My Breakup Speech

[Dapper Swindler]

I've never broken up with anyone before and this is very hard for me. Not just because I don't want to hurt her feelings but because it's totally against my nature to push someone away who wants to be with me. It will suck when she's with other guys, but that's life and I can't have my cake and eat it too. Everything I wrote here is really how I feel, or at least a very positive spin on it. I'm going to take her out to lunch tomorrow and tell her this. Let me know if you have any ideas for modifying it.

There is something that I have to tell you.

I don't think it's fair to you if we continue this relationship the way it is.

I think you deserve more than I am giving you right now. I don't appreciate you like you deserve.

I love being with you, but it feels like I am just using you. I feel guilty all the time because I know you deserve someone who can appreciate you.

I want to be with you, but if I can't appreciate you then my conscience won't let me continue this any longer.

If we could be friends, then we could still see each other and I wouldn't feel guilty about it. Maybe someday I'll change but I don't want to lead you on.

The last thing I want is to not see you anymore. You're my best friend. I don't want to end our relationship, just change it.

I still made reservations for us tonight (for a comedy show). I'm really looking forward to going with you.

 

[rgeere]

Hmmm, I wouldn't know ... I've never broken up with a girl conventially, either ... I've always just blown off girls I didn't like or stopped talking to them.

Though, sounds like you are taking the honorable way out of the relationship. I don't see any problems with what you are saying, if that is what you want to say of course.

Let me guess, one of the comedy clubs in Springfield? I use to live there, nice town.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Originally posted by rgeere
Hmmm, I wouldn't know ... I've never broken up with a girl conventially, either ... I've always just blown off girls I didn't like or stopped talking to them.

Though, sounds like you are taking the honorable way out of the relationship. I don't see any problems with what you are saying, if that is what you want to say of course.

Let me guess, one of the comedy clubs in Springfield? I use to live there, nice town.

Hopefully, I'll be more careful next time not to get involved with anyone exclusively unless I feel like I really want to be with them. It's a lesson I needed to learn.

The comedy club is in Columbia, MO. Dave Coulier is going to be performing. How cool is that? I hope the first thing Joey says on stage is "F*** the Olsens!" That would rule.

 

[Engetsu]

Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
The last thing I want is to not see you anymore. You're my best friend. I don't want to end our relationship, just change it.

I still made reservations for us tonight (for a comedy show). I'm really looking forward to going with you.

Not a good idea... Imagine if your girlfriend that you're in love with just dumped you. Would you be in the mood of seeing her that same night, and to top it off, for a COMEDY show? WTF?

Forget the comedy show. If you still want to be friends with her, at least give her some time to breathe and recover. Don't even mention the show if you haven't talked about it yet... And if you have already talked about it, then give her the option of not going, which she will probably choose.

 

[DeathDealer]

This is genius. It's like my boss telling me how great I am but she has to fire me but I can meet her up at a comedy club to laugh it up later.

Are you going to a comedy club to feel better about yourself or herself too? How about just dump her, and then go there by yourself with a buddy or whatever.

Or you can do what some women do... be more whiney, play mind games, make her mad at you.. so when you guys break apart it'll be easier but very bitter.

 

[MacDiddy]

Hopefully, I'll be more careful next time not to get involved with anyone exclusively unless I feel like I really want to be with them. It's a lesson I needed to learn.

No... you need to grow some balls.....Thats all...


Your mom taught you to be nice to women... and taught your sister to never trust men.... how $hit is that !!!!!
(I don't know if you have a sister, but you get what I mean!!!)

 

[Guerrero]

you gotta have some style and be like:


(next time you see her in person)

yo yo! this is me walking away!

(then walk away and don't turn back)

a few days later you send her a letter saying "IT'S OVER!"



hahaha

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

Be frank about why youre breaking up w/ her, your way of breaking up is similar to that of chicks.

You can be frank & polite at the same time. I told my previous womans

"Things have been really going downhill with us, being in this relationship has become like walking on eggshells for me, so in our common interest I think we should go our own ways"

 

[thefonz]

try to avoid the word love, from my experience it sends mixed messages and can leave her too emotional......and you know what happens when womenget too emotional

 

[Albion4]

I never lie about anything to save their feelings.

"Sorry hun, but it's just not working. I'm not going to sit here and paint a picture with excuses because it's not fair to either of us. I'm just not happy with where things are going and there's nothing you or I can or will do to change that. It was a great experience knowing you and I hope all the best experiences in the future."

