked about me as well). I'm no dummy, and I consider myself a pretty decent guy, and besides the whole religious nonsense, I don't see any reason they would reject me. In reality, the religion issue doesn't seem as big anymore, considering the fact her mother even asked about me and she told her to to "come talk to me when you need too." She refused to do all this (even if it meant life was made easier for me). She recently offered to do tell her mom, but I think the book is now closed and it's too late. I don't want to be on this rollercoaster ride.

She called me AGAIN today three more times and another four text messages. She does not seem to understand why I am ignoring her. According to her texts, she thinks I am ignoring her only to prove a point of how I used to treat compared with how I treat her now. She also told me to stop ignoring her because that will only make a "wider gap between us." I thought I made it clear to her to leave me alone, but she still persists. I don't think she has accepted that it is over. I really really really miss her, but if I go down this path again things will repeat. Her disrespect for my word has always been there, and if I were start things again, it will keep happening. Anyways, I downloaded an app on my iPhone which will block all her texts and calls. Did I do the right thing here guys?

 

[jamesmoon]

how i got my wife back just in 3 days

I live in united state, Two years ago i married a lady called saline, we had two children together, we were very happy to be husband and wife, so when i travel on business trip to Brazil, i spent 1 years in Brazil due to my kind of business, i and my wife talked on phone all the time, we chat on the Internet, i never knew that my wife had started cheating on me by going out with her old school friend called mark, i never knew something was going wrong till i came back from my trip, then i and My wife started having problems, she goes out and come back late at night, she changed in a strange way that i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please her but it got worst, so one day she left the house and never came back, i tried reaching her but no way i could reach her, i never knew she traveled with her new lover which was mark, i wanted her so much because of the children she left for me and because i loved her so much too, because of the heart break she put me into, i went into search of a real magic spell caster I was scammed twice by a spell caster, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my wife, so one morning i was browsing so luckily for me i saw testimony on Google about a spell caster prophetharry but the email address was not disclosed the testimony i saw but when i typed prophetharry on Google i saw more testimonies from their i was able to get his email address, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise this prophetharry made life manful for me again, my wife came back to me, i took her back and I am now settled with my wife by the magic power of prophet harry spell .
James moon'

 

[Cremasta]

Man, what a weirdo!

Wait till you've got a few more incriminating voicemails and texts. Anyone who threatens suicide or self-harm is a little bit unhinged and unpredictable and you may need evidence.

Call up her mum and give her the story that you've just told us. Tell her mum that because this girl obviously values her opinion, that she needs to make her daughter back off or you'll be getting a restraining order from the cops.

This is pretty much last a resort though.

 

[Kbomb]

I live in united state, Two years ago i married a lady called saline, we had two children together, we were very happy to be husband and wife, so when i travel on business trip to Brazil, i spent 1 years in Brazil due to my kind of business, i and my wife talked on phone all the time, we chat on the Internet, i never knew that my wife had started cheating on me by going out with her old school friend called mark, i never knew something was going wrong till i came back from my trip, then i and My wife started having problems, she goes out and come back late at night, she changed in a strange way that i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please her but it got worst, so one day she left the house and never came back, i tried reaching her but no way i could reach her, i never knew she traveled with her new lover which was mark, i wanted her so much because of the children she left for me and because i loved her so much too, because of the heart break she put me into, i went into search of a real magic spell caster I was scammed twice by a spell caster, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my wife, so one morning i was browsing so luckily for me i saw testimony on Google about a spell caster prophetharry but the email address was not disclosed the testimony i saw but when i typed prophetharry on Google i saw more testimonies from their i was able to get his email address, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise this prophetharry made life manful for me again, my wife came back to me, i took her back and I am now settled with my wife by the magic power of prophet harry spell .
James moon'

Wow, troll or advert, can't tell. LOL.