Mr Charisma's approach journal

[Mr Charisma]

Hello one and all.

I should preface this by pointing out that this is not my first time on the DJ forums as I was here about two years ago however while I have made improvements in my life since then, I still feel I need to improve a lot more when it comes to women which is why I have decided to start this approach journal.

I've been inspired by Wayne 'Juggler' Elise's recent Seduction School TV programme to start making things happen in my life instead of sitting around waiting for them.

I've recently made a conscious effort to talk to girls and I need somewhere to document my progress. Advice and feedback is welcome. As I'm returning to college soon it's a good time to get comfortable meeting people.

My goals are as follows:

- Regulate my messed up sleeping patterns

- Strike up conversations with strangers

- Lose the weight I picked up over the summer

- Get a job

- Get a new wardrobe

- Make more female friends (my target is 5)

- Go on dates

- Get laid

- Get a relationship

I hope to add to this list in future. So with that being said I'll mention the approaches I've made recently:

Approach #1

This happened on my way to an exam I had to repeat. I got off at the right bus stop but didn't know where the hell I was supposed to go. There were three female students who got off at the stop so I decided to ask one of them for assistance:

Me: Hi, are you going to the repeat exams?
HB7: Yes, unfortunately.
Me: It's my first exam so I don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go.
HB7: Well you can tag along with me.

We ended up having a conversation that lasted hours as we were taking the same exam. I surprised myself how well I did in the conversation and I had her laughing hysterically at one point with this exchange:

Me: Can we go to the toilet during these exams?
HB7: I'm not sure actually.
Me: I don't usually need to go during exams though.
HB7: Yeah, me neither.
(pause)
Me: I've no idea why I told you that.

After she started laughing she was really open with me and I thought there was an IOI as she handed me some of her study aids and said, "here you go my love".

After the exams I got her number but found out she had a boyfriend later. This didn't really bother me as I'm interested in getting some female friends in my life as currently I don't have any proper ones.

Following the last exam which occurred about a week ago she told me her boyfriend had broken up with her. She's moving up to Dublin soon to live on the college campus (currently she lives miles away) and when I told her we should have a celebratory drink if we pass our exams (which please God I will) she said I was welcome to visit her at her dorm as well.

I'm not quite in the friend zone yet with this girl although if I end up there I won't be too bothered. It's too early to say though.

Approach #2

This wasn't exactly an approach, more a case of us bumping into each other. I was making my way in for another exam when I got off at the wrong bus stop (d'oh) but strangely I ran into a girl (HB7) that I had met the day before who was a friend of a guy I know. She gave me a lift in to the exam and we chatted for about 30 minutes in her car as we did some last minute study. This girl has a boyfriend too but since I'm looking to have more women in my life I feel I can make a new friend in her. Nothing notable in our conversation except maybe this:

(she finishes chatting to her bf on the phone)
HB7: That was my boyfriend. He calls to make sure I get there safely which is a bit sad. Then again I did offer you a lift and I hardly even know you!
Me: Yeah, I didn't know I was so trustworthy.

I've discovered that I can do really well in conversations but I'm eager to meet girls who don't have boyfriends who I can give a SOI to.

That will be my aim for Saturday when I hope to go out with mates to watch Ireland hopefully beat the Germans in the football.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Mr Charisma]

Been a while since I updated this as I've just returned to college. Luckily this gives me the opportunity to talk to loads of attractive girls but my approach anxiety is a lot tougher than I had anticipated. I finally got my act together on Wednesday and started approaching girls but no decent conversations resulted from any of them.

Approach #3

The first one of the day happened in a lecture that I had turned up late for. I sat next to a blonde girl that was fairly attractive and it seemed like she had been mirroring me throughout the lecture. When I leaned in, she mimicked me and when I sat back she did the same. I decided to say something:

Me: Hi did the lecturer give us any handouts earlier?
HB7: No he said we can get the stuff online.
Me: Oh OK. Did I miss much earlier on?
HB7: (smiling) No not really.
Me: Oh OK.

Looking back on my approach, I didn't smile at all and must have come across as quite serious. Also I notice my questions were closed rather than open-ended.

Approach #4

While waiting for some toast at lunch, there was a HB6 waiting also.

