"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Bremuda Triangle moment

The Comeback Kid

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As you guys probably know, the Bremuda Triangle is an area in the Atlantic Ocean (lower east coast of US) where all signals are lost. Planes have gone missing, there's no trace of anything, and everything is sort of surreal.

This past summer, I had a great internship and was able to do a lot. For almost a month, we moved a few hours away into a rural area (a college located in the middle of nowhere). While my production work-wise was solid as it should be (I was offered to come back next year), my social skills...well, it really reminded me of the Bremuda Triangle. I'll list what "off things" I did at this barren place......and then how I've been considered to normally act. How I acted for this month is in italics, how I act normally is in plain text:

-I mumbled a lot, enough that I could say something to an intern near me and they wouldn't hear it; basically they thought I was just muttering to myself sometimes......meanwhile, my friends consider me a "leader" of our group because of my communication skills and my clarity when going through certain situations.
-My awareness of things outside of actual work was not very good. I'd do something good work-wise, then do something clueless non-work related. I couldn't see through things......meanwhile, things usually don't catch me off guard these days (everywhere except where I was working). I've been getting much better at seeing problems before they actually happen.
-My wit was spotty. Sometimes it took me awhile to come up with a comeback, or I'd just be really off (awkward-like)......meanwhile, my good friend and roommate at college feels I'm exceptionally good at small-talk and can come up with a clever answer for anything.
-I was acting before thinking in a lot of social situations at this middle-of-nowhere place. It was funny how off I'd be on something, such as jumping into the middle of a conversation I didn't hear some of (not embarrassing, but not at all close to being spot-on)......I've noticed I normally think before acting most of the time lately, and things will go smoothly.
-In terms of girls (since that's what the forum is for), the girl I liked there was only trying to play games with me, and the other girls I met there would be very "hot and cold" when I was around them, and my humor wasn't working. I felt like I couldn't win......so far this year at school, things are going much more "normally." I can talk to any girl, things go smoothly, I can get girls to laugh, and so far I have some possibilities starting to form.

I'm not trying to come off as conceited or arrogant here, I'm just trying to write things as they are so you get a better understanding. Basically, I consider myself to be good socially. However, I was somewhat of a wreck here. I'm not sure if it was a confidence thing (hanging out with people I got along with but weren't really buddies with) or a fatigue things (didn't get a ton of sleep, we worked every day) or maybe something else.

I was wondering what do you think happened here, and how should I better prepare myself for things like this in the future?
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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The Comeback Kid

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I know this is kind of of strange situation to be bringing up, but I would be interested in any input.

Looking back, as I said before, it was like I hit some sort of social lull. I was a bit slower with my wit, my humor was off, I was mumbling or speaking not-as-clearly more often than I normally do, I wasn't as aware of my surroundings as I am during most other times, and I had trouble getting a rapport going with some of my female peers (with my bosses and superiors I was normal/fine).

All of these things only seemed to happen during the month of the internship where we were in this middle-of-nowhere area. At school and at home, I'm a different person. Any ideas as to what could have cause my social issues here?
 

Vice

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I'm having trouble figuring out what you're trying to communicate. Try re-writing your post so what you do normally and what you do when you were acting weird are clearly distinguished from each other. It's hard telling the difference.
 

The Comeback Kid

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How I was acting during my month during the internship is in italics; how I normally would act is in plain text.

Hope that clears it up. :up:
 
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