My Best Friend is my biggest ****block..

[Tantric]

Okay...

Since moving to LA, my best friend is my biggest ****block.

This was me 2 years ago:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16892&highlight=tantric

Now i'm completely different. I still have a lot of confidence when it comes to talking with girls, but JESUS! My friend (who is also my boss) is 6'6", comes from one of the richest families in LA, and is extremely good-looking. he and i have the same taste in women, and if i see some chick i like, he'll totally mack her. he doesn't do it on pupose, but all these chicks flock to him like bees to honey!

A few months ago he and I saw this HB9 standing out on the street, he was too scared to approach her, so i went for it...hit it off with her...next thing you know 2 days later, they are hanging out, fliring and shyt.

This happens ALL THE TIME!!!

I've been moddelling and acting for 10 years, so my confidence "was" fairly high, i've always been ****y/funny, and hell when i am in control and in my own enviornment with him NOT around, i am just that...****y, funny, in control. When i'm out with him, i feel like a chump. Like I'm his sidekick or somthing. He takes control of every conversation. Me even talking feels like it's "not allowed" or something. Out of the 30 girls he and i have met over the past 4 months...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ends up wanting to fvck him.

I figure anytime I'm around him it would be good as i could learn from him...see what he is doing, not doing, mack chicks together...but i think he lets his ego get to him and he keeps it all to himself.

There was this chick i met at her work, and he knew i really liked her. He didn't mack her or anything, but they obviously met each other. I found out 3 days ago that she told a mutual friend that she REALLY wants to fvck my friend.

nice.

It's like every chick i meet and establish shyt with, once he meets them, it's all over for me.

Is there any way to deal with this? Or am i just being retarded?

 

[KingPinp]

That really **** of your friend. Unfortunatly there is only 2 ways to appraoch this problem, and iv done this myself before.

1.) Isolate yourdating life from your friends. Dont take your friends with you and introduce them to your dates. You dont live together do you? Keep the group of people you **** separate from monday night footbal.

2.) talk this **** out with your friend, call him on the **** he does and tell him you dont appreciate that. furthermore tell him thats damn near sabotage. It will be a hit to you ego and potentially ruin your friendship but **** could get better.

 

[jakethasnake]

Why the fvck would any sane guy hang out with his BOSS? Tantric can't call this guy out too harshly because he also is the source of money for Tantric's next meal and rent payment.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

**** **** **** **** ****?

 

[Tantric]

Thing is this...

I work for one the biggest ex-mafia families in LA. I am partners with him in his "business", and i run it for him, so my boss needs me a hell of a lot more than I need him.

It's not a "typical" boss/employee relationship. He is BY FAR more of my friend than a boss.

He is used to getting his own way...always in control...he's fvcked literally over 500 women...he has the best clothes...the best cars..i mean hell!

Last week he and a mutual friend went out, and this mutual friend brought 2 girls with him. One for him, one for my boss. After about 1 hour at this bar, my boss is macking BOTH of them sucking on the tits of girl 1, while girl 2 is rubbing his ****.

This guy called him on it, but my "boss" denies doing anything on purpose.

How do i bring it up without sounding like a loser?

 

[Luveno]

I hate silver spoon fed *******s, especially ones whose parents got the money by illegal means.
I'd drop him. A real friend would let you have a girl...
He says he can't help it. He can. He can say " no, I'm not interested". They'll go away then.
Anyway, these *****es youre talking about seem like golddigging wastes of time. Change your preferences.

 

[jakethasnake]

I don't think there is any way of bringing him up with "sounding like a loser".

I say this not because your calling him on it will make you sound like a loser (why would that be? You're actually having a backbone by doing that). Even if you did show a backbone, your pal is so self-absorbed from being used to getting EVERYTHING his way that he won't see the logic behind your complaint.


This is exactly akin to very famous celebrities, movies stars, atheltes losing touch with reality, treating friends and loved ones like shyt, and ultimately ending up friendless.


You know the ex New Jersey Net forward Jayson Williams? He had tens of millions of dollars in the bank, a huge mansion in New Jerz, about a million mistresses and a beautiful wife. But his head got so big from his fast-paced lifestyle that he practically went insane. He lost touch with morality and a sense of responsibility - just like the decilne of successful men and empire, this is what happens when you get drunk on success.


Anyway Williams shot his dog with a shotgun after losing a bet, and then fvcked up ROYALLY when he shot his chauffeur with the same shotgun on a drunken binge party on his estate. Now he's on trial for murder. What a fvcken LOSER, I have no sympathy for morons like that. I wouldn't care if he got locked up for life, for real. Your friend is probably on a similar path, though he might not kill anyone. Maybe he'll end up at the bottom of a liquor bottle, strung up on coke, or something like that. By the way, how on earth did you get involved with the MAFIA? Were you just drawn to the danger of it all, as no doubt the bytches are to your friend?

 

[Tantric]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
Your friend is probably on a similar path, though he might not kill anyone. Maybe he'll end up at the bottom of a liquor bottle, strung up on coke, or something like that. By the way, how on earth did you get involved with the MAFIA? Were you just drawn to the danger of it all, as no doubt the bytches are to your friend?

