My ex girlfriend cheated because she assumed that i was doing the same thing.

[pointbreak23]

We broke up a while ago but ive always wondered about this situation. Basically what happened is that i was overall a good boyfriend but definitely not an AFC, i wouldnt hang out with her too much, didnt call her that much, didnt really show her how much i liked her or anything like that but instead of this making her more intrigued by me...it just drove her away. She cheated on me and told me that it happened because i didnt appreciate her enough and that she assumed that i was cheating too. We obviously broke up after this because i will not stay with someone who cheats on me but i still think i should have been a better boyfriend when i actually had her. Has this happened to anyone else? where you basically play the game so well that you drive the girl away into the arms of someone who gives her what she wants?

 

[boomerick]

Let me get this straight -- she cheated on you because you were being scarce. So it's your game's fault. I'm thinkin one word --- BULLSH!T She cheated on you for her reasons not because you gamed her. I'm thinkin her IL with you was low and she wanted to sex other dude. Simple. Then when you got around to asking her she gave you a woman-ese answer. LOOK AT HER ACTIONS! Never listen to women's explainations. If she has high IL she doesn't care about other guy, she wants you. Also don't throw the baby out with the bathwater -- don't do the "I lost a girl so running game on them must have backfired" -- Bull**** your game did you a favor and filtered out a head case!!!!

 

[pointbreak23]

Let me get this straight -- she cheated on you because you were being scarce. So it's your game's fault. I'm thinkin one word --- BULLSH!T She cheated on you for her reasons not because you gamed her. I'm thinkin her IL with you was low and she wanted to sex other dude. Simple. Then when you got around to asking her she gave you a woman-ese answer. LOOK AT HER ACTIONS! Never listen to women's explainations. If she has high IL she doesn't care about other guy, she wants you. Also don't throw the baby out with the bathwater -- don't do the "I lost a girl so running game on them must have backfired" -- Bull**** your game did you a favor and filtered out a head case!!!!

she didnt have sex with the other guy when i was with her, she kissed him though and as far i know she's now in a relationship with him. i think she just needs a lot of attention and basically wanted an AFC since all she ever told me was how i was constantly distant and unreliable. Also she didnt trust me even though i never cheated on her.

 

[boomerick]

So your game saved you a big AW headache. Congrats!!! Move on to others who want to be around YOU! Spin the perverbial plates and have fun!!!!

 

[kingkong98]

I've had something similar happen, my gf didnt cheat on me but she left me because i wasnt attentive enough.

 

[Ease]

No guys, they cheated because they had low interest level.

You still must have been AFC or/and failed several **** tests. Her interest level in you was reduced by something you did. Remember what that might have been.

Girls dont lose interest level when you arent attentive to them, ie. are busy and have your own life. This does indeed increase interest level, unless you are doing something wrong. Which you were.

And dont listen to what she tells you. Definitely dont listen to what reasons your ex is giving you, thats twice as bad as asking your mum for pickup advice. She got bored and ****ed some other guy, shes just trying to validate what she did and not feel guilty by feeding you bs.

 

[kingkong98]

No guys, they cheated because they had low interest level.

You still must have been AFC or/and failed several **** tests. Her interest level in you was reduced by something you did. Remember what that might have been.

Girls dont lose interest level when you arent attentive to them, ie. are busy and have your own life. This does indeed increase interest level, unless you are doing something wrong. Which you were.

And dont listen to what she tells you. Definitely dont listen to what reasons your ex is giving you, thats twice as bad as asking your mum for pickup advice. She got bored and ****ed some other guy, shes just trying to validate what she did and not feel guilty by feeding you bs.

i totally disagree, lets say your girl isnt giving you enough attention or enough sex. Wont you just go get it elsewhere? Girls will do the same thing.

 

[Ease]

she didnt have sex with the other guy when i was with her, she kissed him though and as far i know she's now in a relationship with him. i think she just needs a lot of attention and basically wanted an AFC since all she ever told me was how i was constantly distant and unreliable. Also she didnt trust me even though i never cheated on her.

This is woman speak for:

I got bored of you, because you weren't manly enough and were too AFC, i probably deep down knew you would never cheat on me and actually you liked me more than i liked you, someone more exciting came along, i kept you around while i was getting ready to move to him.

Nothing to do with giving her attention, or being reliable. An attention ***** like this needs a real ******* who is going to frustrate her and not be manipulated by her.

I think what happened was she saw through your game and realized you were too weak for her. This is why they sh*t test. Dont worry, this type of thing improves your game.

 

[Ease]

i totally disagree, lets say your girl isnt giving you enough attention or enough sex. Wont you just go get it elsewhere? Girls will do the same thing.

Once a girl is attracted to you, ie. you have hooked her in, not giving her attention will increase her interest in you and make her want it more and more. 99% of the time.

Girls and us guys are different. An AFC with no game would act the same way, he would just chase her harder once she pulls back.

 

[SmoothTalker]

What a load of crap.

That's a pretty strong sign of a low quality woman. A high quality woman (or person in general), if they really thought their partner was cheating, they would leave.

