Must vent

[typical]

Okay how does one teach younger mates that taking a chick to a fancy restaurant for the first date, picking her up, paying for her meal IS NOT the way to get into her pants ??

So here I am sitting talking with them and he doesn't give a toss about what I'm saying cause I'm not in a relationship and cause Im the single guy that dates lots of girls.

Honestly why am I even bothering will be sad when he has a crash and burn and the rest of the old fellas just give him a shoulder to cry on like a bunch of losers.

 

[synergy1]

Friends will be stubborn and need to fail before they are open to learning new things. Giving someone advice freely is a surefire way to have them ignore it, no matter how good said advice might be. If people get to the point where they are confounded and want to change, than they might listen.

I have stopped giving advice to people. Its a waste of breath. you won't change someones mind in a few minutes of dialogue. The best way to prove a point ( if this is your goal) is to show, not tell. If your boy is having trouble closing the deal, but he see's you aren't, than he'll try and emulate your success.

 

[PokerStar]

i cant remember which poster it was. but he said that unplugging people from the matrix is a dirty job.

 

[Colossus]

Let him learn the hard way. Sometimes the best way.

 

[Jitterbug]

Don't be Captain Save-a-Bro.

 

[zekko]

Well he has a point, I suppose. Why should he listen to you when he wants a relationship and you're not a relationship type of guy?

 

[scrouds]

I have a friend like that. Leave him be.

 

[typical]

Well he has a point, I suppose. Why should he listen to you when he wants a relationship and you're not a relationship type of guy?

Well for starters he's the younger brother of one of my best highschool mates, and secondly he's doing what every stupid guy does, finds the first reasonable looking chick that gave her number to him and he's gone all ga ga goo goo on her.

But as others have said its better to let people learn the hard way

BTW I never said I'm not a relationship type of guy I'm just busy looking for the right type of girl that fits into my lifestyle.

 

[zekko]

BTW I never said I'm not a relationship type of guy I'm just busy looking for the right type of girl that fits into my lifestyle.

Oh, well you said you were the single guy who dates lots of girls, I didn't know you were looking. At your age, I figured you were still sowing your wild oats.

Anyway, I didn't mean that your advice wasn't good. I was just saying that from his perspective he probably thinks you're a player so he doubts your advice. He doesn't realize that the skills needed actually cross over a fair bit.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Life teaches its own lessons -- let the guy live and love -- in some ways maybe we all have the right to that first lovey-dovey-crush even if it is destined to die. It is part of the whole exploration of women and dynamics of sexes thing.

When I first got into this forum 2 years ago I started spouting everything I was reading and learning and trying -- most of my friends did not want to hear it, thought I was full of sh!t -- I came off as a "know-it-all" about women, when in fact I am learning just as anyone else. I am not saying whatever I was sharing wasn't true -- but people just have to choose to learn and be receptive on their own. Can't force someone to be a student if they're not willing to learn.

 

[window]

I disagree it is not so much the taking to dinner etc and flowers and all that stuff it is more the intent behind what you do. So if you are taking her there to gain approval and to get her to think more of you / impress her then sure it is wrong. But if you happen to like going to fancy restaurants and buying flowers but think nothing of it then why not ? isnt NOT doing these things still "trying"...so what is worse the guy who doesn't take her on a dinner date because he thinks he'll have a better chance of getting into her pants or the guy who really doesnt care if he does or not and takes her on a first date to an expensive restaurant.

 

[zekko]

I disagree it is not so much the taking to dinner etc and flowers and all that stuff it is more the intent behind what you do. So if you are taking her there to gain approval and to get her to think more of you / impress her then sure it is wrong. But if you happen to like going to fancy restaurants and buying flowers but think nothing of it then why not ? isnt NOT doing these things still "trying".

Great point. It's not really what you do, it's the mindset behind it.

I remember when I first starting reading this forum, and I kept hearing don't take a girl out to eat. The first thing I thought was that if we're out, and I'm hungry, we're getting some food.