Me: Takes long enough doesn't it? (smiling)
HB6: It does, yeah. (smiling, then walks off with her food)

Couldn't think of anything else to follow up with. I guess I could have tried to sit with her but I mainly talked to her for the practice.

Approach #5

This was probably the only decent approach I made all day. I needed to find a particular room so I sat down and tried to gather my surroundings. An attractive girl, I'd say a HB8, sat down beside me so I figured I'd use my dilemma as a conversational opener:

Me: Sorry do you know where _____ is?
HB8: I don't really no. I think it's around that way (pointing).
Me: Oh, have you been there before yourself?
HB8: What?
Me: (repeating the question)
HB8: No but I'm pretty sure it's around there.

She seemed helpful enough but I was pretty nervous and my voice was coming across quiet and weak. Again, looking back on things I was too serious and a smile wouldn't have gone amiss on my part.

Approach #6

When the previous girl left I decided to use the same opener on a 2-set that were beside me. Neither were particularly attractive to me so it was more for the practice and to make me feel better:

Me: Sorry (touching her arm slightly) do you know where ____ is?
HB6: I don't sorry. I don't know this building very well. (She turns to her friend who likewise doesn't know) If you talk to the help desk they'll tell you where you need to go.
Me: OK thanks.

Again, I didn't smile and I must come across as very serious and intense which is not what I need to be. After my approach on the 2-set I was getting some decent eye contact by a cute HB8 which at the time made me pretty self-conscious but in hindsight it was perhaps a positive thing rather than a negative.

There were plenty of other opportunities to talk to girls that I could have taken but I guess I should be optimistic rather than cynical about the day. Areas I need to work on:

- My ability to engage target in conversation through open-ended questions.
- Maintain good eye contact and posture and ignore negative thoughts.
- Smile instead of being intense and serious

I'm finding it quite hard to smile around people as over here in Ireland everyone tends to walk around with a serious expression on their faces. I guess I need to work on it.

If anyone has any tips on being able to get over a reluctance to smile in public feel free to impart your wisdom.

I shall try and get some more approaches in on Thursday. Feedback is welcome.

 

[Mr Charisma]

Just back from college where I got two approaches done. I decided to try and smile today instead of walking around with my usual serious face. I definitely felt a lot better and felt more confident as a result.

Approach #7

This was outside one of my lectures. The girl was about a HB6 and turned out to be American.

Me: Hey is this the lecture for ____?
HB6: Yeah I think so. That's what I'm here for anyway. (said cheerfully)

As we walked into the lecture hall I decided to sit near her but not beside her so there was a seat between us...

Me: In the last lecture did we get given a handout? (I used this line yesterday too)
HB6: (She searches her refil pad) No we just have to check online.

She seemed quite friendly and open to conversation but I wasn't really interested so I said nothing beyond that.

Approach #8

As the lecture was about to begin a good looking girl, HB8, sat beside me. During the lecture I couldn't speak to her however I did feel there was some slight mirroring taking place on her part. I decided to open her at the end of the lecture by commenting on how fast the lecturer moves along. As she was packing her bag I almost chickened out but I decided to go for it:

Me: He flies along doesn't he?
HB8: What?
Me: The lecturer - he flies along.
HB8: (smiling) Yeah. So have you finished your enrollment yet?
Me: Yeah, have you?
HB8: Not exactly. I'm also not sure if I have a tutorial this week or not.
Me: I don't think they start until a few weeks.
HB8: I have a sheet that says they start this week though. (smiling)
Me: Really? I can't help you with that then. (smiling)

It was a fun and friendly interaction and I took the fact that she was willing to engage in conversation with me as an IOI. I'm pretty sure I met this girl in college about 2 years ago so if I meet her again there will be a chance to talk about that and possibly an option to #close. I came out of the convo feeling good and feeling like I was able to approach anybody.

Unfortunately on my way home I didn't run into any girls that were my age so I made no further approaches. I'm feeling better about myself though and I'm gradually pushing myself out of my shell so hopefully I will continue to improve.

My aim is to reach the top of the Don Juan ladder. Right now I'm on the first rung but I intend to keep climbing.

 

[Mr Charisma]

Got one decent approach done today. I started my day by chatting to some old lady at the bus stop. Obviously this wasn't an approach or anything but it's worthy of a mention as I'm socialising a lot more than I used to. The girl I did approach today was a HB7 and I met her outside a lecture that we were both late for...

