Accension
Senior Don Juan
A long, yet informative post about transcending into a new identity- particularly, the past loser I was to the man I am today.
I recently re-enrolled in high school from studying at home.
I was a huge, awkward loser in high school.
My first day coincided with a 2-day long, school camp.
During my time away from school, to put it simply, I've become awesome.
Only, everyone at school was yet to know it.
When I got the call from my year-advisor to remind me of the camp the following morning, I was in a hotel-jakoozie with my girlfriend, her friends and a few other girls.
These people are the spawn of lawyer daddies with their trust funds and multiple, foreign cars.
So I'm up partying all night in this ridiculously lavish hotel suite and I'm starting to get vivid flashbacks of a young Accension trying to ask out one of the hot, popular-bitc!-!es from my old, and now current, school.
I must have made a pretty awkward face because one of my friends asked, "What's wrong?" and through much female pestering I finally told them.
It's a credit to my friends that they couldn't imagine it, but that didn't change the fact in less than an hour I'd have to face a group of people that remembered me clearly as the pimple-faced loser I've come to hate.
My girlfriend kind of kicked me and said, "Doesn't this count for anything? Look around you. You're in a rich kid's jakoozie full of girls completely comfortable enough to sit here naked with you. Are you a loser?"
I don't know- am I?
I mean at what point can we let go of the past and completely transcend into a new identity.
I had all the proof in the world just in one room, yet I was holding onto a guy that had died a long time ago (and I'm willing to bet Sosuave does this too).
Anyway, it all kind of hit me.
That guys probably dream about this stuff, and so I needed a pinch- to see if I was awake, so that I could maybe accept this.
I picked a girl at random.
She sat on my lap delighted, which kind of turned me off because as some of you will know, my sister likes to do stuff like that.
Nevertheless, I kissed her and I could tell that she may have been waiting for that kiss a long time- that maybe all the girls there are still waiting.
Then I saw my girlfriend, and she was smiling, but I couldn't understand why.
I looked at her more intently, we locked eyes and I understood: While she'd rather have me to herself, apparently she only wants to make me happy and it's OK for me to be like this.
While everyone's transcendence won't look like a poorly written love story, and perhaps, you won't have such a symbolic moment, you still need to have that moment.
What came after that moment can only be described as proof that my new identity has become a natural part of me.
The morning came and several girls were overly helpful in moving my suitcase into my girlfriend's Chevrolet (I'm at least 50% that's what her car is- not a real engine head myself).
We clocked some speed, due to my girlfriend's apparently suicidal inclinations and pumped an over sized stereo to generic GOA-Trance.
There's girls packed all around me and they seem to like touching me, a lot.
Just as we pull up to a line of luggage-laden kids, it's just a frenzy of girls -- the kind the kids will grow up wanting -- getting that one last kiss, hugging me, licking me and generally acting like they'll never see me again.
As I get out of the car my girlfriend plays womanizer and it's just ridiculously corny in the best possible way.
Everyone gets out of this elegant sports car and I'm basically consumed, and in my ear (the one not being kissed) I hear: "What's going on here? Is that Accension or not?"
Those 2 days, I swear girls were too intimidated to talk to me.
Guys kept patting me on the back (past bullies) and this one guy let me cut in front of him, "No he's right- he's right."
However, I did get a ton of stupid love letters stuffed into my bag, which was cool as I was always the dateless loser on valentine's day, and so, had never experienced it.
This is pretty personal stuff, but I figure people take a lot of advice from me, and so, deserve to know I'm real and that the place I've come from is too.
I was a huge, awkward loser in high school.
My first day coincided with a 2-day long, school camp.
During my time away from school, to put it simply, I've become awesome.
Only, everyone at school was yet to know it.
When I got the call from my year-advisor to remind me of the camp the following morning, I was in a hotel-jakoozie with my girlfriend, her friends and a few other girls.
These people are the spawn of lawyer daddies with their trust funds and multiple, foreign cars.
So I'm up partying all night in this ridiculously lavish hotel suite and I'm starting to get vivid flashbacks of a young Accension trying to ask out one of the hot, popular-bitc!-!es from my old, and now current, school.
I must have made a pretty awkward face because one of my friends asked, "What's wrong?" and through much female pestering I finally told them.
It's a credit to my friends that they couldn't imagine it, but that didn't change the fact in less than an hour I'd have to face a group of people that remembered me clearly as the pimple-faced loser I've come to hate.
My girlfriend kind of kicked me and said, "Doesn't this count for anything? Look around you. You're in a rich kid's jakoozie full of girls completely comfortable enough to sit here naked with you. Are you a loser?"
I don't know- am I?
I mean at what point can we let go of the past and completely transcend into a new identity.
I had all the proof in the world just in one room, yet I was holding onto a guy that had died a long time ago (and I'm willing to bet Sosuave does this too).
Anyway, it all kind of hit me.
That guys probably dream about this stuff, and so I needed a pinch- to see if I was awake, so that I could maybe accept this.
I picked a girl at random.
She sat on my lap delighted, which kind of turned me off because as some of you will know, my sister likes to do stuff like that.
Nevertheless, I kissed her and I could tell that she may have been waiting for that kiss a long time- that maybe all the girls there are still waiting.
Then I saw my girlfriend, and she was smiling, but I couldn't understand why.
I looked at her more intently, we locked eyes and I understood: While she'd rather have me to herself, apparently she only wants to make me happy and it's OK for me to be like this.
While everyone's transcendence won't look like a poorly written love story, and perhaps, you won't have such a symbolic moment, you still need to have that moment.
What came after that moment can only be described as proof that my new identity has become a natural part of me.
The morning came and several girls were overly helpful in moving my suitcase into my girlfriend's Chevrolet (I'm at least 50% that's what her car is- not a real engine head myself).
We clocked some speed, due to my girlfriend's apparently suicidal inclinations and pumped an over sized stereo to generic GOA-Trance.
There's girls packed all around me and they seem to like touching me, a lot.
Just as we pull up to a line of luggage-laden kids, it's just a frenzy of girls -- the kind the kids will grow up wanting -- getting that one last kiss, hugging me, licking me and generally acting like they'll never see me again.
As I get out of the car my girlfriend plays womanizer and it's just ridiculously corny in the best possible way.
Everyone gets out of this elegant sports car and I'm basically consumed, and in my ear (the one not being kissed) I hear: "What's going on here? Is that Accension or not?"
Those 2 days, I swear girls were too intimidated to talk to me.
Guys kept patting me on the back (past bullies) and this one guy let me cut in front of him, "No he's right- he's right."
However, I did get a ton of stupid love letters stuffed into my bag, which was cool as I was always the dateless loser on valentine's day, and so, had never experienced it.
This is pretty personal stuff, but I figure people take a lot of advice from me, and so, deserve to know I'm real and that the place I've come from is too.