"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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My Approach / Progress Journal

jax871

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I've decided to give one of these a go, something needs to change in my life and its time im honest with myself, and this is the perfect forum to do just that. If nothing else, hopefully this can be an inspiration for other people to start doing what we are here to do.... pick up chicks.

BACKGROUND

At time of writing, i have just turned 24, 5'8, 95kg(210lb). I have been in to weightlifting for the last 9 years naturally and have always been impressed with this area of my life. All though in the last 15 months i have let it slide and am no where as lean as i used to be but just as strong. You wouldnt say im fat, but once upon a time girls where visibly attracted to me for my physique, now not so much. I have allready dropped 5kg and am on my way to transforming my physique but I didnt start this to tell you my workout program im just giving you an idea of what im working with.

My situation with women is an interesting one. I have slept with 27 chicks, had 2 hot girlfriends, and used to be somewhat capable at picking up women. On the surface that doesnt sound to bad. However, i havent had sex in 15 months, not even a wiff off it, and before that ONS i hadnt for another 9 months, my life has basically turned in to me playing computer games and drinking beer 4-5 times a week, and when i do actually go out i feel self concious i dont look like i used to and ussually end up getting so blind drunk i dont even remember what happened the night before. I cant tell you exactly when it turned so bad, i guess it just sorta crept up on me. Friends who used to ask me for advice on women are making me look like a frustrated teenager.

I think im at a turning point in my life, I need to handle my sh!t now or im going to miss out on alot of oppurtunities in the future.

GOALS

START TRYING AGAIN. Im not sure where i stopped trying but i need to get it happening again. Im actually quite happy with how i talk to women when i do, i have a good success rate when i actually try. So i guess for me its a matter of actually approaching rather then how to approach. Im going to stop wanking off so much as well to raise sexual desire (lets not turn this in to a wacking off thread please).

STOP USING ALCOHOL AS A CRUTH. I have cut down on my alcohol consumption alot recently, however when i go out i have still been getting extremely drunk. Even when i was getting laid regularly i would do it, but not to the extent i do now. Truth be told, until recently i havent even thought about talking to a woman without alcohol in my system, i didnt do it when i was 15, so not sure where this thought process came from. For the next few months im going to start going out completely sober on the weekend and see how i fair, i know i will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first but i know i will adjust in time.

I believe if i just do these 2 things consistently for a couple of months i can start creating habits that will take my life in the direction i want it.

I'll be going out this weekend completely sober for the first time in 4 years. Wish me luck!!!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Chamber36

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Good to see another man ready to turn over a new leaf. It's easy to regain lost muscle. So the same should go for your game.

I'm sure you know how to get lean. I still can't resist the temptation to advise you to do compound exercises that engage the whole body. It'll help your balance and core strength & stability.

For women, I know what it's like to go out sober. I think you should do it a few times to get acclimated and really aware of what's going on there.

I advise you to drink Red Bull while talking to the ladies, though I hear it's unhealthy. It'll give you a little buzz and keep you talking.

And BTW, good idea to not whack off. I'm also not going to whack off today, and then tomorrow night my sexual energy should be quite high.
 

thedol

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lol at Jax - sounds really similar to me ;p

I'm 27 - older then you ... in terms of weightligting I havn't let it slide, I'm on it everyday and I've got a pretty attractive physique that always get the girls looking BUT ... I broke up with my ex around Xmas, and since then I've had no sex with anyone. Lost my game, too focused on my ex and weightlifting is my only escape. I'm at a point where I know I need to start approaching and got to stop thinking of the girl I thought was the one - help me out, love to know how you got so many chicks before - what's you gameplan
 

jax871

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@ Chamber, thanks man but yeah ive worked in the sports nutrition / fitness industry for the last 6 years so i have got that covered. I wont post it in here to bore you all with it, and try keep it about women. Yeah i was thinking of banging in a few sugar free red bulls before going out.

@ dol, honestly when i look back im not sure what i was doing that was getting me laid frequently, i was just enjoying myself and it was happening. I looked alot better so maybe that was helping my game, i also wacked off alot less. My game plan to start with is to just go out sober for a few weeks and get used to going out and the scene, will be out either tonight or tomorrow or both! I'll let you know how i go.
 

jax871

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Bringing this **** back,

UPDATE:

I broke my drought a few months ago, was weird how it happened. I had gone out the night before so i was hungover as **** but i promised an old mate we would catch up for a few beers. So a couple beers turns in to 10 and end up chattin to this group of other people. Can't remember exactly what was said but it resulted in me getting out of the cab at her place and banging her... nothing special probably a 6 or so... fu,ck i didnt even know her name.

Anyway, I've stopped drinking again, been about 2 weeks now, which is a long time for me. Everything in my life seems to get better when i dont drink(training, study, work, happiness in general), im trying to change my self identity to be one of those people that just doesnt drink unless its a special occasion, and even then its just a couple of drinks to get a little buzz going on. So far so good.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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