"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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My current situation - girl gossip

Axcell

Master Don Juan
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I have a question about a current situation I am in. I met a girl about 2-3 months ago, we started talking, I developed great rapport with her - however it should be noted that I just wanted to be friends with her... I actually had a thing for one of her friends.
I talked to her friend, I followed all guidelines, and I got her to confess that she liked me... but I made a mistake by telling her I liked her too which completely turned her off (I realize this mistake now.) My question is not about how NOT to tell a girl you like her too soon, I want to know what to do and how to talk to this girl/ how to act around this girl once she doesn't want me anymore... despite the fact that I know there are many fish in the sea, what would I need to do to ensure that she comes running back to me?
In this board, all I see are posts that say "They are many fish in the sea, just move on." But let's just say I wanted her to come back to me, what would I do and how do I talk to her now? I mean, I know it cannot be too hard for her to confess her feelings for me, obviously I will play the game right this time.
She is always around other guys, I've just tried to go around other girls.. but it doesn't bother her. At the moment, we never talk anymore... I have been telling her I have been very busy recently, etc. In short, I am somewhat ignoring her and letting her know I have moved on. Do I still use ****y humor with her when I see her? How do I act around her? I just want to know how to talk to her now... because she always leaves me text messages, "you never talk to me anymore!"

Second part, Now thing is that her best friend asked me if I had a thing for anybody, in which I lied to her and told her no. (Obviously because I knew she would tell the girl I liked) However, when I confessed my feelings for this other girl AFTER she told me that she liked me... she immediately told her best friend, and hence, at this moment, this girl completely hates me because "I lied to her.. and betrayed her trust" I have learned about "****y humour" and not to be so much of a nice guy... but the problem is that this girl is going around saying "Nick you have changed.. your such an ass now." They say that because I was a somewhat "nice guy" before.. and I haver made sure not to appear as an *******, Im 100% sure I do not come clean as that.. but this girl is making it appear that I am to all these other women I know. And she is TOTALLY ruining all my chances with the girls i know because she is telling all of them how much of a crappy guy I am and influencing them not to talk to me. What do I do about that? And yes, this girl is a somewhat "gossip" girl, and has high influential powers on a lot of potential dating partners.

I know it is alot of questions - but many of your readers might be going through the same thing so I hope you can answer all my questions.

I REALLY appreciate a fast reply, as I am seeing this girl sometime soon.
Nick.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Kevin Cass

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your solution is obvious

i think that you don't have another chance with this girl and to just move on. everybody has been telling you that there are other fish in the sea.

see this is your problem.

you expect people to help you in getting a girl when there is no chance you can get with her, not only is her friend a ****ing bitc that spreads sht. you confessed your love for her and she got turned off. i don't really understand how that happens..you say

"I got her to confess that she liked me... but I made a mistake by telling her I liked her too"

listen if two people like each other then they go out on dates and have a relationship and other things. i don't understand how that turned her off?
*i just got an idea, maybe she told you, she likes you in order to see if you liked her..*

I still don't know why you would want to go out with a girl that gets turned off after knowing you like her..seriously man have a higher standard on girls.

all I am saying is that just try to forget about her but don't tell yourself i gotta forget about her i gotta forget about her because that will just make it worse..just do other things talk to other girls and you will see she is not worth it..plus her friends a bitc.

peace:cool:

ps. ****ing listen to those people that say there are other fish in the sea. there probably ur friends and want the best for you:up:
 

Venusian Artist

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Things to take your mind off of her:

a) meet NEW girls (I STRONGLY suggest this one)

b) list all of the things you don't like about her

c) list all of the negative effects that would take place if you went out... e.g. do people know her as a bit of a sl**?
 

Venusian Artist

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Another possibility... You say she is c***blocking you with all of her mates? Why would someone get SO worked up about you that they go around spreading stuff about you?! WTF has her mate said to her? This isn't natural, it wouldn't surprise me if this f****** b**** friend of hers has told her something like "oh my god, that Nick said he thinks you are a total cow"...

