"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My day today : At the beach

BongDuy

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okay so i was just at the beach, with my friends and i start joking about meeting "p.y.t.s" and so we head over to where all the younger attractive girls hang out. i start noticing they are all with bigger, buffer guys, so i search carefully for girls either by themselves or just with other girls. i saw these two girls in the shallow area, and i head over there, and im thinking of openers or just things to get the convo flowing, and its hard. when i get there say the first thing that comes to mind and initiate a little kino by lightly touching both girls on the shoulders from behind ( they were facing away)

Me: Hey, do i know you two?
Girl 1: *smiling* no i dont think you do
Girl 2: yeah i don't either * smiling like kinda awkward*
Me: Oh so you aren't around here are you?
Girl 1: Oh no, we're not
Girl 2: We're actually from Orlando, but we came from here
Me: So you two ladies left this beautiful beach for Orlando?
*awkward laugh from all three of us*
Me: So who are you guys with?
Girl 1: it's just us two, we're waiting on some friends.


This is where things go downhill.. i somehow mind fart and lose everything i just built

Me: oh, uhm.. would you two like to meet my friends?
girl 2: well maybe later, we're waiting on some friends


*facepalm* :mad:

so this was kinda my first approach ive actually had ever since reading up on some articles from this site. I wouldn't say it was great, but afterwards i felt a little more confident. unfourtunately my friends wanted to head elsewhere, so i didn't get much practice. however, i noticed something about the eye contact and smile. ITS VERY TRUE!!! It works! Although it was difficult to make eye contact with girls that had "Shades" on, because i can't see their eyes. well me and my friends were walking one way, and we walk inbetween a group of, say 5 girls and two guys, and i made eye contact with this one girl ( easily HB8!!) and i looked her straight in the eyes and smiled! THEN SHE SMILED BACK! made me feel so great :rock:

I just would like some critique about meeting women at the beach, because i just got thrown off. let me know what i did wrong, and some tips please =)

EDIT: im 17, asian, a guy, so yeah, just a little information about me hitting on older chicks.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scars

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You didn't build enough rapport before asking "do you want to meet my friends". At least you had the balls to approach. I give you props for that. You should of fluff talked a little more and through in some negs. You didn't do anything that qualified yourself or disqualified them. Show your ****yness and get them laughing. Then work on getting them to feel comfortable around you and trust you. Then you could of totally ended with "Well, maybe when your friends get here we can introduce you guys to our friends." Or something of the like..
 

BongDuy

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thanks for the tips! I was really nervous because ive read many openers on how to meet women on the mall or class, but at the beach i was really intimidated by the other guys around me. I should of asked their names at least and definitely should of added to the small talk
 

BongDuy

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What do you guys think about the girl who smiled back at me? I was walking in the opposite direction she was, and we made eye contact and i got a smile from her. we didn't break eye contact until i went behind her. how could i have approached her? remember she was with like 5 other girls, and 2 guys at the beach
 

Speculator E

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BongDuy said:
What do you guys think about the girl who smiled back at me? I was walking in the opposite direction she was, and we made eye contact and i got a smile from her. we didn't break eye contact until i went behind her. how could i have approached her? remember she was with like 5 other girls, and 2 guys at the beach
She felt you were decent looking enough to smile at. A smile means she might be open to you talking to her. However, since she's in a group, it makes it more difficult.

How could you have approached her? One way is to grow some balls and just dive in.

You sound like you have potential. My advice: You don't have to approach every girls that give you eye contact and a smile. Just let it go and consider your ego being stroked.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Speculator E

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BongDuy said:
How could i of approached the situation? Could I have waited till she went to the water and introduced myself or something?
No, that's just creepy and stalking. On top of that, your introduction and approach is boring. Work on getting better at that first.
 

daygameguy

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Girls will smile a lot because that's what they do. They WOO us. Don't pay attention to that.. just remain calm and laid back and shoot the sh1t - teasing mostly and some dominant escalation if possible.

I applaud you for your approach. Just take it one step at a time.
 

BongDuy

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daygameguy said:
Girls will smile a lot because that's what they do. They WOO us. Don't pay attention to that.. just remain calm and laid back and shoot the sh1t - teasing mostly and some dominant escalation if possible.

more detail? we we're walking in opposite directions on the shore, so unless i stopped, turned around and walked up to her, chances are i wouldn't see her anywhere else but the water.
 

daygameguy

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well OK.. I understand. I mean you did try. But I assume you have posted this for feedback, so I have to say your questions were a bit needy and AFCish. There wasn't enough interest built up for them to stop their plans and go meet your friends (complying to your request).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BongDuy

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yeah, i realized i kinda hit the "meet my friends" button a bit earlier, but thats because i was really nervous.

what about the smiling girl? okay in general, pretend you're walking down to your destination and you walk pass by a girl who smiles at you and looks you dead in the eyes until you two pass each other. how would you go and introduce yourself? would you just go up to her and do it yourself?
 

daygameguy

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Well, let me share an experience. This one time, few years back, I was feeling really good mentally and physically, and I was with my family, we had just entered the lobby of a resort, moving to the restaurant for dinner.

I noticed this hot girl isolated from her parents. They were at the counter and weren't in direct view.

So basically, I had the swagger. So she noticed me, and kept looking in my direction. I didn't hold ANY eye contact. I seemed to be in my own headspace moving along my own path to the restaurant. She kept on looking. From my peripheral vision I could see her turn.

We finished eating, and as I was just smiling a lot and listening to my parents talk, and then I noticed her, again thru side peripferal vision, walking out of the same venue with her parents, and my sis nudged me saying, she is just continuously staring at you:) and I was like.. I know.

But that's about it. I couldn't leave my family, cuz I have never gamed in front of my parents. So that eventually made her loose the interest, and I didn't notice such a stare at the breakfast buffet next morning. lol

... this was way before I learnt anything about pickup.. so I was like "This is why I'm hot!" :D


So basically, you know, the moral is, moments like these, you must enjoy... have fun with it... do anything you want with it... but it IS advisable to take SOME action.. or eventually she'll go look for someone else.
 
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