My Ex & Friends EX- All rolled into one workplace. Mess!

MT93

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#1
Hi All- Apologies for the post in advance will try and keep as brief as possible but cover what I need to, heads all over the place.

My first post was on here a few months ago surrounding a chick who gave me the “im not ready speech” Truthfully, we have been on and off ever since – the whole thing has been ongoing since February, so we have been seeing each other for quite a while, there was the whole issue of her ex resurfacing and her IL being low etc etc, disrespecting.

She eventually asked me to be exclusive in October (on her birthday funnily enough) I sensed a red flag, as her ex had just gotten into a RS, but brushed it off and thought if she wants to make the commitment then we will give it a try, I gave it a go as best as possible, I could sense her IL was constantly up and down and last week she explained whilst she loved me, she doesn’t think she “will ever be IN love with me”

She said its not fair and that whilst she doesn’t want to break up with me, she feels me and her will never really work out, I explained that was fine, do not worry about it, lets not waste each others time anymore and wished her the best. That was that, implemented NC.

She sent me a text a week later saying she hoped I was ok etc etc, I ignored the questions and point blank asked for a meet, she was very enthusiastic, we met up and she was remorseful explaining shouldn’t have ended it how she did blah blah blah.

Long story short – this is the F*cked bit, a mutual friend I know from our workplace, since the break up, his ex has been really good with me, friendly, flirty, asking for dates etc, she is a HB 9.5 (unbelievable seriously), they have been broken up for around a year after being together for a couple of months – no exaggeration, I got blasted with the boys on Saturday and ended up taking her back, the rest is history.

She is very eager to continue meeting etc, this would ultimately destroy the friendship I have with my pal, he is very “Bro Code’esque” and truthfully I do feel slightly guilty.

My ex – who has had me like a yo-yo, has caught wind of the situation, I'm not sure whether anyone saw us together whilst out etc, but she has also said she saw us liking each other pics on Instagram etc and knows we was together.

Well last night I got a text from my said friend “So what’s going on with you and S*****”


MY EX HAS ONLY GONE AND TOLD HIM!!! Apparently she gave him a lift home from work yesterday and spilled all about how she knows me and this girl got together etc etc, I was absolutely raging.
Called her and asked if she had spoken to him – the response was “Haha yeah, I’ve had a conversation with him” – I cut off and that was that. I have never been so angry in my life, my friend has told me to never speak to him again and blocked me, not even a chance for an explanation.


What do I do man??? My head is so screwed.
 

Ranger

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#2
What are you trying to solve? Sounds like you got what you wanted or did you?
 

Von

Master Don Juan
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#3
You need to man up.

You got what you wanted, deal with the consequences.

Life it's all rainbows.... You need to take responsabilités for your actions.. Nothing is 100%.

Just own it. Have fun with the new chick
 

The Diver

Senior Don Juan
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#4
my friend has told me to never speak to him again and blocked me,
I don't know, all these bro cod regarding women sound to me such a BS.
Your friend had a go with her, it didn't work out for him, so he should be a man, step aside, and let others have their go. Congratulating them on their success, and stop crying like a baby.
This is his fragile Ego talking. Every man will do better in life killing their stupid Ego.
 

MT93

Don Juan
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#5
I did get what I wanted, I just feel guilty due to it being a friends Ex, he will more than likely make my name mud around the workplace etc etc

The new girl wants to see where things go etc etc but I don't want to be labelled a "snake" thing is, she displayed good values and traits when I was going through a difficult time (Break up) I'd had a few beers, I acted on it....

The bit now that's really making me burn up inside is the fact my ex has felt the need to broadcast it, when the situation was reversed she was adamant I must not discuss our break up affairs with work colleagues!!

So what gives her the right to discuss my business?
For this reason, I felt I have lost..

Does that make sense?

Both my ex and friend are blocked on every aspect of social media, contact etc etc, may still run into them if we cross paths in our building, whats best way to act?

Apologies for raw emotion, this literally happened last night.

Thanks
 

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MT93

Don Juan
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#6
I must add that my ex has always had an issue with this girl....