Approach#9

Me: Is the lecture in there?
HB7: Yeah but it's been moved to another building.
Me: Seriously? (I check for myself) Oh great.
HB7: I'm after sprinting to get in here.
Me: Yeah same here. I don't know where that building is do you?
HB7: Yeah I had a lecture there before.
(We get moving to the place)
Me: You can lead the way!
HB7: (laughs) You were in one of my tutorials last year weren't you?
Me: Was I?
HB7: Yeah for ___.
Me: Oh right. I always turned up late for that one.
HB7: Yeah I remember you. (I was pleased she remembered me. IOI maybe?)
Me: That tutor didn't like me very much. I still ended up passing pretty comfortably enough though.

We struggled to find the right room and got a bit lost and from there it was tough trying to make conversation with the two of us in a rush. I managed to find out where she was from but it would've been better if I'd actually asked her for her name. (D'oh)

When we got to the lecture it was 15 minutes in and was pretty packed so I couldn't sit with her. At the end I had to talk to the lecturer too so I couldn't speak to her afterwards. Still, I think there's scope for a future conversation between us and maybe this time I'll be smart enough to find out her name!

Another thing I'll point out is that when I was waiting for my bus I ran into a guy that was in my tutorial 2 years ago. Normally I wouldn't have done anything but I decided to go over and say hello which led to a fun conversation as he's a cool guy. Again it's all part of me trying to get more comfortable in social situations.

Considering my closest friend from college was out sick for the last 3 days, I think I did pretty well with regards to my socialising. Next week there is the chance to join clubs and societies so my aim is to stay positive, keep talking to people and take up a few interesting hobbies/sports.

 

[krasnyiLion]

first let me tell you, GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!

you have some ballzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!


but now on to what you need to do. I noticed you have a light, fun conversation, but it is all in friendship and fun.
you need to start turning those convos into flirting,
example.

you approach a female and start talking about exam, class, major, or when i place is.

" i don't know i think the cafeteria is to the right"
you go "ok" and walk off

you could have turn around and asked her, looking at her with desire in your eyes "think in your mind, you are so beutiful......then think to yourself i (i like this tip from another dj) you dont know what you have coming to you, you will end up in the tip of my c0ck" (it'll make you smile)

what is your name?"
or you know................you have sexy lips.
or something like
"did i just catch you looking at my ass?" (sometimes they get nervous with C+F so direct, but it's all about delivery, sometimes they laugh and joke back)

something, start actually hitting on her (seriously, start flirting with her)

then go for the number. use kino if she is recptive, you can judge the situation.

 

[SamePendo]

I like what I'm reading...I have images of you being a natural conversationalist...you seem to be putting the targets at ease...and I'm particularly impressed with your being conscious of socializing with the males...

Keep up the good work, Bro.

Agreed.

Haven't seen an actual close though, why?

 

[cyp6]

how were you with girls in hs?
should be the same right?
i started to get really good with them about jr year..
college seems be even eaiser... you will probly have lots opertunities, have fun rock on.

 

[Mr Charisma]

but now on to what you need to do. I noticed you have a light, fun conversation, but it is all in friendship and fun.
you need to start turning those convos into flirting

Yeah I'm having trouble escalating things.

Agreed.

Haven't seen an actual close though, why?

I haven't been able to achieve significant rapport. I did with the first girl I wrote about on this journal but I had been talking with her for hours.

how were you with girls in hs?

I went to an all guys school. Not ideal for sarges.

Since I last wrote in this journal I've done OK. At the weekend I just chilled out but I made some approaches yesterday and today.

Yesterday

Monday didn't start well for me. I ended up waking up late as I had stayed up Sunday night to watch WWE Unforgiven. As a result I missed my first 2 lectures. Interestingly I've been getting a few texts from my Approach#1 who I shall call HBtext. She texted me to say that she hadn't seen me around and was wondering where I had been. I had the chance to meet up with her during one of my lectures but because I was late I missed that chance. There will probably be another chance though with HBtext assuming I sort out my punctuality. I only got one approach done on Monday which wasn't exactly brilliant. It was while I was waiting for my bus. There were a lot of people waiting. I saw a HB6 beside me so figured I'd use a situational opener:

Approach#10

Me: It's going to be tough to get on this bus.
HB6: Yeah.

