MSN: "15 Smooth Lines"

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Originally posted by
MSN:

Smooth lines for any situation
By Maggie Kim

We've all been there: Tongue-tied, flustered and at a complete loss for the right words, whether it's on a first date or after a minor relationship indiscretion. If you're wishing you knew the right thing to say, read on. We've gathered the collective wit from some of the world's greatest thinkers to get you out of—or into—all sorts of compromising positions. Deploy them as needed.

Dating dilemma #1: You need to say something smart at a museum
"It's not what you see that is art—art is the gap." —Marcel Duchamp

Dating dilemma #2: You're out with a very well-read person
"I've given up on reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself." —Oscar Wilde

Dating dilemma #3: You want to stop talking and start kissing
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." —Ingrid Bergman

Dating dilemma #4: You'd really rather not share your feelings
"All the great pleasures in life are silent." —George Clemenceau

Dating dilemma #5: You're not ready to commit
"Let there be spaces in [our] togetherness." —Kahlil Gibran

Dating dilemma #6: You're trying to sway someone to be naughty
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." —Katharine Hepburn

Dating dilemma #7: It really is all your fault
"I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best." —Walt Whitman

Dating dilemma #8: You've been caught in a big, fat lie
"There are no facts, only interpretations." —Friedrich Nietzsche

Dating dilemma #9: You don't want to accompany your date to a family get-together
"Absence is one of the most useful ingredients of family life, and to dose it rightly is an art like any other." —Freya Stark

Dating dilemma #10: You want to watch the big game tonight instead of Judging Amy
"The spirit, the will to win and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." —Vince Lombardi

Dating dilemma #11: You're at a restaurant where the service sucks
"What is the test of good manners? Being able to bear patiently with bad ones." —Solomon Ibn Gabirol

Dating dilemma #12: You're putting the moves on a platonic friend
"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures." —Kahlil Gibran

Dating dilemma #13: You're stumped for conversation during a walk through the park
"The earth laughs in flowers." —e.e. cummings

Dating dilemma #14: Annoying friends and relatives keep asking when you'll get married
"The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing—and then they marry him." —Cher

Dating dilemma #15: You're caught checking out someone other than your date
"The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing." —Publilius Syrus

Maggie Kim is a rock musician and writer in NYC. Her favorite aphorisms can be found at www.MaggieKim.com.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Sorry, but those lines suck

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Haha some of those are absolutely hilarous :crackup:

I don't think he meant you should "use" those lines, they're just pretty funny for describing situations in dating.

Favourite one is:

Dating dilemma #8: You've been caught in a big, fat lie
"There are no facts, only interpretations." —Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[dyce]

hahah, some of em are pretty funny

yea i dont think it was intended for use, but rather as a joke

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by MikeS
"I've given up on reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself." —Oscar Wilde

If you want to learn to be witty, *definitely* read Oscar Wilde. The guy was about 100 years ahead of his time. Nice mix of cynicism, humor, self-importance, and self-deprecration:

- A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

- A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

- Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

- Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

 

[[o_0]]

lame lines. i dont recommend using them

 

[Boner da Stoner]

**** o_0 write a 100 page thesis on the art of DJ than come back.

Better yet, tape it.

That way I could sell it as the greatest comedy prank of all time, you'll be the laughing stock of the masses!
----------------------------------------------------------------

lines are lame, we all know that. It's the basis and the mind-sets that flow with the lines that are all revealing to us 'regular' folk.

Have you ever met a real guru?

A man who could say one sentence and your mind would be blown away for the rest of the day? Doubt you ever have, but to do so you'd have to be able to show him exactly what you need without knowing yourself and translating it into a single incomprehensible question.

That's where quotes come from. Now go back and read each quote, and realize the view point it is from, realize there is more to a sentence than the sequence of the words.

"a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters could concievably write the entire works of shakespeare" The only problem is the guesswork is gone, since you know it was unplanned.

A wise man knows the words to speak that will influence whom will listen.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So what does a guy say if the woman asks him to explain what he means?

 

[Boner da Stoner]

What does a guy say?

Unless his mouth is full of crap and she can stand the smell she shouldn't call his bull**** and stump him.

The man tells her what he means.

edited to say: you should know that (senior troll you are not?)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Boner da Stoner
What does a guy say?

Unless his mouth is full of crap and she can stand the smell she shouldn't call his bull**** and stump him.

The man tells her what he means.

edited to say: you should know that (senior troll you are not?)

A man wouldn't need to use the words of another to say what he means.

edited to say: Learn your lessons before you attempt to teach.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

lol reread my post over again, you got the wrong vibe

I couldn't be bothered to even use the same words my boss tells me to when he hawks over my shoulder let alone take a quote from a website.

What I was saying was they were excellent quotes, learn from them

 

[Tkman]

wtf are those lines ?

 

[[o_0]]

lam3

 

[avrilishot]

if you say those in front of hot chicks they will think your retarded.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

LMAO TOO FUNNY :crackup:

 

[Vibe]

Dude, these are some great quotes. But maybe that's just 'cause I'm into this stuff.

Anyway - any cool chick would appreciate these lines. In fact - if she doesn't, I don't think I'd waste my time dating her.



"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste."
-Marchel Duchamp

"People to whom nothing has ever happened cannot understand the unimportance of events."
-T. S. Eliot


And here's a quote by Man Ray that every DJ-wannabe should take to heart.

"Of course, there will always be those who look only at technique, who ask 'how', while others of a more curious nature will ask 'why'. Personally, I have always preferred inspiration to information."
-Man Ray


~Vibe~

 

[Sophomakhos]

It's not every day that you see someone call Publilius Syrus retarded... Or Oscar Wilde for that matter. They're not very appropriate perhaps for your average girl off the street, but if you're with an intelligent girl who doesn't speak like a 'gangsta' but instead speaks the 'dope' or even the 'bomb' (yo, word ma homies - sorry, I just love to make fun of this peculiarly American style of speech, no offence intended), then she could probably appreciate some of them. In the right circumstances, that is.

 

[[o_0]]

i can give you some sms phrases if you want so. if you dont know how to show love to girl just use them.
1. 'there is night and there is day. but we are here toghether all the time'
2. 'flowers are red, thrrees are green, water is blue, and we are together here!'
3. 'when im with you i feel love like a dog'
4. 'when im with you i dont need umberella even if cathrina comes' [its good if your ex was named like that, situational joke,. girl luv that stuff!]
5. 'human lives to love and be loved, if hes not loved.. why shoul he live my cutiepie'
6. 'if you know who sent sms, then you get a kiss on the neck, if you guess and get right answer, you know its me and you will get good life and love all the time'
pzzzzzz

 

[Jimbo2k]

Ban the spammer