My chump story

[Life-Trainee]

Hello, people. I'm 21m and I had no long term relationships with women. Although, I did have a few sexual flings with a slutty girl co-worker. Beyond that, I've never really asked anyone out much, due to the fear of saying or doing something stupid. So i haven't got a great AFC story for you, sorry. I'm one of these over-analytical people who study the game field before jumping into the action, hence, I withheld any attemps to dating. After reading this site and various books, I think I have a basic idea of how to proceed. And i've got few opportunities on the map.
There is a case scenario that I had trouble researching. How do you approach classmates or people who you already kind of know? There's this girl in one of my classes in college. Literature class to be specific. She's an elusive entity. I haven't seen her anywhere around campus except for this class. In the beginning of the semester I used to sit close to where she usually sits and we would "unintentioanlly" sit together. There was this one time when i noticed that she was taking notes on the inside cover of the book during a lecture, so I offered her a paper to take notes on. She kindly rejected. Now she sits couple of rows back and away from me. So my attempts to sit next to her would look oh to intentional. Now, i'm not convinced that she's the love of my life and yadda yadda yadda, but she has nice body. Not much in facial department but everything else is in order. I'd date her for experience's sake. Now, I haven't talked to her as i'm really bad at being sociable with women. (I rarely find anything to talk about with my friends'' girlfriends) The only time I can talk to her is if I catch her on the way out after the class. Should I just pop the question or is further social lubrication required? There's a chance that she'll think I'm some creep, because I tend to excite that notion in people who dont know me. But that's besides the point. I want to execute this attempt with most chance of success. Now for some background info. She's really into the books that we're reading, so I bet there's an opportunity for a convo that I'm missing. Alright, I hope you had fun reading. Anxious to hear your suggestions.

 

[Hubris]

I say sit next to her in class. Who cares if it looks intentional? She's not going to 'prepare a defence' to your advances or anything.

Just sit next to her, and talk about whatever you would've talked about. It'll give her a chance to get used to you being near her, and it affordes you much more opportunity to talk about stuff.

Remember, ****y and funny.

 

[Trance]

You have to feel deep inside you that you've got something to offer, you've got to feel that you're coming to her all smiling, all confident. Girls notice your atitude.
I really have no problems in being obvious with a girl im interested, that i already know. And if she doesnt show interest back, i just flirt with the next one, and she will notice it for sure.

 

[Life-Trainee]

You guys are right. I'm still not out of the mindset "what other people think of me". Especially, when it used to be a huge part of my personality. I'm furiously trying to break myself off of these habits. Last week I had to do a class presentation. I was trembling like a french soldier (no offense to french people) on the inside. I've been really hating myself for that. I think at this point, I care less of what strangers think of me. However, when it comes to people who kind of know me, it's a whole different story. I can successfully look in strangers eyes in the street with a cold or warm stare until they turn away. I don't get much smiles from girls on that front because I must look like Hannibal Lector when I do that. Well, i'll keep on trying.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

From your description, you seem to have a scary presence. Why is that?

When you approach women you have to come off as casual and natural and not as if your life depended on it and don't look as if u r forcing yourself to have a conversation and don't act as if u r a stalker. You don't have to sit next to this girl to have a convo...just approaching on a familiar topic (class), if she has a colld reaction to your question or convo then u know that she is not interested in any other form of interaction.

 

[rrrrr]

Once I had a girl in my class who would watch me when I left, came in, etc. So halfway through the semester, I decided to sit by her, but the seats were taken by her, so I sat in the front row, the next day a seat was available next to her and I took it, and she loved it you could tell, I was in. I couldn't get her to shut up after that.

I have found that the best way for a girl to show interest in me is to actually put myself out there and see if they return.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I must've described my appearance in a wrong light now that I think of it. As a matter of fact, I consider myself quite cute. It's definately the way i act, facial expressions is not someting I have yet mastered to the full extent. However, i am a strange person to some extent. Definatelly not like other guys. I'm a sort of geek (CS major), but i dont look like one. Let's just say, my looks don't match my personality and it confuses people. Sometimes I may appear very sociable, and other time I may completely miss a cue to a good convo with either guys or girls. Also, wearing all black most of the time (not intentional, i should go out to do some shopping) probably assigns me a stereotype that goes with my personality.