"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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my birthday dilemma

xdreamz

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hello guys.. so the craziest thing happened. I was trying to get a ride from my friend and he told me that he wasn't going home so I walked back to the front of my school and while i was waiting one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen walked by, so I stopped her and told her my situation that I was stuck there and I needed I ride back and asked her to help. she wasn't able to because she had class, but she ended up asking for my number.

I got a little acquainted with her, I asked her what she was studying which is Graphic Design which is my major as well. I told her I was an artist. I asked her for her number quite awkwardly, I mean she was gorgeous, so it was difficult for me not to be a little timid. She refused a bit but I kept on talking and forced a number close so she sent me her number.

A week later, yesterday, i thought about her so i called. She didn't answer the phone. So i sent her a text that told her who I was. She still did not answer. My other friend called and I asked him for advice and he just told me to say where I met her and that I wanted to talk to her and tell her to hit me back when she's not busy. I did exactly that.

Today I woke up with a text in my mailbox, it said this:

Hi I'm sorry man I can't have you contacting me like this I have a boyfriend.


now before I get flamed for being amoral, this girl is really beautiful. i don't have one-itis, i am prepared for the worst and hope for the best. any help is appreciated thanks.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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CuriousGirl

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I don't get what this has to do with your b'day. I don't think you have much chance though, they way she phrased "contacting me like this" sounds like she thinks you're pestering her. Either she has a boyfriend and she's not interested or she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied, and she's not interested.
 

WalkingStick

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CuriousGirl said:
I don't get what this has to do with your b'day. I don't think you have much chance though, they way she phrased "contacting me like this" sounds like she thinks you're pestering her. Either she has a boyfriend and she's not interested or she doesn't have a boyfriend, she lied, and she's not interested.
^ This. It sounds like she never wanted to give you her number in the first place.

Even if she actually did have a boyfriend, there shouldnt be a problem with you sending friendly texts. She is not interested. On the bright side, she was honest upfront and you dont need to waste any time on her.
 

kingsam

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xdreamz said:
forced a number close so she sent me her number.

A week later, yesterday, i thought about her so i called. good time She didn't answer the phone. So i sent her a text that told her who I was. She still did not answer. My other friend called and I asked him for advice and he just told me to say where I met her and that I wanted to talk to her and tell her to hit me back when she's not busy. I did exactly that.

Today I woke up with a text in my mailbox, it said this:

Hi I'm sorry man I can't have you contacting me like this I have a boyfriend.
are you retarded?
-you forced her to give you her number (ive never heard of LMR for numbers so this is basically a NO for interest in you on her part)
-she ignored you calling and texting
-she said to not call her as she is UNAVALIABLE (even if this is a lie she aint interested in you)

a lot of girls would have also given a fake no.

now before I get flamed for being amoral, this girl is really beautiful. i don't have one-itis, i am prepared for the worst and hope for the best. any help is appreciated thanks.
rationalisation of the worst kind - so what shes beautiful ? shes not intersted in you!
 

xdreamz

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ey but if there's a will there's a way. i thought you guys are supposed to be DJ's n ****...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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xdreamz

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ok so fine she's really not interested.. but in my terms it just means i conveyed too much interest. from my experience there have been many girls with boyfriends that cheat.

so what if she's beautiful? she has a good spirit about her
 

terran2k

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how do you know she's so much of a good woman? you dont even know her.
 

Tesl

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xdreamz said:
ey but if there's a will there's a way. i thought you guys are supposed to be DJ's n ****...
DJs aren't magicians.

The correct choice here is to let this one go and forget about it. You are already coming off as pestering her / stalkerish as has been said, the more you try at this point the less likely hooking up with her becomes.

Although my advice is to forget about her, the plan of action would be:

1) STOP texting or contacting her in anyway. Ignore the last message she sent you.

2) Make NO effort to see her again or get in contact, live your life and go out and meet other girls.

3) After some time, if you two did happen to be at the same party or something, feel free to say something to show you weren't offended and nothing needs to be awkward. Although this forum doesn't like apologizing for stuff, I'd probably say something like "Hey, just wanted to quickly apologize if I put you in an awkward spot by texting you back then, in hindsight I probably did overdo a bit. Anyway, take care of yourself"

4) Game her all over again now she doesn't think you are the crazy stalker type. Even then, not immediately, and after more time.

Seems like a lot of work for someone you don't even know :)
 
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