She seemed a bit surprised I'd said anything. At the time I figured if she wanted to converse with me then she should have said something back to me but looking back on things I guess I could have been a bit more persistent. I mainly just did it for practice as I wasn't attracted to her.

On another note I had a tutorial yesterday which turned out to be 8 guys and no girls (just my luck!) but I made myself talk to these 2 guys and they seemed pretty cool. I mention this as I'm keen to continue expanding my social circle.

Today

Tuesday was a lot of fun for me. I socialised way more than normal and felt great as a result. I ended up approaching girls pretty comfortably and extended my social circle once more. This time last year I felt quite alone but I don't feel that way this year. I ended up nearly missing my morning lecture again as I stayed up late last night to watch Monday Night Raw. (I need to cut down on wrestling!) Coming out of the lecture I met the guy I befriended on Friday and spoke with him for a minute. Then I met my friend but since we were in different rooms we parted ways. I ended up sitting next to a girl (HB7) and in front of another girl (HB8) but I didn't say anything to either. It wasn't that I was afraid, I just didn't have motivation at that time. I was glad to get out of that lecture as I was by myself during it but on my way to the next lecture I got my act together.

There had been a mix-up with the rooms so the entire class were sent to a different room - which didn't appear to be the right room either - and we were all left standing around, unsure of where we were supposed to be. I saw a HB6.5 near me so I figured I'd use the situation to break the ice...

Approach#11

Me: So how did you find this place then? (smiling)
HB6.5: Aw I just followed everyone down here (smiles back)
Me: Yeah same here.

At this point she seemed to spot someone she knew so I didn't further the conversation. Then I ended up being faced with a situation that I might have mishandled a year or even a few months ago.

I saw a girl who I had spoken to on a few occasions last year who was from my tutorial. She was with a male friend of hers. She's a definite HB9. Amidst the confusion of what room we were supposed to be in she ended up asking me if I was here for the same lecture she was. I was. I was pretty disappointed though that she didn't seem to remember or acknowledge me, especially since we had waited for the bus together on a few occasions. I got the impression I was being blown off by her. I wanted to go up to her and ask her if she remembered me but I felt that would have sounded lame, particularly with the guy beside her.

She did however remain quite close to me while all this was going on and she ended up asking me something (I can't remember what). I was still a bit uneasy about this guy's presence though but remembering information I've read which stated that you should befriend the Alpha Male of any set you approach as a way of getting in with everybody, it dawned on me that I needed to stop stressing over this girl and instead try and have a good conversation with her friend. You might say I approached the both of them.

Approach#12

This was just basic chit-chat so it's difficult to write about it in detail much. It was mainly myself and the guy talking. Luckily he turned out to be really cool and easy to talk with. It was just fluff talk mainly. 'What subjects you doing', 'do you have any more lectures after this' etc. Occasionally I brought HB9 into the conversation by asking her some stuff but I'd say 70% of my questions were towards her friend.

Eventually our lecturer arrived and we headed into the room. I led the way as the guy had to make a call. I found a seat and was wondering whether HB9 and her friend would join me. Sure enough she did sit beside me. 'Better late than never' I remarked to her as we finally got into the right room.

After the lecture I was concerned that I had not gotten the guy's name. I was going to ask him it during the lecture but there was no opportunity. I figured we'd all end up going our separate ways since HB9 and the guy decided they were going for a smoke outside but to my surprise the guy asked me to join them. I said OK - 'I'll go out for some passive smoking'. This got a laugh.

Outside I had a decent coversation but I found myself getting very self-conscious. So much so that I couldn't relax. I probably said one witty thing during the exchange which was a bit of a shame. I was very self-conscious about my smile strangely enough so instead of just concentrating on having a laugh, instead I was concentrating on how I was laughing. Not good. I don't think they were aware of it though and I feel I came across as a cool enough guy, just someone fairly quiet which is not how I like being perceived. While outside, I finally got the guy's name and we shook hands. I remembered HB9's name but I acted like I wasn't sure about it. She didn't do that for my name so I guess she remembered me after all, contrary to my earlier fears. I had to leave to get food and they were heading home so we all departed after about a 10/15 min conversation. I was pleased with the whole situation even though I feel I need to relax more around others.

