"My boyfriend"

[ozzfest]

Have you ever been talking to a girl and your getting along pretty well and she then slips the "my boyfriend...." into the conversation? Sure it's a real punch in the stomach, but what exactly is behind it? I mean do girls do this on purpose almost as a wall between you and them as if to say "yeah we are having fun and getting along but I'm taken so don't push it any further".

I mean maybe I'm reading into it too much, but it seems to happen a lot to me. A lot of the time its kinda shoe horned into the conversation by them. Its gotta be on purpose and for a reason. My other thought is maybe they are reigning themselves in..reminding themselves they have a boyfriend.

Again I know I'm probably reading too much into it, but.... Yeah I realize people draw on their experiences in order to keep a conversation going so naturally they are going to mention things going on in their lives. I guess if they were really interested they would avoid stating they had a boyfriend altogether. I guess I answered my own question.

 

[Interceptor]

Sometimes women who ARE INTERESTED STILL say they have a BF.

Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not.
Women like to know you're going to be assertive and go after what you want. It;s often a test to see your conviction in going after her.
If you give up after she says that, she figueres you weren't into her after all.



Only one way to find out.

 

[Effington]

Yeah, you're probably looking too much into it. If you talk to someone as a normal person and discuss whatever, it's gonna come out eventually. Sometimes you can run into a streak where it seems like everyone you talk to is taken.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Hey man if you see it positively, it could just be an unintentional sh1t test. Her boyfriend COULD just well be an AFC, and if you play your cards right, still talking to her smoothly after she mentions her boyfriend, who knows? She might just pull that immature line, "Maybe we should see other people" to her boyfriend.

Don't worry too much about it though, just keep doing what your doing. The way you posted her "my boyfriend" reveals that you probably aren't doing much wrong. It would be another story if she pretended that she had a phone call and said "oh sorry my boyfriend's calling....." Then proceeded to walk away

 

[mrmoe]

Proceed as you are! I agree with the other guys here. Chicks use this boyfriend thing all the time. There's a difference in how it is used, and in your case... it's being used to test you. Girls who genuinely aren't interested will shut you down with no room for intepretation. Keep on course and if you play your cards right, I guarantee the boyfriend chatter will slow down or become non-existant. The moment you start showing jealousy or accept it (bf) as reality (hence defeat), game over! So beware of that.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

The most common use for the boyfriend line is when you've talked to her for awhile, she's realized you're a loser and then she drops the line so that you'll walk away. But... then again, there are situations when a girl will drop that line for no reason even if she's interested.

 

[ematsuda]

You can tell the difference between the meaning behind it pretty darn easily. How? Watch their body language during the conversation. How is she speaking to you? Is she sitting close to you or touching you or is she keeping a fair amount of distance? When you're across the bar does she constantly sneak a peek at you? What I'm getting at is whether or not she has a BF, the same rules of "showing interest" applies.

Edit: With that said, keep in mind that BF or not, women flirt and could mean nothing or something. It's your job as a DJ to figure out which is which and react to the different situations.

 

[ready123]

agree /w the other guys - there are a lot of reasons
- she could be trying to hint she's desirable
- your game was weak and she couldn't tell you were hitting on her, til now
- you f'd up and she's not feeling you anymore so she's drawing the line
- ASD is kicking in subtly

just like paying on a date and time to wait to call back, there's no hard and fast rule for this. it's all situational and somethign you learn to interpret through experience

 

[nismo-4]

Proceed as you are! I agree with the other guys here. Chicks use this boyfriend thing all the time. There's a difference in how it is used, and in your case... it's being used to test you. Girls who genuinely aren't interested will shut you down with no room for intepretation. Keep on course and if you play your cards right, I guarantee the boyfriend chatter will slow down or become non-existant. The moment you start showing jealousy or accept it (bf) as reality (hence defeat), game over! So beware of that.

Yeah, you're probably looking too much into it. If you talk to someone as a normal person and discuss whatever, it's gonna come out eventually. Sometimes you can run into a streak where it seems like everyone you talk to is taken.

Both of you are so damn right! 'Nuff said!

It won't always work though. And for God's sake NEVER EVER ask if she got a boyfriend! :nono:

 

[Bible_Belt]

Laugh it off. "Oh no...that poor guy...I bet you have him whipped, don't you?"

 

[RemixViking]

Sometimes women who ARE INTERESTED STILL say they have a BF.

Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not.
Women like to know you're going to be assertive and go after what you want. It;s often a test to see your conviction in going after her.
If you give up after she says that, she figueres you weren't into her after all.



Only one way to find out.

Test your conviction? That would label you a scumbag in most women's eyes. Let alone any sort of decent one. A girlfriend usually says this because they can tell the second a guy shows interest and instead of being "mean" and turning them down, they do it the easy way and let them know they have a boyfriend.

 

[Bible_Belt]

That would label you a scumbag in most women's eyes. Let alone any sort of decent one.

There are decent women?

 

[Poonani Maker]

My problem is when they drop the "my husband" line.

 

[Bible_Belt]

After you have had a wife cheat on you, maybe you will feel differently.

 

[RemixViking]

That would label you a scumbag in most women's eyes. Let alone any sort of decent one.

There are decent women?

I don't want to be bitter.

Is that the best attitude for you when dealing with women?

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's an effective attitude. And I may be a little bitter. But I used to be naive, and that was much worse than bitter. Good luck finding the right balance; it's not easy.

 

[decadentdestruction]

I just had an experience were this chick would complaint about her ex to me , and tell me how much she hated him .

 

[Jack McCrack]

As soon as the words "My boyfriend" come out of a girls mouth, I just turn around and walk away mid-sentence.

 

[nismo-4]

My problem is when they drop the "my husband" line.

Not a problem for me! Sometimes, married women will slip IOI's, maybe da husband ain't doin' a good job. You might look like a better performer.

One time I spoke to a woman at my university who was an administrative assistant, didn't know she was married at the time (No ring, and no bra), and I was wearing a Chicago Bulls outfit from 1993. She was asking me if I was into basketball, then the flirting began with random topics like what I'm doing in school and similar sh*t. Things esclated so much when I walked her to her car, the next thing you know, we're kissing like heaven! Not only that, when we were hugging, I caught a boner and she DID feel that!

Next day, we were f**kin' in the backseat of her Lexus! It's a damn good thing I stuck around with her and cleaned it up! I may have stained the leather. Considering she was 23 years older than me (40), yet looked 32, she knew how to rub my body and appreciate young meat! Then we f**cked in her office for her whole lunch break, blinds closed and door locked. Even with the A/C on, we were still sweatin'!

Then it came out that she was married, and we haven't f**ked since. The point is, LOK FOR A DAMN WEDDING RING IN THIS SCENARIO!!! And if she's attractive and giving IOI's plus flirting, you can get the p***y, trust me. Just don't make a baby.

Hope this helps.

 

[SAKongen]

I just had an experience were this chick would complaint about her ex to me , and tell me how much she hated him .

Sounds like you ended up as a good guy AFC...