She is literally stunning and does have a lot of men drooling over her, she has always hated her.

I suppose that is partly the reason why she has acted the way she has, but it is still no excuse, i figured because we have experienced and shared a lot of things over this past year, she would respect me more than this and not sell me out...

How wrong was i?
 

Ranger

Master Don Juan
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#7
I did get what I wanted, I just feel guilty due to it being a friends Ex, he will more than likely make my name mud around the workplace etc etc

The new girl wants to see where things go etc etc but I don't want to be labelled a "snake" thing is, she displayed good values and traits when I was going through a difficult time (Break up) I'd had a few beers, I acted on it....

The bit now that's really making me burn up inside is the fact my ex has felt the need to broadcast it, when the situation was reversed she was adamant I must not discuss our break up affairs with work colleagues!!

So what gives her the right to discuss my business?
For this reason, I felt I have lost..

Does that make sense?

Both my ex and friend are blocked on every aspect of social media, contact etc etc, may still run into them if we cross paths in our building, whats best way to act?

Apologies for raw emotion, this literally happened last night.

Thanks
I understand the rage. Look, it’s a good thing to polarize. Firstly the first woman, your ex, did it because she want to string you along and you trashed her survival strategy. Tough $hit. You snooze, you lose.

Your buddy broke up with his ex...or did she dump him? If he is still enamored with her then there’s going to be some blow back. Again tough $hit. I know it’s easy for me to say that but it’s true.
There is no bro code for this. This is girl code and they talk about it all the time. They hate it when a friend then picks up the guy they just dumped or got dumped from.

What’s the big deal? This spreading around work actually works in your favor. This is a good thing. Your friend should be unplugging himself and making himself more aware and resolute.

Just my opinion. Only men fall on swords. Don’t fall on a sword. Wield it like a bad a$$.
 

lamath

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#8
I must add that my ex has always had an issue with this girl....

She is literally stunning and does have a lot of men drooling over her, she has always hated her.

I suppose that is partly the reason why she has acted the way she has, but it is still no excuse, i figured because we have experienced and shared a lot of things over this past year, she would respect me more than this and not sell me out...

How wrong was i?
Seems to me like your Ex got what she wanted from you, a REACTION!!!

You just triggered her hypergamy seeing you with a better looking women is raising your SMV


Continue stuff with the new girl and ignore the crazy ex
 

MT93

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#9
She broke up with him I believe, I think he took the route of the jerk and it ultimately worked against him in the end, when he realised what he had lost he tried to game it back but it was too late, I think it took an escalation route at work and warnings etc were issued out..

I understand what you mean in terms of it going round is working in my favour but I do not want my name becoming mud, as I have quite a good reputation within my workplace.

I have done nothing wrong, apart from breaking this so called "bro code" nothing towards my ex and nothing to slate her name, there was no need what so ever to discuss my current affairs in order to try and hurt me and create a situation, that's my point, especially as I have always held the respect and not bad mouthed her prior.

At some point I am going to run into the both of them, that is the part I am not looking forward to, I have a feeling this will get worse before it gets better, I can see her becoming very vindictive over the next couple of weeks.
 

MT93

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#10
Seems to me like your Ex got what she wanted from you, a REACTION!!!

You just triggered her hypergamy seeing you with a better looking women is raising your SMV


Continue stuff with the new girl and ignore the crazy ex
She did get a reaction, to be honest I blasted her when I found out she had told him.

Her response was her laughing down the phone saying "Yeah, I've had a conversation with him"

A little later on she said it was a mistake and she did it on accident, "It just slipped out" What a load of BS
 
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Ranger

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#11
Seems to me like your Ex got what she wanted from you, a REACTION!!!

You just triggered her hypergamy seeing you with a better looking women is raising your SMV


Continue stuff with the new girl and ignore the crazy ex
Oh so true. She didn’t think another high SMV woman would want him. LMAO
Priceless. This will raise his SMV all through the company.
 

Spaz

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#12
Sorry guys, i have a different stand, I wouldn't allow any chick to interfere with my friendship towards my buddies.