Well...the "family" i work for is no longer in the "biz" so to speak. My direct boss/partner was a major dealer and strung out on everything, coke, heroine, you name it. He has been clean for over 1 year, and the family is really laying low right now. His dad just got out of jail and i'm pretty sure they won't being going back to their old ways. he is a VERY powerful man, and there is a movie that came out last year about him and his family.

The business i run for him isn't illeagal, but when girl find out "who" he is, i am sure there is a lot of danger invloved that turns them on.

My friend also has a HUGE temper and he and i have gotten into a lot of fights.

I 'll bring it up next time we're out. the problem is all the friends i have (becasue i'm new to LA) are somehow connected to him. So...not hanging out with him, means dissing off most if not all the other friends i have.

 

[VictorK]

Solution:

If your out with him, then don't think about picking up girls. Just enjoy your time with him as a friend, and leave the DJ part to where you are ALONE or with other friends.

If he is NOT around you when your macking on girls or out on dates...then he can't ****block.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Keep your dating life and your work life seperate from each other, like most people do.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

I symphathize with you Tantric. I have the same problem although my friends have less of an image than yours. And I too would get a bunch of useless advice to either "talk to your friend" or go out alone.

I analyzed what it was that my friends did to take over the set. In my case, they would just approach my convo and stand there until I introduced them or they would just interrupt the convo. Then they would keep talking and slowly edge the girl away.

Here's what I came up with to use their interuption. Keep in mind that I haven't field tested it all yet. It may or may not help your situation.

1) Ignore them and don't introduce them (I've even glanced at a friend coldly when he bounced up and slapped me on the back as I was gaming this group of 4 girls). He immediately left looking confused. This solution isn't tight and isn't very friendly.

2) Use them as launch pads for stories to convey value about yourself (not brag). "This dude is my BEST friend! We've been through some SHYT! This one time...." You stay in control of the interaction and direct it where you want it to go.

3) Tool them. ex. "Guys meet my good friend X. He's the biggest player. I call him Pimptastic. How many girls are you seeing right now dude? I KNOW you girls will love him. DO your stuff on them man! I want to see your smooth moves on these girls right NOW. DO YOUR THING PIMPTASTIC!!" And then misinterpret all the normal things he does like asking them their names as his "smooth moves." "DAMN he's smooth!!"


4) Indirect. "Man I'm glad you got here. Take these girls off my hands man. They're too bad for me. They're trying to corrupt me." Or something along those lines. Maybe work it with 3)

5) Assert yourself by moving them around. See my "Tried New Amog Opener" FR. You could also clown one of them by saying that the light was gleaming off his or her nose and blinding you.

What I was trying to accomplish with all of these ideas was to continue to engage instead of fading into the background, convey dominance, block my friends' method before they can start it, and adapt my game to use intrusions. Hope it helps.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by VictorK
Solution:

If your out with him, then don't think about picking up girls. Just enjoy your time with him as a friend, and leave the DJ part to where you are ALONE or with other friends.

If he is NOT around you when your macking on girls or out on dates...then he can't ****block.

Probably a good idea.

I'm willing to bet a big part of it is that he's the boss (or "Don", whatever), and even if you guys are friends, he's got the authority in the work situation, so you naturall acquiesce to him in social situations as well. They see you and think, "Damn, this guy is SO attractive, but he seems to act like the OTHER guy is even greater than HIM!"

Plus I'm sure he gets his share of gold-diggers.

Either way he doesn't seem like he's gonna cut you slack around the ladies, which is a d!ck-ish thing to do in the first place. So if you're in a position where you can't "call him out", then just stop trying to mack girls in front of him. Find some new buds you can roll with that will respect your game.

Or just call him on it if you feel close enough to him...tell him you want him to respect your game and stop snatching girls while you're macking them. Worst that can happens is he can say "no".

 

[Playboi0323]

Haha. Reminds me of one friend I have. Except he isn't rich or good looking. Anytime I get a girl interested in coming home with me, he tells them that I have a girlfriend. Haha. What a hater. Oh well, bros before hoes, right? Last time it happened I was going to take home a stripper for a one nighter... Unfortunately, my friend was present and he had to try to get his mack on by ruining mine when I was talking to another chick. It's a double edged sword being friends with AFCs. Haha.

 

[alphamale1]

I know i kinda do it.

When I feel i know more about the macking than my friend who is trying to mack the woman i will normally be the one in control as im saying the right stuff.

I think this guy obviously know deep that he is better than u in more ways than one and that is why he is over top of ur head.
And hes doing it to get the hot woman, hes not necessarily thinking about u........after all its woman hes attracted to.......not men.

Tell him straight that u dont want some guy who is better than me stealing all the woman, get me some or help me get me some.......u a good man or a stealer? r u going to help me or r u just going to ignore me.

