"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Msn

Matt Rogers

Master Don Juan
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I occasionally meet girls via the net so start off chatting to them on MSN before arranging a meeting.

But after we've met and Im dating Im confused what to do about the MSN thing. Im usually not doing anything a couple of evenings a week and spend a couple of hours online those days and like to chat to friends and things. Usually I block the various girls Im dating as I know it is generally a good thing to limit contact between dates. But occasionally so they don't get too suspicious I occasionally log on for brief intervals and chat briefly.

One thing that confuses me is when you log on do you seem like a jerk if you don't say hello to them? Often I just ignore them and wait for them to say hello to me. Usually they do in which case I get a useful sign that they are interested but sometimes they do not in which case I end up looking rather stupid or worse they ask me why I don't wanna talk to them in which case I have to make up an excuse.

Im beginning to think maybe it is best just to block girls period on msn messenger except if you wanna ask them out, as it can sometimes work better than phone as you do not have to mess about with answering machines.

How do you other DJs use MSN messneger and other instant messenger programs when dating a girl?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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CrunchyNut

Don Juan
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Dec 3, 2006
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Ive stopped using it over the last couple of years, partly because I have been way too busy to, and partly because it isnt a particularly good way of conversing. Sure, smilies help get across emotions, but it is nothing like the real thing. Even talking on the phone is way better. How do you meet girls off the net originally? Try giving them your Facebook or Myspace instead to set up dates, as this way once you have got the first date you can start talking over the phone, and you never have to give out your MSN at all.
 

realsmoothie

Master Don Juan
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Funny, I was just thinking about this. MSN has become increasingly problematic for me as there are some five or six girls I've either "seen" or wanted to see on my MSN list. So I'm constantly being distracted by them popping up all the time... "oh, is she going to message me now? what does she want" and so on.

I just started seeing someone.... and am determined to tell her that she CAN'T be on my MSN because that would be overkill. Now, this girl is pretty cool and not one of those clingy things... but some others I can see DEFINITELY being a problem.
 

Faca

Banned
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I used to think the same with girls i was seeing. For me it comes down, that the messenger is just a tool for communication.. Sometimes i do use it for dates, but i try to stick to the phone.

The girls you're seeing, or are interested in you can be a sort of overkill.. wanted all the time to talk. Just figure out why they want to talk.. and when you're busy honestly say that.

Anyway, those things can be good.. to help improve you're game.. but what you say on the instant messenger must be congruent with how you interact with them in the real life. Anyway, they're on my list or they're off.. i dont block them .. just say that i cannot talk right now.

- faca
 

Lust

Master Don Juan
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Jan 6, 2007
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I don't give many of the girls i approach my MSN, nor do i ask for it.

Most of the time, it's strictly numbers.

I have a habit of signing in and leaving it there when i go off and do something else, my mates tell me that it's fvcking annoying to them, so to some chick i met a few days ago, it's probably worse.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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suavesuave

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
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293
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I have just removed msn on my pc. I think I have given a big step to better my life. If I can do it, you can do it too.
 
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