She cheated for whatever her reason was and this is just the best excuse she could come up with.

 

[SamMalone]

This happened to me before too. I played all the the DJ "games" as in not talking to her every day, cutting her short on the phone, only seeing her once in a while. She assumed I was just using her for sex and not interested, so her interest level dropped because of that.

I lost that girl, but what you have to do is remember the DJ "Rules" are just a guidline, and that some girls will require a little more attention than others.

 

[kingkong98]

This happened to me before too. I played all the the DJ "games" as in not talking to her every day, cutting her short on the phone, only seeing her once in a while. She assumed I was just using her for sex and not interested, so her interest level dropped because of that.

I lost that girl, but what you have to do is remember the DJ "Rules" are just a guidline, and that some girls will require a little more attention than others.

the same thing is happening to me right now, in fact yesterday i got a text from my girlfriend asking if the only reason im with her is for sex.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Push. Pull. You need to find the right balance. You're not meant to make it easy for her but you're still meant to give her something to hook onto. Common sense is required.

It's possible she's just not that interested inspite of your game. It's also possible that you're doing too much pushing and not enough pulling. It's also possible you're just being an ass and/or treating her like sh!t when you think you're playing hard to get. I don't know.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

We broke up a while ago but ive always wondered about this situation. Basically what happened is that i was overall a good boyfriend but definitely not an AFC, i wouldnt hang out with her too much, didnt call her that much, didnt really show her how much i liked her or anything like that but instead of this making her more intrigued by me...it just drove her away. She cheated on me and told me that it happened because i didnt appreciate her enough and that she assumed that i was cheating too. We obviously broke up after this because i will not stay with someone who cheats on me but i still think i should have been a better boyfriend when i actually had her. Has this happened to anyone else? where you basically play the game so well that you drive the girl away into the arms of someone who gives her what she wants?

She's full of crap. She didn't assume you were cheating, she's blaming her own low quality on you. Don't let it effect you and make you weak! You deserve better. She's looking for some man who will do what she wants....an AFC and then she'll go screwing around anyway.

You dodged a bullet, be happy.

A woman who's good enough quality for you would have busted her ass to get you and not been sidetracked. Good women can't chase two men at the same time, only bad ones. There isn't anything wrong with what you did. I've never seen a case where a good man put a good interested woman in the position to chase (which is good for both of you, it's what good women want!) and she didn't take up the challenge.

 

[tafakna]

Agree with the others...

No girl cheats because they assumed anything. Girls like to talk, to discuss relationships, and get the facts.

She found a cheap rationalization so she doesn't feel like a slut, and may transfer the blame to you...

 

[SchoolBoy]

Yea if a woman found out you cheated, a quality woman will just break it off with you.

She cheated for her own reasons.

 

[The Piano Master]

Some girls need to be satisfied more than others. For this chick, she found someone else who could make her cream.

 

[everywomanshero]

Probably happens all the time. Different women need different things.

Strategies are attempts to apply something that holds true most of the time, but nothing holds true all of the time. In lower animals, most triggers are inborn. In humans, more of our autopilot responses are learned and socially reinforced. Obviously, individual experiences and unusual family/social environments can drastically alter how people respond.

Some women just want a guy who goes to church and is a good family man who will make her family proud. Some women want a guy who isn't sure if he wants her back, as this provides a big drama which she will share with her male girlfriends. Other women want someone famous, through which she will bask in the reflected glory of. Others want to meet someone from another culture, either to experience something different or to impress people with how cultured they are. Once we label ourselves something and become known for it, we will try to stay consistent with that theme (at least until we come up with new ones).

People like to simplify things so they don't have to think about it anymore. "RULES" are one way to do this, and can sometimes be helpful, but when you're out of cognitive resources the problem becomes recognizing when these things are no longer functional. We need to have clear enough heads (not overloaded with stress, fear, depression, workaholism, self-doubt, a desperate need for acceptance, etc.) to be able to really think about what we're doing, where we're going, and what we want to happen.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

She's full of crap. She didn't assume you were cheating, she's blaming her own low quality on you. Don't let it effect you and make you weak! You deserve better. She's looking for some man who will do what she wants....an AFC and then she'll go screwing around anyway.

You dodged a bullet, be happy.

A woman who's good enough quality for you would have busted her ass to get you and not been sidetracked. Good women can't chase two men at the same time, only bad ones. There isn't anything wrong with what you did. I've never seen a case where a good man put a good interested woman in the position to chase (which is good for both of you, it's what good women want!) and she didn't take up the challenge.

What a load of crap.
That's a pretty strong sign of a low quality woman. A high quality woman (or person in general), if they really thought their partner was cheating, they would leave. She cheated for whatever her reason was and this is just the best excuse she could come up with.

You guys hit the nail on the head. I couldn´t agree more. That´s all "womaneze"!!

Passive-aggressive ways (like having affairs while in a relationship), control issues and lying are prompted by deficits in emotional development.

Having an affair as a revenge for something stupid done (whatever it may be) is the dirtiest thing a person can do.