"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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My Beliefs

LearningSlowly

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At AlexLefty's request, I think this will be my first ever "theory" post. I generally write in my own journal or write advice (been doing a lot more advising than gaming recently) but here I'll try to write something I've been giving a lot of thought to recently.

Who Am I?


Often I look myself in the mirror and ask myself that question. I'm pale, bad skin, my hair looks awful unbrushed, and my body looks like a 13 year old boy.

How am I supposed to then embody the "You Are The Prize" belief, that so many posters advocate?

My end goal is a very high caliber of girl. She is beautiful, creative, spontaneous, social and engaging. She laughs often, and talks to people much less popular than herself without noticing the gap.

I haven't met this ideal girl yet, but I'm looking. I am not looking to settle for anyone less, for any almost-there girls. Many guys make a mistake here, and believe that they might have plateaued—this girl they just met might be the hottest one they'll ever be able to get, and they'd better hold on to her while they've got her.

I, on the other hand, will treat an HB7 (or shallow HB9) as temporary practice. She will come into my life, I will learn what that type of girl likes and does not like, and when another, better one comes into my life, I will have the life experience to handle the situation.

Rather than believe that "I am the prize," I know, with complete certainty, that she is NOT the prize. This girl is not the girl I'm waiting for, and deserves no better treatment than any other person passing through my life. That statement holds whether she is a HB6 or an HB9.5, whether she's a genius or a fool, whether the sex is awful or great.

How will I know when I've found the right one?

Well, I suspect that I'll treat her like she isn't the right one. I'll be willing to leave, I'll tease her, and I'll half-expect the relationship to go to sh!t at any moment.

But one day, after knowing her for years, I'll wake up in my bed, and I'll look over at her sleeping next to me, and I'll think, "That worked out nicely."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AlexLefty

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Hahaha loved it man.
But one question. When you find that perfect 10, are you going to treat her any differently than you treated your 9.5 practice girls? You kind of already answered this but yeah.

I enjoyed this.
 

LearningSlowly

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Well, for the eventual long-term, she doesn't need to be a 10.

8.5+ is fine by me. Girls don't stay hot forever, personality is 100x as important.

The goal is to treat her the same. Or better, I guess, since I'll have learned from every experience. (It's not a given that you will learn from every mistake. Many people live life making the same mistakes over and over. You need to consciously register and correct your flaws.)
 

AlexLefty

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LearningSlowly said:
Well, for the eventual long-term, she doesn't need to be a 10.

8.5+ is fine by me. Girls don't stay hot forever, personality is 100x as important.

The goal is to treat her the same. Or better, I guess, since I'll have learned from every experience. (It's not a given that you will learn from every mistake. Many people live life making the same mistakes over and over. You need to consciously register and correct your flaws.)
Yeah this is true. I feel like being in a community like this at our age we are more likely to thrive as we get older because we'll be able to register our mistakes and learn and stuff.

But question, because you've got to have a number, every guy does. What's your goal for how many girls you want to sleep with before you get married?
 
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