Lol notice my aggression towards her friend, I have been in a VERY similar position where this was the case.
 

Venusian Artist

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Maybe the fact that you are ignoring her has something to do with this?? If she sends you a text asking why you never talk to her anymore, she OBVIOUSLY cares... SPEAK to her, damn it, if you are not in the LJBF zone, SPEAK TO HER! :D If you are in this zone however, freeze-out like tactics are often used.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Poonani Maker

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Look, I made the same mistake with a gal that I really connected with and began to love (it was just something about her face and innocent/honest personality that made me think of me - I love me and she made me love me even more), but I let her know my interest even to the point of discussing marriage with her. Now a year later, I've been on the lookout for a replacement or almost exact replica of her (in looks, in dollish demeanor, honest personality) and I've found 4 to 5 women who somewhat match her, but One just recently (a waitress I spotted at lunch last week) that could be her twin (just a little darker hair) no lie, and I intend on pursuing and finding out more about her in the coming weeks (stopping in for lunch or for business purposes). So the main thing is if you've found your prototype, there will be others manufactured from the penises and vaginas of others that will virtually be an exact replica for you to try another attempt. Half the battle is knowing what you want in a woman. It makes your true affection that much easier or natural to convey (mostly through non-verbal body language, not want you say) to her when you find her again.
 

Axcell

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Thanks a lot for the advice guys, keep it up.. I look forward to other responses. :)
However, I just wanted to know what would you do if you still wanted to get this girl, because I know there are many fish in the sea.. but just if I wanted to get with this girl.. how would I go about doing that?
And how do I deal with her friend?

@ Kevin Cass - See, the thing is that when I was talking to her she told me she liked "2 guys.." Now obviously from the way she talked to me, I knew I was one of those guys, and I knew who the other guys was because I saw both of them talk together ALOT. However, I played the game right... I made her always come to me and I created attraction, and like she absoultely fell for me and even forgot about the guy. One day she tells me she likes me, and I tell her I like her too... but than she starts saying "Well, I am not ready for a relationship blah blah.." We all know what that means, it is not the fact that she isn't ready for a relationship, it is the fact that she got turned off the moment she found out I liked her. The game is that the moment they realize you want them, they do not want you anymore. Timing is everything guys - if you tell a girl you like her too soon, you appear too easy for her... and I guess I should have said something smoother such as, "Well I like you too.. but than again, I don't go around to every girl I meet and tell her I like her, they need to earn that." :) Etc etc... that was just something I thought of from the top of my head, I could think of a better one.

@ Venusian Artist - I would not say I was ignoring her, I was just not paying as much attention to her anymore. Obviously when she said hi, I said hi back, etc. When she started a conversation, I would carry it out... just not as interesting or as interested as before - to let her know I don't feel the same way towards her anymore. I remember I saw her 2 weeks ago, and she was talking to a friend and I had a whole crows of girls around me, and it was leaving time so the girls were leaving one my one from my circle, till there was 2 more girls. The ex-girl I liked, approached the 3 of us and started a conversation, till it was just her and one girl I was talking too, and me. I just said something like "Ugh! You guys are boring the daylights out of me, I should get going.. chow." Made it short and simple - to the other girl it appeared pretty ****y and funny, cause I gave her a good smile/grin after I said that... but I wanted to give the message to the other girl that I am not a piece of luggage and I won't sit there till they finish talking.

Besides, what do I talk to her about? How do I go about winning back her love for me.. if it was ever there. By the way, if it helps, she is one of those popular, somewhat bratty girls, but she has a nice innocent twist towards her face. But I am main concerned about high school gossip... how do you deal with my situation? Do I tell her friend to stop? Because the stuff I am hearing this from is all the girls/guys I am very close too, and each and every one of them told me not to betray their trust my telling her the stuff I have heard... I don't know what do! Every time I see her, she pretends like nothing is wrong... and she is VERY close to the ex-girl I liked.

Pretty long message, appreciate anybody who tried to help me out!
Nick.
 
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