My Bar Game Blows!

[lifeislearning]

There it is guys. Plain to see. I hate admitting my weaknesses, but I feel like I have to at this point. My day game is stellar. I have no issues approaching, scoring a number, and getting a date. Likewise for house parties, they often end up in my favor.

The bars here are a totally different animal though. I live in a college town, and at night the bars are packed with the douchiest drunk hicks you have ever encountered. Some few are adept at getting the girls, but all are skilled at preventing andbody else from getting too close, or being such ****s that the women shoot down all others for the rest of the night.

I'm not giving up, or blaming it all on something I don't understand, but I want to change my actions and results in this arena. My issues (other than those already mentioned) are I feel like a **** walking up to a girl when shes deep in conversation with her friends which they always are here. You never find a girl on her own here, it just doesn't happen, so unfortunately the appocalypse line and others are out. They seem to be having a good time, usually with some redneck orbiter close by, and I just don't know how to walk into that and come out looking cool and not weird or desperate.

I have no close friends who are good wingmen, went out last night with a WBAFC friend, played cards at a booth, and tried to enjoy what I was doing. A few ladies came up to us, and I would talk to them until he said something creepy the made them run away (I don't like going out with him, but maybe its better than nothing).

Tonight I went out alone and I wanted to talk to as many people as I could. I expected to fail and did. Approached 6 girls, closed none in any way. I am glad I made progress, but the going is slow and I want more. Advice is appreciated.

 

[nismo-4]

I have no close friends who are good wingmen, went out last night with a WBAFC friend, played cards at a booth, and tried to enjoy what I was doing. A few ladies came up to us, and I would talk to them until he said something creepy the made them run away (I don't like going out with him, but maybe its better than nothing).

Tonight I went out alone and I wanted to talk to as many people as I could. I expected to fail and did. Approached 6 girls, closed none in any way. I am glad I made progress, but the going is slow and I want more. Advice is appreciated.

It sounds like day game is your calling. Bar game for you, it seems like you need to just go alone and enjoy it by your damn self.

The only thing worse than having a wingman who steals your glory and joy is a wingman who clips you out of the sky.

And you're not being defeated by girls, you're being defeated only by yourself. Expecting to fail has a vibe that oozes insecurity, you may as well hold a neon sign above your head that says "I'm insecure! Women don't find me attractive!"

And stop expecting 100% success. Even if you're uber rich, uber attractive, and uber famous, you won't have 100% success. You'll have a high number, just not 100%.

Who Dat! The New Orleans Saints finally won a Super Bowl!

 

[lifeislearning]

My question: why do you want to get good at picking up chicks in bars if you can already do it in other arenas? Why not just daygame or go to parties if you need to refill your options?

Going to the bar here is a social norm most people are familiar with on a weekly basis, and I hate to resist it only because I'm not good at it. I believe the only way to attain DJ is to always push yourself and never be totally satisfied, so to retreat into my day game only would be the chump way out in my eyes.

 

[lifeislearning]

It sounds like day game is your calling. Bar game for you, it seems like you need to just go alone and enjoy it by your damn self.

The only thing worse than having a wingman who steals your glory and joy is a wingman who clips you out of the sky.

And you're not being defeated by girls, you're being defeated only by yourself. Expecting to fail has a vibe that oozes insecurity, you may as well hold a neon sign above your head that says "I'm insecure! Women don't find me attractive!"

And stop expecting 100% success. Even if you're uber rich, uber attractive, and uber famous, you won't have 100% success. You'll have a high number, just not 100%.

Last night my goal was to enjoy myself alone, whatever I may be doing. When I say i expected failure, I only meant I don't expect 100% success or anything close to it, but wanted rather to experiment with a few different approaches and if rejected to be comfortable and take it in stride. Of course I don't want to fail or limit myself to failure, who goes out with that mindset? :nono:

My main question is how do I compete with the obnoxious drunks? You all know the type who excell at tying up the girls or turning them off from guys for the rest of the night. How do you interrupt a group conversation without looking like and ass? With answers to that and some practice I have not doubt I'll be fine.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

My main question is how do I compete with the obnoxious drunks?

You don't. Unless some drunk guy is shoving you around the bar, you just let these guys pass you like any other kind of insect.

How do you interrupt a group conversation without looking like and ass? With answers to that and some practice I have not doubt I'll be fine.

Seems like the type of situation where you use an observational opener. A mixed crowd of guys and girls are talking about....I dunno....an episode of American Idol. That's when you say, "American Idol is back on? Haven't watched that in years. I hear they kicked Paula Abdul off for being a pill addict."

Things like that aren't brilliant. But it opens you up to the crowd, and you'll determine whether or not they're friendly and want to talk to you. Or if they're jerks and ignore you.

 

[naSTIboost]

Going to the bar here is a social norm most people are familiar with on a weekly basis, and I hate to resist it only because I'm not good at it. I believe the only way to attain DJ is to always push yourself and never be totally satisfied, so to retreat into my day game only would be the chump way out in my eyes.

We have a winnar

 

[BustedKnucks]

Part of bar game is making everyone like you, not just the girl you want to talk to.

Guys and girls alike should think you are cool, even girls you aren't actually approaching.

 

[ENIGMA16]

First, why go to bars that are filled with drunk douchebags? Why not go to better bars?

Second, just make yourself stand out from the crowd. Dress differently (I'm not talking about that peacocking bullsh!t), drink something classy or maybe don't even drink at all. Act like you're surrounded by a bunch of immature partying drunks (which it sounds like you are) and that it's mildly amusing to you. Make fun of them with the girls. You'll set yourself apart from the rest of them instantly because you're basically showing them your disapproval for that immaturity.

Or you could just try making friends with all the guys, like another poster said, depending on how you feel about it. I probably wouldn't because I don't really associate with meat heads like that.

 

[lifeislearning]

I probably wouldn't because I don't really associate with meat heads like that.

Me too. Perhaps this is why I have difficulty in this arena. Good advice here fellas, anybody encounter this issue and have an approach you use personally?