My confidence just fell into the danger zone...

[FadedStripes]

Hello Everyone I hope you guys welcome women here.

Im here for some input on my situation...I think I totally screwed up.

I'm interested in this guy who is attractive and has a great personality.

I assumed he was pretty outgoing, since he seems to have a lot of friends and gets along with everyone.

Until I found out he was pretty quiet, and reserved...at least around me he was. He spoke to me first anyway. We had a short convo that lasted less than 4 minutes. After that we had other sporadic conversations that all lasted less than 4 minutes because we were heading off in different directions. I also barely see him anyway.

I've tried setting up outings for him and some of my friends to hang out but he declined all of them. He had something else to do.

He never asked for my phone number, never asked me to hang out, never flirted with me. I mean, I asked him to hang out already. But the phone number asking guys should initiate first (would be creepy for a girl asking for a guys number :nervous

I'm sure if I was bothering him or annoying him he wouldve stopped waving to me and saying anything more than a simple hello. Or just called me an annoying creep and f*** off. He spoke to me first anyway. If he wouldnt have said anything to me in the first place, I wouldve never noticed him.

Now my feelings are hurt And I feel like an idiot. I read into all these 'signs' when they really didnt mean anything.
I dont know if he sensed that I liked him or if someone told him.

It seems like I always like the weird ones and always attract the creepy ones. If I was a dude, this relationship stuff wouldve been so much easier...[because I wouldve used this site as a resource lol]

 

[DonJuan11]

Make sure your name signifies you are a girl. I thought different until I read your thread a few times.

 

[FadedStripes]

oops

Oh...I'm sorry

 

[Interceptor]

faded, why do you think he's "creepy"?
Why do use that term for this guy, when you yourself don't know what's going on?

 

[CORVETTE06]

change ur name to like miss butterflies or something so we know ur a chick

i thought i was readin a gay dudes post.

anyway,

sounds like he might not be interested

There are girls who ask me to hang out (who I stop and talk to when I see them) but i make an excuse if Im not interested in them.

I would never tell a girl to **** off. I would just be polite about it. Maybe thats what he's doing?

but who cares, its his loss! Theres 1,000 of other guys who would be happy to be wit u

If you really dont want to let him go, and u want him then find another dude. get wit him and act really happy wit him. then he will see how great u are and he will wish he chilled wit u wen u asked.

 

[FadedStripes]

faded, why do you think he's "creepy"?
Why do use that term for this guy, when you yourself don't know what's going on?

I never said he was creepy.

When I said I attract the creepy ones I wasnt refering to him but past people who liked me.

 

[FadedStripes]

I know this isnt related, but do I need to make a new account or contact the moderator to change my username.

 

[Interceptor]

Great.
Thanks for your candor.

Faded, I feel this guy is just very insecure around women.
I believe he is inexpereinced and thus, feels insecure in approaching you.
Since he has a low skill level in interacting with females, you are noticing somehwat immature, and uncalibrated behvior by him.

He is just prpbably painfully shy, insecure, and has zero expereince with females.

He's probably NOT "creepy" or weird at all.

He jsut doesn't want look like a fool in front of you.

Many males do not have the confidenc to put themselves and their Ego on the line.

hence, why so many males never approcah you even if they like you.

They fear you'll invalidate them as a man, and destroy the little confidence they have in themselves

 

[Interceptor]

I know this isnt related, but do I need to make a new account or contact the moderator to change my username.

NO, don't worry about it.
If you stick around long enough , the members will remember you're female.

Don't sweat it.

Trust me, a lot of guys are here to help anybody, male or female.

 

[punchitchewy]

I've tried setting up outings for him and some of my friends to hang out but he declined all of them. He had something else to do.

He never asked for my phone number, never asked me to hang out, never flirted with me. I mean, I asked him to hang out already. But the phone number asking guys should initiate first (would be creepy for a girl asking for a guys number :nervous

There's a strong chance he's not that into you for whatever reason. A lot of guys will never blatantly tell a shy girl to fvck off because she really isn't intruding that much on his life.

The other possibility is that there are logistical circumstances that are getting in the way. For example, a lot of guys in a college dorm won't date a girl on their floor because they know if it doesn't work things will get awkward afterwards. Maybe he's dating other girls at the moment that you don't know about.