Sure it's final, but isn't that what a breakup is all about?

-Al

 

[TDOT]

How about:

"<Trixi>, you are a wonderful girl but I'm looking for a woman, bye"

Then hit her lightly with your fist on her chin.

 

[sexual_intellectual]

@ Dapper - Don't know what you're trying to achieve by making a Breakup Speech?!

She just needs to know that this is over, for good. There's no way of communicating that you don't want to be with her if she wants to be with you that won't really hurt her. So just be direct + give her space, if she can forgive you for leaving her, she will in her own time and you can be friends. Thats the most you can hope for...

You'll also minimise the drama this way too.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

I broke up with her today with something similar to the speech. Now I understand why Engretsu was so surprised by my plan to not give her a chance to breathe. I'm actually doing that on purpose. I don't want her to feel bad. My message I was giving to her is that there is a problem with me, not her, and that we can still be friends, there is still fun, and life is still good. There is no reason to sit alone and be upset. Don't forget that I'm not just making this stuff up to make her feel better, this is actually how I feel.

Did this make breaking up easier on both of us? You bet
Is this a good idea? We'll see

The problem that might come out of this is that by not allowing her time to realize it's over, the break up might not take. I may have done such a good job of not letting her feel bad that it won't sink in that we're broken up. I think this is what some of you are warning me about. I'm going to proceed with this and I'll let you know how it turns out. Maybe we can all learn something from the results of this strategy.

 

[AverageFC]

Dapper- when you did it, you LJBF'ed her right?

 

[PRMoon]

Oh please don't feed her that! And then you want to take her out after you just broke up with her? I totally wouldn't go about it that way.

I've broken up with girls in so many different ways and if you are going to meet her somewhere you should make it short and quick like a daggar to the heart. The longer you draw it out with silly little speech the more angry she's going to get inside.

You want to make it short sweet and to the point. Your relationship as boyfrined and girlfriend is not working out so in order for the two of you to continue you should just be friends. If you dive to deep into a statement about how much you care for her she's probably going to cry even more because then it seems like you're pitying her.

Daggar, to the heart, half way through or at the end of your meal.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Yeah, she's been LJBFed upside the head.

 

[Canadiandon]

The "I got a job offer over seas" Trick works for me.

 

[Albion4]

Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
I broke up with her today with something similar to the speech. Now I understand why Engretsu was so surprised by my plan to not give her a chance to breathe. I'm actually doing that on purpose. I don't want her to feel bad. My message I was giving to her is that there is a problem with me, not her, and that we can still be friends, there is still fun, and life is still good. There is no reason to sit alone and be upset. Don't forget that I'm not just making this stuff up to make her feel better, this is actually how I feel.

That's sad. So lieing is ok if it makes you look better? F<beep>king games, nothing but f<beep>king games. Wouldn't you want to know why a girl was breaking up with you so you could work on fixing it in the future when you're with someone else? Giving a girl some bull s<beep>t line like "It's me not you" is just a cowards cop out. Don't give me this "I don't want to hurt her feelings" bull crap, you're afraid of confrentation and don't want to cause a scene. Get some balls and be a man, she's far better off with a few days of hurt feelings if she knows what she did wrong then to think that she's doing everything right in a relationship and failing again the next time.

For instance, I was dating this girl who was a constant complainer. There was always something wrong with everything. I told her on a few occations that I hate the fact that she's always so pessimistic about everything. SO finaly one day I couldn't handle it anymore. I told her strait out, I hate that you complain all the time, I've told you about it on more then one occation and you have not shown that you're willing to change it, so it's over. At least in her next relationship she may think about the complaining and try to fix it.

I apologize to everyone about the rant but fear is the reason there are so many AFCs around. Whether you're afraid to "hurt a girls feelings" or your afraid to talk to her in the first place, it's all the same fear. Get some balls.

-Al

 

[Dapper Swindler]

@Albion: Why do you think I'm lying? I've said repeatedly that this is how I feel about the situation. I'm not playing any games. I'm trying to explain the logic behind the break up in a way that won't hurt her feelings so much and then I'm trying to smooth things over so we can still be friends. I don't think this is the best example of someone lacking balls.

If my girl was a constant complainer like yours. Then, yeah, I would end it the same way you did. I wouldn't just say all this stuff here to try to protect her feelings and avoid confrontation. That would be a a lack of balls.