If u dont like what he tells, then up ur game, knowledge, master what he says and then blow him away with ur 2* macking skills

Ben

 

[Porky]

Originally posted by Playboi0323
Haha. Reminds me of one friend I have. Except he isn't rich or good looking. Anytime I get a girl interested in coming home with me, he tells them that I have a girlfriend. Haha. What a hater. Oh well, bros before hoes, right? Last time it happened I was going to take home a stripper for a one nighter... Unfortunately, my friend was present and he had to try to get his mack on by ruining mine when I was talking to another chick. It's a double edged sword being friends with AFCs. Haha.

bros before hoes...

but only if your friends are worth it. this one isn't. drop him.

 

[Juan_Man]

I refuse to believe that there is a guy who can get any girl that he wants. Your problem is that you don't see your friend as a friend. You see him as competition. You are probably coming off insecure around these girls, trying too hard to get their attention, and they can sense it. Meanwhile your friend is more relaxed and self-assured. Who do you think the girls are going to go for?

I used to have this one friend who I always thought was stealing my thunder. But I realized that it was my own insecurity that made these girls more drawn to him. I stopped doing the whole ****y and funny routine (something that he was better at) and decided to be my quiet, witty, more reserved self. And it worked. There was one girl that he wanted badly that he couldn't have. He was able to attract her initially, but his charms quickly wore off. Instead, she wanted me

My advice is to stop seeing your boss as a thwart to your game and just see him as a friend. Stop competing. Stop giving a fvck! If you are relaxed and comfortable in your own skin, then you'll be the guy that girls suddenly want in their pants.

 

[A-Unit]

Been there.

No matter the guy, it don't matter who it is...the more you approach, the more you will encounter this situation.

I had friends who no girl would touch become competition when we partying and try to pick up a girl. I had friends who could be competition, become competition out of the blue even when sober.

It's unpredictable. And as much as you don't care, you do. Inevitably, you have to re-think you're dating/mating strategy to suit your needs and the friends you have.

If you're going out to party with your buds, do whatever comes to you. When I hit up Boston or Manchester, I'm going to have fun with my friends. If we meet girls, great. If we don't, so what. To me, it doesn't matter. I don't try to think it through so much, a girls, a girls, a girl. But the best way to shyt test her is to see how she reacts around your friends. If she's a douche around friends, can you imagine how she is when you're not there?

Over the years I have to learn NOT to rely so heavily on friends, that I've thrown the mantra bros before hoes out the window, and be more strategic with such things unless I just don't give a fvck about the girl. Too many times even the most seemingly trustworthy guys have tested strong relationships with girls who'd never cheat on me, questioning that theory.

Do what's in your best interest, not anyone else's. Very few people, including guy friends, won't screw you over at least once. If you're one on one with a girl who you kinda dig, don't invite her around your friend. Or ensure that she brings along other hoes for him to thwart of any cackblocking. Or, don't have him around. Or, find another friend to be a wingman.

Bottom line...you don't have to take the crap you've been dished.



A-Unit

 

[chicksrock]

stop being such a fvcking symp in your bosses/friend's shadow.

grow some balls and create your own destiny.

(or continue to eat the scraps if thats what you prefer)

 

[TommiV]

I have the exact same problem with most of my friends actually.

I've learned though, that unfortunatly, when you're in this siuation, you have to separate your dating life from your friends until you've established something with the girl so she's not put off by little things...

I have a friend exactly like the original poster said. He even has a longterm girlfriend but he flirts with everyone, he's fairly good looking so all girls just drewl all over him. Theres absolutly no point in trying anything on with these girls who've met him too... only solution, enjoy his company, he's your friend, but don't be in a rush to introduce these new girls to him for a while....

My other friends have a habit, whether they mean it or not, of embarrassing me rather deliberatly infront of new people, especially women...
I mean, everyone gets silly nicknames that mean nothing when you're young in school. Most of my friends are people I met when I was young in school and I love hanging with them, but they have this urge to tell ever girl we meet all the stupid nicknames they have for me. I don't mind what they call me because they know me from years ago but I've kinda moved on, I've grown up and people outside this circle don't call me these stupid names. Its a real turn-off for women 'cos they don't just tell them the names, I found one friend actually "training" a girl to call me that when she was one of the few who had an interest and agreed it was a stupid name and kept calling me by my real name...
Same goes for silly stories. I mean, if a girl asks you about one of you're friends, wouldn't you at least try to talk him up if he's your friend? But they always tell stupid stories about me. I mean, it's nothing really to people you know but it doesn't help in creating the "attraction" people talk about with a woman you just met if all she knows of you are silly names and silly stories about you.

You HAVE to seperate friends and dates until you are comfortable enough with a girl for none of this to be a turn off.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Not trying to convert anyone. Just pointing out a common thread in these posts. All these things your friends are doing are Amog tactics. Pet names, silly stories, cutting in, being condescending, etc. All these are amog tactics that they're doing naturally and almost unconsciously. People online have just analyzed this behavior and presented it as "AMOG techniques." You CAN do it back to them. And it's all good because, hey you're just friends having a good time. Friendly competition. Keeping shyt straight. Asserting yourself and your boundaries without freaking out about it.