Either way it's a good idea to forget about him in the mean time and to not allow this to affect your confidence. Surely there's other guys you're interested in.

Provide some more details about him or the situation if you're still unsure.

 

[FadedStripes]

I really dont know much about him.

Me and him attended the same schools for almost 5 years and now he wants to start speaking to me. We were even in the same course for 2 years.

All the other guys were rude to me so I was kind of expecting the same thing. I've gotten some pretty nasty stuff said to my face.

 

[steeltoeboots]

sounds to me like you haven't had much experience with guys.

I'm not an expertee like everyone else that comes to this website multiple times a day but here is my input.

he doesn't ask you anything because he is not interested in you. Either that or he hasn't dealt with girls, much like you and the guys.
And you think girls asking for a guy's phone number is creepy? man, if girls asked for guys phone numbers, this forum would've been so much different! Life would be so much easier. If a girl asked for my number, it would either tell me that she is outgoing and/or she knows what she wants. Basically, she knows what she is doing.

Don't read into too much 'signs' and bullcrap. it just makes you look like you're always on the alert. not very attractive. meanings of signs will come to you naturally. just practice by going out on dates with other guys. You have no time to waste on this dude if he can't handle you.

IF you can't let him go, be outgoing....That's if he chooses not to be the man. You'll realize one day that you'd want a real man that can take charge and make the first initiation. Talking to you first don't mean jack sh!t. If i would've came up to you, chit chat with you for 5 min and leave without asking for your number, would you be wondering every single night who is he? what does he do? where can i see him again? no, you'll end up fvcked in the head. don't be that person. just do it if you think that's the right thing to do.
my suggestion to you is let him go and find some other guy because he isn't going to come to you. if you can't let him go, add him on myspace or something. stop wondering and do what you gotta do.

 

[Obsidian]

would be creepy for a girl asking for a guys number :nervous:

No, it wouldn't be creepy; you're just too much of a wimp to do it. But that's ok, you're a girl. You're not supposed to be tough.

And yeah, if he were interested in you and if he were worthy of your time, he as a MAN would get your phone number or make some effort to interact with you. He's obviously NOT INTERESTED WHATSOEVER in you. You are simply overdramatizing a completely typical, unromantic, uninteresting situation and blowing it way out of proportion simply to give yourself an emotional high.

If you want a real man, take the following steps:
1. Make sure you're not fat
2. Don't try to boss men around
3. Hang out in locations where guys with similar interests will be
4. Don't go after guys just because they're popular. Most real men don't give a f*ck about popularity anyway.

and preferably,
5. Don't have sex outside of marriage

 

[Obsidian]

oh yeah, and if your self-confidence and sense of self-worth are based on whether or not one particular guy asks you out, you have some serious issues

Why don't you go find God or take up a political cause or something so you'll have some deeper meaning in your life. Or maybe learn an instrument.

 

[JDA70]

Hello Everyone I hope you guys welcome women here.

Some do.

But the phone number asking guys should initiate first (would be creepy for a girl asking for a guys number )

People ask and exchange number all the time.
It's not creepy. Get that out of your mind.] :trouble:

It seems like I always like the weird ones
and always attract the creepy ones.

Like what do you mean creepy?

If I was a dude, this relationship stuff wouldve been so much easier.

Hmmm... I don't know about that, women are most of the time vixenish. J/K

:rock:

 

[Obsidian]

believe me, I'm a dude, and healthy relationships are NOT easy for me to come by

For that matter, it seems like I hardly know anyone in my own generation who has an actual healthy relationship with a girl (which doesn't involve cheating from one party or b1tching and feminist crap from the female)

 

[romangod]

Until I found out he was pretty quiet, and reserved...at least around me he was. He spoke to me first anyway. We had a short convo that lasted less than 4 minutes. After that we had other sporadic conversations that all lasted less than 4 minutes because we were heading off in different directions. I also barely see him anyway.


It sounds like he's "not that into you". Don't get your hopes too high. Good luck.

 

[Alphamale1821]

i notice you didn't mention how you look. Would you consider yourself attractive.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Don't EVER look for a relationship until your confidence and self-esteem is in a healthy state. Make yourself happy with yourself and happy with life before you ever consider inviting anyone else to join the party.

Reasons:
1. You will end up settling for less that your worth.
2. You will attract the wrong type of significant other.
3. You will become emotionally dependent on them for happiness and validation.