I can have any chick on any given week or month but true friendship with another male takes some real bonding. A guy friend would literally jump into a burning house to save me, even die for me out of friendship.

Women have little loyalty. I know that. You all know that.

The decent thing OP should have done is at least informed his friend 1st, ask him if it's okay with him and if it's not then make a choice.

To be admirable and respected, a man must have a code of conduct. A set of principles.
 

MT93

Don Juan
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#13
I also feel as though the revenge tactic will not be too far away..

Whether that be in the form of badmouthing me at work, or the form of making it publicly known 'New Chad'
Or

Going even that little bit further....... and hooking up with the friend explained above!!

Seriously,. considering she ratted me out this way, it would not surprise me at all.
 

lamath

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#14
She did get a reaction, to be honest I blasted her when I found out she had told him.

Her response was her laughing down the phone saying "Yeah, I've had a conversation with him"

A little later on she said it was a mistake and she did it on accident, "It just slipped out" What a load of BS
Usaly best reaction is no reaction.

I get why you did what you did however.

I would have called told her what she did was not ok and that i dont associate with people like that then hang up.
No arguing or anything, firm word then stoping the discussion not listning to her excuses or reasons
 

MT93

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#15
ie for me out of friendship.

Yeah, and this is the mentality I have had on the situation, its made me feel very guilty man.

I must add though, not that I'm playing a game of tit for tat, but he would regularly get 'lifts home' with my ex, socialise and get very flirty when we were out (dancing etc) albeit as friends, hes also tried to make a move on a girl I went out with a few years ago fairly recently, not the same as it was so long ago but still....

I can appreciate this looks as if I am trying to justify it in my head, that's because I am. Lol
 
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lamath

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#16
Sorry guys, i have a different stand, I wouldn't allow any chick to interfere with my friendship towards my buddies.

I can have any chick on any given week or month but true friendship with another male takes some real bonding. A guy friend would literally jump into a burning house to save me, even die for me out of friendship.

Women have little loyalty. I know that. You all know that.

The decent thing OP should have done is at least informed his friend 1st, ask him if it's okay with him and if it's not then make a choice.

To be admirable and respected, a man must have a code of conduct. A set of principles.
Im 100% that way too.
But depends on the frienship level.
The people i call friends are people i know i can count on and they are in limited number.
 

Ranger

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#17
Sorry guys, i have a different stand, I wouldn't allow any chick to interfere with my friendship towards my buddies.

I can have any chick on any given week or month but true friendship with another male takes some real bonding. A guy friend would literally jump into a burning house to save me, even die for me out of friendship.

Women have little loyalty. I know that. You all know that.

The decent thing OP should have done is at least informed his friend 1st, ask him if it's okay with him and if it's not then make a choice.

To be admirable and respected, a man must have a code of conduct. A set of principles.
I understand.
 

Ranger

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#18
Im 100% that way too.
But depends on the frienship level.
The people i call friends are people i know i can count on and they are in limited number.
That’s where I was coming from. Maybe three men where the friendship is at that level. But then it’s unlikely that would happen between us. It’s unlikely we would get dumped and if we dumped them, we wouldn’t care.
 

MT93

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#19
We weren't bestest of bestest buds, I can assure you of that, we became tight around the same time I joined the company- so a couple of years ago (to this day coincidentally) but i also have a very tight friend group (10-15 years) from school, who I class as my day ones. That seems very shallow of me but its the truth.

Truthfully, this friend would only really contact me when he needed something, and even when he was supporting me through my 101 break ups with woman explained above - he would always ask for something afterwards, a lift, transfer some money, help tidy his house etc, obvs I would oblige because he was providing me with support over the break up.

Hope that makes sense?

The most concerning element of this now is the thought he will tarnish my name throughout the company.. along with the aid of the ex, I can imagine them discussing it and really stirring up a pot of emotion as I speak!

thanks all, need some support right now.
 

lamath

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#20
When i was tounger I ve turn down some ez lay, because i knew a good friend was crazy for her.

With other friend id just tell them directly in a reapectful manner

But Crazy ex screw this up for him
Thats the worst thing she did
 
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