"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mrartial Arts

lynx

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take any class you like

Ultimately, what's important is how you use the martial art you learn. I think it's what you bring to it that's most important-- your attitude and enthusiasm. If you like the martial art, you'll really get a lot out of it. And, please, stop thinking you can fight more than one guy at a time. Movies are one thing, the streets are another. In a martial arts school, there are rules, but the streets have no rules. Take a martial art to build up confidence, improve your physique, and to build character, but don't expect to become Jet Li or Bruce Lee and start beating up bad guys. If anything, avoid street or bar fights. Crazy guys don't care if you have an 8th-degree black belt or if you're Mike Tyson. They'll just use a gun.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Caesar20

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with my 60 kg i have quite good experience how it is like to defend yourself from a couple of guys (even one) who try to give you hard time on like a bus or in the pub.
i have no intentions whatsoever of doing that.
 

Soshyopathe

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Listen, Lynx. Martial Arts isn't about going around fighting bad guys. It's about being the most lethal guy in the room, but being harmless at the same time. You get wise, and you stop looking for fights. The more deadly you are, the more peaceful you become, because you are truly free.

And yes, you can fight off more than one opponent. My sensei defeated 3 of his own blackbelts with swords, blindfolded and barefisted for his 7th degree test. Many arts have special moves for taking 2, 3, even 4 people simultaneously. Hapkido is pretty big on that in fact.
 

BMW

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hehe. Everytime there is a martial arts thread, everyone suddenly becomes an expert.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Cremasta

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If you are going to go to the gym and build yourself up first with the intention of going into a martial art later, you can prepare yourself for it by doing the following:
1. Work on your flexibility, I don't just mean being able to do the splits, but keep a full range of motion for all your joints especially your shoulders and hips/waist.
2. Try Power building exercises, move the weights quickly on the concentric phase of the lift and then move slowly on the eccentric. E.g. When doing the bench press, push the weight up as quickly as you can and let it back down slowly to your chest. This builds up your speed. Make sure you have been doing at least 6 months of 'normal' weights first to get your technique right or you'll just injure yourself.

Find a halfway decent gym instructor with proper qualifications, they should be able to sort a decent programme for you.
 

coin

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Do yall favor Wing Shun Kung Fu, Shotokan karate, Kenpo karate or aikido?

My favorite is kendo, but that is completely useless in a fight.
 

lynx

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kendo is good

Coin: Kendo is great. I take foil fencing (European fencing), and I might take kendo in the future. If you enjoy kendo, stick with it. It doesn't matter if it's useless for self-defense nowadays. What matters is that you're building up your character and body.
 
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Concerning swords or what you call them... anyone knows something about Iaido? My university is offering it as well as Kendo so I'm curious and eventually want to try it out
 

Soshyopathe

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Originally posted by coin
Do yall favor Wing Shun Kung Fu, Shotokan karate, Kenpo karate or aikido?
What kind of Aikido? There are dozens of Aikido styles. One form of aikido is bow and arrow.

Shotokan or kempo would probably be the most street-effective styles, although it all depends on you and your sensei. I'm a big fan of all of those.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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lynx

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Iaido

If I recall correctly from my readings, iaido is the art of sheathing and unsheathing the katana (the samurai sword). It comes from iai-jutsu, just as judo comes from jujutsu. In other words, iaido is a watered-down form of iai-jutsu. Kendo, on the other hand, is a watered-down (or sport) version of kenjutsu, the art of swordsmanship. I suggest you visit both classes at your college and decide which class you like. Have fun.
 
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coin

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Kendo and Iaido are both awesome.

Kendo is fencing. It's not meant for self-defense and is purely a competitive sport. You wear armor during matches and use a bamboo sword.

Iaido, on the other hand, still uses a real sword. The only thing you do in Iaido is practice drawing the sword from the sheath and striking with it in a single move. To my knowledge you never face off against another human in Iaido (because someone would probably die, as you always use live swords).


As for aikido, I don't really know anything about it. It seems like a good style to learn for self-defense though.
 
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