Not-So-Brief History
I'd like to go over my dating history as it may set the tone and provide some insight to anyone truly interested in how things panned out thus far.
I wasn't a very attractive kid in the sense that I was goofy, extremely skinny (genetically), and aside from my face there wasn't much else there. It was around my junior year of high school that things turned for the better. I got my braces off, I went to Cancun that summer (good tan and I actually flirted with a girl there), I lifted weights for the first time, and although I had no idea what I was doing I somehow managed to pack on a good 20lbs of weight - probably because I was so underweight that it was the only thing that could happen. Puberty must have helped too. Anyway, that year I was getting more attention from girls, but still couldn't get one. I just wasn't a very confident person. I always hung out with the "losers" in high school. You know the mixed crowd of geeks who always sat at their own small table and talked about video games? Hell, I wasn't even a real geek. The incredibly smart ones didn't even want me in their group; they were too smart.
That summer I joined pre-season of Cross Country and met a freshman (I was now a senior) who would become my first girlfriend. It lasted most of the school year with a lot of on-off near the end. It was everything a first relationship is stereotyped as: inexperienced puppy love. But it was complicated beyond the typical complications of high school. Her parents didn't approve. We only went on 1 date outside of school. We didn't have any classes together so we always had to find times to sneak off in various places of school to "get it on". We never even had sex. That whole summer after graduation I was devastated. I thought I really loved that girl. I don't need to into details because I think a lot of us have been in that first relationship and the first breakup which always hurts the worst.
Anyway, I met a couple girls online a few months later and went on several dates here and there. Nothing went anywhere. Still no sex. This is where my "meeting girls online" deal kicked in. It became exclusive. Even after starting college I couldn't, for the life of me, get a girl from class. I tried too hard. I was "weird" (well, I did rollerblade to class lol).
Around January of 2003 I started dating another girl I met online. She lived an hour away in the middle of nowhere and talk about two completely different people. It lasted for a couple months. We made out, still no sex. Then we split up.
About a month after that I found yet another girl online. She lived closer. I really fell for her. I drew her a picture of us from a photograph we took together on her birthday. It's funny because even after all these years (where we don't even talk anymore), she still mentioned that she keeps it and will for the rest of her life. I've never done anything like that for anyone else. She was also the one who took my virginity, in a completely random way (carpet floor of her parent's house while her older sister was out at some store .. tisk tisk shouldn't have left us alone!). We had chemistry from day 1. But I was still extremely AFC and it didn't last. She lost interest and after 2 months it was over.
About a month or so later I met another girl - online (sigh). By this point I had already worked out for several months so I was in decent shape. Although I was still only 150lbs at 5'10", I felt like a million bucks. For me, it was a big accomplishment. She was very open to having sex and even wanted to hook up the first night after we all got to drinking (this is also around when I started my drinking behaviors). Get this, I actually turned her down because I felt bad at the time for taking advantage of a drunk girl. No matter, her IL was through the roof and it was the next day that I hit it. Unfortunately, she was an emotional wreck after a very rocky LTR and I was the rebound. It lasted 3 weeks. We saw each other at parties and such on and off for years to come and she even wanted me to get on her (as she explicitly mentioned later) on several occassions .. while she was engaged to her bf. I'm friends with him and although I think he's a cool dude, he's an AFC for still keeping her around after she cheated on him - more than once. I guess they're getting married now. It boggles me.
Anyway, after that I hit a dry spell for a few months. Around the beginning of 2004 I met my longest LTR to date - a girl with whom I stayed for 1 year. We ended up moving in together, mainly due to timing. She got kicked out of her house, I wanted out of my house (couldn't stand parents anymore), and I had a coop job that paid enough to make it happen. The whole thing was a mess. She couldn't hold a job, I lost a ton of money, I got her out of debt because at the time I loved her, we would spend tons of time doing nothing but watching tv and drinking while I played videogames, and how did it end? After 1 year she came up with an elaborate, although heavily flawed, plan to go cheat on me with some dude in Canada. Well, I found out and that was that. Maybe me turning down sex just so I could finish an instance of WoW had something to do with it? Yea, pathetic I know.
Right after that I explored my first rebound. It was one of the hottest girls I've dated. We both played this whole innocent Christian bit and it built up unbelievable sexual tension. She told me she was a virgin and that I took hers. I'm still not convinced about it, but whatever. We dated for about 3 months. I was AFC. She tried to help me, telling me that she "needed a chase". If I had only known prize mentality at the time. She ended up cheating on me with a guy who, coincidentally, knocked her up and now she's a single mommy - who still calls me so we can "talk". I probably sound like an ass for saying this, but it made me feel good. Needless to say I don't talk to her.
The following year I met another girl online. This was pathetic. She was a virgin, we dated for 5 months, and never even had sex. Oral yes (which is probably the only thing that kept me going), real no. It actually got her really horny when near the end I told her I was done "putting up with her sh!t". She wanted to get back together but after being completely disrespected in the way that I was there was just no way. I will never forget the day when we were talking and I asked her "so you think I'm a bad person because I've slept with several girls and you're a virgin?" to which her reply was "yes". I was floored.
After that I dated for about a year. I still met girls online. I did start going to friend's parties (again girls I met or had dated before were these "friends") and got a couple ONS. One was a FUG. I regret that one. Actually it happened with another FUG as well a bit later. I have NO idea what I was thinking. I want to vomit just remembering the experience. Another ONS was at one of the same parties with a girl that wasn't completely hideous, but certainly not one I'd want to date. I don't feel completely terrible about her and my game with her was actually BRILLIANT.
It was one of my high DJ moments - or maybe I was just hot and whatever I did didn't matter. I met her briefly once at the party as I was heading out and she just got there. I gave her a hug with a "I don't give handshakes I give hugs" line. But then again it was the perfect social proofing moment. She was in a room with people who all knew me and were all like "hi muscleman I haven't see you in forever!". It was perfect. I left after that with no intention of seeing her again. At a later party a few weeks later she happened to be there. I talked to her a couple times, nothing big. I was seriously lifting at this point in time so I brought a tilapia dinner with me (while drinking beer lol) and was told to eat outside on the porch because it smelled fishy. So I'm out there by myself and guess who comes to join me? After I finish (we're sitting in the same larger chair at this point .. I just sat down next to her) I ask her if she wants a breath mint and immediately start making out. Then we go inside and I don't really talk to her the rest of the night. I really wanted to get laid with one of the more attractive girls. When all else failed and everyone got in their beds/couches, it just ended up with her on a bed by herself. So I undressed and got in bed with her and immediately she goes "I was wondering where you went". You can guess the rest.
Anyway, killing the inner AFC is insanely difficult. Near the end of last year I went on multiple dates with several girls. 1 of them I bagged then lost interest in for reasons I still can't explain (stupid me .. she was hot with natural DDs), 1 of them played TOO hard to get (wouldn't even let me kiss close), 1 of them I qualified myself with a bit much. This last one I hung out with several times and our first night together we made out. I could have bagged her on date #2. I had all the buying signs. Breasts exposed, all that. Even gave her an almost entirely naked oil rub. Then I chickened out. A couple more dates after that and I called it quits. Apparently she's still interested though, even to this day and still wanted to "go out for drinks to catch up". Not sure if I'll pursue it.
