My disabled friend

[collegeEJ]

I have a friend who got in a car accident his senior year of high school. He had no problems getting girls and we have been best freinds since middle school. He had his right leg amputated after the accident and hasn't had a date since his girlfriend broke up with him ten months after the car wreck (4 years ago).

He wears jeans all the time and no one can even tell that he has a disability.

He doesn't like to go to clubs or bars, but does like to have fun, just sober fun. He is a senior in college and still has a couple of years left because he is going to graduate school.

He is concerned about dating girls because he does not want to mislead them in not knowing about his disability, but he doesn't want to come up front with this right off the bat because a girl might not want to date him because of this issue alone. How does he deal with this unwanted predicament?

 

[ducaro]

I have a friend who got in a car accident his senior year of high school. He had no problems getting girls and we have been best freinds since middle school. He had his right leg amputated after the accident and hasn't had a date since his girlfriend broke up with him ten months after the car wreck (4 years ago).

He wears jeans all the time and no one can even tell that he has a disability.

He doesn't like to go to clubs or bars, but does like to have fun, just sober fun. He is a senior in college and still has a couple of years left because he is going to graduate school.

He is concerned about dating girls because he does not want to mislead them in not knowing about his disability, but he doesn't want to come up front with this right off the bat because a girl might not want to date him because of this issue alone. How does he deal with this unwanted predicament?

I can really understand what your friend must be goig through because I was born without a left hand. It must be even more challenging for him because he was unexpectedly asked to live a life without a leg.

anyway, let me say its about confidence and more importantly being comfortable with yourself.

i found it very hard because people would look at me very oddly. every wandering eye would always look at my 'lack of a hand' so this is what i did... i went and got myself an artificial hand.. and i agree it was the most stupid move I had ever made. so i faced it.

i decided to boldly walk around with my arm in the open. my hair was thinning, so i shaved it off.. so here you have a man who is 'disabled', bald and yet a confident person from within who accepts reality and lives with it. result: people started getting comfortable with me esp the HB's!

tip: nature can be cruel, but don't be disheartened and try and fight it back'

ask your friend to accept reality and ask him to respect/love his body anyway. let him not be scared, and he will see the results

 

[bob2007]

Go rent murderball. One of my fav documentaries based on handicapped athletes who have huge confidence / get decent looking women.

 

[killbill]

Sounds like he lost alot of his old confidence. I would recommend him to try and muster up some confidence. As for the leg, just bring it up casually. During a conversation he could talk about his car accident and how his leg was amputated.

thats a good idea, for him

Your friend needs to find his confidence before he just goes out and tries to pick up chicks, or hes going to get blown away. He doesnt need to be 100% confident but atleast a little man.

Anyways that sucks to hear man. I hope he meets some hotties.

 

[Last Man Standing]

I can really understand what your friend must be goig through because I was born without a left hand. It must be even more challenging for him because he was unexpectedly asked to live a life without a leg.

anyway, let me say its about confidence and more importantly being comfortable with yourself.

i found it very hard because people would look at me very oddly. every wandering eye would always look at my 'lack of a hand' so this is what i did... i went and got myself an artificial hand.. and i agree it was the most stupid move I had ever made. so i faced it.

i decided to boldly walk around with my arm in the open. my hair was thinning, so i shaved it off.. so here you have a man who is 'disabled', bald and yet a confident person from within who accepts reality and lives with it. result: people started getting comfortable with me esp the HB's!

tip: nature can be cruel, but don't be disheartened and try and fight it back'

ask your friend to accept reality and ask him to respect/love his body anyway. let him not be scared, and he will see the results

Now I understand why you make so many errors in your typing! Seriously though, you have to overcome that which you have no control of!! There is a certain crowd that rejects you immediately, but you have to "game" those that do accept you with your shortcomings (no pun intended!).

 

[JohnnyXX]

He has to not feel insecure about his leg. Others will follow his lead. If he feels down or inferior about it, people will pick up on it. However, if he is totally ok with it, other people will be too.

Remember his leg doesn't stop him from having value. If he is a cool guy, confident, fun and exciting, people will want to be around him. (he has to work on his game too, so he's not seen as an entertainer).

An example of a guy who isn't stopped by his disability was on uk big brother in 2006. This guy had tourettes, but still got all the girls. Check him out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI3qP3A0a5I

And like you said, people can't even tell he has one leg!

 

[mintxx]

you know there's this guy called Adam Hills: born without a right foot and the biggest sex symbol going down my way.

 

[Gamblor]

My heart goes out to your friend and although I know it is much easier said than done, once he can accept and be comfortable with himself the world will accept and become comfortable with him.

 

[Rudra]

Some days ago I saw a documentary about some 30 y.o. soldier guy that lost a leg and an arm in the war in Chechnya.
Former sports champ (sambo wrestling), he was absolutely devastated for half a year or so. Wife left him straight away to boot. Thought of killing himself. And by listening to the guy talk and look at his face you could tell that this one tough mofo has really been to hell and come back... and he managed to pull himself out and go back to sports.
This guy is skiing, sky diving, cycling and swimming, doing sports every day, taking part in championships for the handicapped.. this was one of the most inspiring things I have seen for a long time... for me, a penultimate show of being a man. Grabbing ones balls and getting a hold on yourself whatEVER life is throwing at you.

I guess stuff along that way could help motivate your friend a lot.