"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Conclusion

zekko

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As I've said before, I work with a pretty large amount of people, in addition to the people I know socially. Ever since I've been studying this seduction community stuff, I've been observing the people around me pretty closely with all that in mind. I've come to this conclusion:

You can't NOT get laid. It isn't possible.
Unless you are so socially inept that it is beyond words.
And even then you have a fairly good chance.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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st_99

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Everybody gets laid here and there. I think the main point of all this is to have the feeling that you are in control of your dating, sex, relationship, opposite sex, life to some extent.

The AFC feels out of control in this area and is blowing with the wind.
 

zekko

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Danger said:
I agree with this. Anyone can get laid. Of course, the quality and quantity can be greatly affected by game.
Yes.

st_99 said:
Everybody gets laid here and there. I think the main point of all this is to have the feeling that you are in control of your dating, sex, relationship, opposite sex, life to some extent.

The AFC feels out of control in this area and is blowing with the wind.
Yes.
 

Zarky

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I donno man, probably 90% of the dudes I've ever met are with a woman because they (the dudes) have no ability to get anything better. If most guys couldn't help but getting laid this would not be the case. I think sex is really quite difficult for the average guy to get without jumping through a LOT of hoops.
 

zekko

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Zarky said:
I think sex is really quite difficult for the average guy to get without jumping through a LOT of hoops
If you wait long enough it will come to you.

You may not get laid as often as you like, or with as hot a girl as you like, or with as nice a girl as you like, but you will get laid.
What's that Mick Jagger said? You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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runner83

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Zarky said:
I donno man, probably 90% of the dudes I've ever met are with a woman because they (the dudes) have no ability to get anything better. If most guys couldn't help but getting laid this would not be the case. I think sex is really quite difficult for the average guy to get without jumping through a LOT of hoops.
Personally, I agree with Zarky.

Quite difficult for the average guy to get s!x on a regular basis without getting trapped into something (e.g. exclusive relationship, or living together) and then deluding himself that is what makes him happy.
 

Colossus

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^^ Same could be said for the average woman with regards to settling. The difference is once a girl creeps into the 7 range she has considerably more buying power in the dating market. That changes as they age though. With men, a stud is a stud, no matter how old he is.
 

backbreaker

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i did not come here becuase i could not get laid. I came here becuase I wanted to get laid, by who I wanted to get laid by, when I wanted it, on my terms. I wanted full control over that aspect of my life, not, lucky if i'm getting any this week, damned if i'm not.
 

zekko

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runner83 said:
Quite difficult for the average guy to get s!x on a regular basis without getting trapped into something (e.g. exclusive relationship, or living together) and then deluding himself that is what makes him happy.
My point was that it's practically impossible not to get laid (once you get to a certain age anyway). I wasn't saying there is a guaranteed endless supply of rotating fresh hotties that line up at every guy's door. But every blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.

The other thing I notice is that if you aren't into the relationship thing, there is an absolutely astounding number of sluts out there who are always looking for fresh meat. I see it every day.

Backbreaker said:
i did not come here becuase i could not get laid. I came here becuase I wanted to get laid, by who I wanted to get laid by, when I wanted it, on my terms. I wanted full control over that aspect of my life, not, lucky if i'm getting any this week, damned if i'm not.
Yes. That's the difference.
Well, I don't know if "full" control is possible actually (depending on what your wants are), but you can at least get increased control.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Zarky

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zekko said:
The other thing I notice is that if you aren't into the relationship thing, there is an absolutely astounding number of sluts out there who are always looking for fresh meat. I see it every day.
Point me to those, please :D In my experience only a very, very small percentage of women are looking for NSA sex. I'm serious, tell me where you see those types. I'm not doubting they exist, I just wanna know where to look :yes:
 

omkara

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If you're cut off from society, it's really really tough. I used to have a good looking girlfriend in highschool and was considered a pretty cool guy in my circle of friends. And then I messed it all up somehow and traveled overseas and then moved around several places in the US. Not to mention that I have little in common with most people. If you start to get estranged from society, you can start to lose confidence in yourself socially and it's very hard to come back. (This is really only true for guys, because if you are a girl people will try to draw you out).

I appreciate your observation, but it also comes from your world, where you work in a large company, and people you know through your circle of friends. There are probably many people who are just cut off from society that you don't even know about.
 

zekko

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Zarky said:
Point me to those, please
Come to my town. You really don't know any sleazy girls? I think we must have more than our share. Personally, I find them a huge turnoff. I'm sure I would have loved them when I was a teenager though.

One such girl I know, 21 years old, initiated and seduced a 51 year old guy I know a few months back. The dude even strikes me as fairly desperate. Just going by looks, she's pretty attractive - young, nice body, probably a solid 7. I just can't see her as attractive though, in light of her behavior, because she is such a wh0re.

omkara said:
If you're cut off from society, it's really really tough
Yeah, if you've isolated yourself it's probably pretty tough. You've got to be out operating in society, getting some exposure. Like you say, I work with a large number of people. And there's a lot of hanky panky going on.

Anyway, the point is, if you put yourself out there, nature will take its course.
 

Jeffst1980

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Definitely true, but that's hopefully not the goal we seek here.

My goal to be nailing 10s with great personalities--I don't have much use for a slvtty 6 these days. Everything I do self-improvement wise is with this goal in mind--I'm not there yet, but I still enjoy the process.

Most of my girls are in the 7-8 range, with an occasional 9 (I work in entertainment). I don't dip any lower than a 7, and I don't mess with slvts, crazies, or friends. I definitely hit dry spells every now and again, but they're of my own creation; when you refuse to relax your standards or commit to any one girl, you're not going to have the stability of consistent sex. That's ok.

I find the community stuff to be a bit dated and overcomplicated in general. I like some of what RSD teaches, and really like Jon Sinn's stuff. As with anything else, too much reading will actually hamper your game quite a bit. My best nights are always the ones where I am the most "present" and aggressive.


I do think that there is a subset of guys that truly CAN'T get laid--mostly, the socially inept guys that you mention. There are A LOT of them out there, though. There are also a lot of guys that are well- calibrated socially but haven't a clue how to act as more than a "friend" to a girl. These are MAJOR stumbling blocks to getting laid- even worse than approach anxiety.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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