"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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My Boobs Are OK video

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Centaurion

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She is a D-level norwegian 'glamour' model. Meaning that she sucks cawcks for cash.
 

Vulpine

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Butthead: Uh... What?
Beavis: Yeah. Umm.... Heh, heh.

Butthead: Uh...
Beavis: Um... is this "Aqua"?
Butthead: Wut?
Beavis: You know, "I'm a barbie gerl, in a barbie weeherrherrrld..."
Butthead: No, you DUMBASH! It's Gwen Stephanie!
Beavis: Oo-ooh... heh-heh... "I'm a boobie girl, in a boobie worrrrld."


Butthead: Uh... she said "boobs". Huh, huh, huh.
Beavis: Heh. Heh-heh, yeAH! YEAH! "BOOBS"!

Beavis: She said it again! BoObs! B0oOBS! They're OK! Heh. heh-heh-heh.
Butthead: Yeah, she's got OK boobs, OK?
Beavis: *waving dollar bill* Boobs! BOOBS!

Butthead: Uh... ok?
Beavis: Boobies! BOO-BOO-BOOO-BOOOBIES!


Beavis: Um... Ok?
Butthead: *Catatonic, drool coming out of mouth*

Beavis: Um... Ok?
Butthead: *Catatonic, drool coming out of mouth*

Beavis: Um... Uh... She's not showing her boobs. That's not ok. Change it Butthead.
Butthead: *Catatonic, drool coming out of mouth*

Beavis: COME ON BUTTHEAD! CHANGE IT!!!

Butthead: *click*

(tool video comes on)

Beavis: Yes! TOOL! :rockon:
Butthead: *thrash* Erngh! *Thrash* Erngh! :rockon:
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I want those 4 minutes of my life back DES.

I love big fake boobs, and I feel no guilt in admitting it. So long as the girl's in excellent physical shape (i.e. not fat with big boobs) it's just icing on the cake.

That said, I thought the comments were far more entertaining than the video. You gotta love the mad scramble to hate on "superficial hootie queens" from all the guys trying to prove how above it they are. Heheh,..

No, you are fine. It's just that this is the dumbest video I have ever seen. Her tits are fake and nobody gets turned on by fake "boobs", it's just not sexy. All the girls in this video are just STUPID looking. I didnt get a boner either because this video is just stupid instead of being sexy.
I'm so glad he didn't get a boner, because that would be proof that he really is superficial,..hahah!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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STR8UP

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Thanks, I always wondered what Paris Hilton would look like if she were actually attractive and had big boobs
 

DJDamage

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ValleyDJing said:
Why did God give women boobs? So men will talk to them.
Actually that is not that far from the truth.

wikipedia said:
Zoologists point out that no female mammal other than the human has breasts of comparable size, relative to the rest of the body, when not lactating and that humans are the only primate that has permanently swollen breasts. This suggests that the external form of the breasts is connected to factors other than lactation alone.

One theory is based around the fact that, unlike nearly all other primates, human females do not display clear, physical signs of ovulation. This could have plausibly resulted in human males evolving to respond to more subtle signs of ovulation. During ovulation, the increased estrogen present in the female body results in a slight swelling of the breasts, which then males could have evolved to find attractive. In response, there would be evolutionary pressures that would favor females with more swollen breasts who would, in a manner of speaking, appear to males to be the most likely to be ovulating.

Some zoologists (notably Desmond Morris) believe that the shape of female breasts evolved as a frontal counterpart to that of the buttocks, the reason being that whilst other primates mate in the rear-entry position, humans are more likely to successfully copulate by mating face to face, the so-called missionary position. A secondary sexual characteristic on a woman’s chest would have encouraged this in more primitive incarnations of the human race, and a face on encounter may have helped found a relationship between partners beyond merely a sexual one.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Obsidian

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lol, Rollo spent four minutes watching a two minute video ;)
 

ValleyDJing

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Obsidian said:
lol, Rollo spent four minutes watching a two minute video ;)

lol! He's like...anti-Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris can watch a two minute video in 1.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mr.Positive

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ValleyDJing said:
lol! He's like...anti-Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris can watch a two minute video in 1.
:crackup: We need more Chuck Norris jokes. :)
 

ValleyDJing

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Mr.Positive said:
:crackup: We need more Chuck Norris jokes. :)

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
 

ValleyDJing

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Desidinova...I hereby declare this thread hijacked!

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris addresses himself in the fourth person.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Chuck Norris doens't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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