Surprisingly I ran into my friend when I went to get my food which was cool as I was able to socialise further. I'm comfortable around friends so I was way more funny and witty than before. We had a good laugh about stuff and departed after about 45 minutes. During our conversation I saw a 3-set of HB8s and one of them was giving me pretty heavy eye contact. I guess social proof really is an advantage.

I decided to take out a book from the library before I went home and due to feeling a confidence high from earlier, I made another approach. It was with a HB8 who was looking in the same section I was...

Approach #13

Me: Are you doing ____ as well?
HB8: Yeah.
Me: Third year?
HB8: Yeah. I'm just after getting out of a tutorial and I didn't have a clue so I'm getting a few books.
Me: Really? I had a tutorial yesterday and it was mainly just an introduction.
HB8: Nah I had some female tutor and she made us work throughout it.
Me: Really? Wow.
HB8: Yeah everyone else seemed to know what she was on about except me so I'm just going to read as much as I can now!

At this point I couldn't think of anything to say and there was a pause. She picked a book out and then wished me luck in my search. I told her the same.

Analysing this approach I feel it could have gone better if I had managed to ask her a few more open-ended questions. It's odd because in the past my trouble used to be opening girls but yet I was pretty good at continuing conversations. Nowadays though it's the other way around - I'm opening alright but I'm struggling when it comes to keeping the conversation going.

I still feel I'm improving though but more work is needed. Tomorrow is a really long day for me in college but the bright side of that is that there should be good opportunities for approaching girls. I have noticed that I'm recognising a lot of people in halls these days due to my efforts so I need to keep putting myself out there.

My goal is to get good rapport from a conversation which can lead to a #close. That is my aim now. On Wednesday I also hope to join a few clubs and/or societies.

 

[Mr Charisma]

Time for another report. Wednesday turned out to be a damp squib as I slept late and missed all my lectures. I even missed one this morning too. I seriously need to sort out my sleeping habits. I didn't approach much at the start of today, I guess because I wasn't in state.

I listened to some music though which got me into a good frame of mind and I ended up approaching a HB6 today while waiting outside my lecture. She didn't have a great body as far as I was concerned but she had a cute face. I thought I recognised her from a tutorial I was in last year but that proved to be a mistake on my part as you'll find out...

Approach#14

Me: Hey is this the lecture for ____?
HB6: It is yeah.
Me: Were you at the lecture that took place earlier in the week?
HB6: Which one was that?
Me: The early morning one?
HB6: Oh no I missed that one. (laughing)
Me: Yeah same here. (laughing) Hey weren't you in my tutorial last year? For ____?
HB6: Uh no, I wasn't in that one.
Me: Oh.
(Awkward pause)
Me: So are you going to join any clubs or societies?
HB6: Nah not this year.
Me: I did fencing last year briefly but I gave it up.
HB6: Oh cool.

She then started to text a friend of hers and so I made my way into the lecture room by myself. Then these two guys decided to sit next to me meaning talking to other girls was out of the question.

I felt embarrassed that I mistook the girl for someone else. It's probably the dumbest thing I've done since I started socialising with strangers but I laughed it off and me and my friend joked about it later when I told him what happened.

I think I need to remember to keep the focus of conversations on the girls I'm talking to and to ask them questions that begin with 'What, How, Why' etc. I don't seem to be doing that enough.

Later on I went to the building where the clubs and societies had their stands. A blonde girl, HB6, asked me to join the tennis club. She was the only person who tried to convince me to join something so I figured I'd check out the stand. I noticed a gorgeous brunette who was a member standing to my right sucking a lollipop (no rude thoughts please ) and I figured I'd take the opportunity to talk to her...

Approach#15

Me: Hey um are those the tennis times up there (points).
HB9: Yeah are you thinking of joining?
Me: Well I'm thinking about it but I don't have much tennis experience. Would that count against me?
HB9: Oh no! There's going to be loads of people there who are beginners and there's coaching available.
Me: OK, I just wouldn't want to be left there on my own not knowing what to do.
HB9: Well you'll be paired up with people and it's a great way of making friends. I've made lots of friends here so...
Me: Have you been playing tennis long?
HB9: For the last 3 years yeah. I'm a 3rd year.
Me: And how did you find it when you first started?
HB9: Well, I'd been playing before college so...
Me: Oh right.
HB9: Yeah and I'm on the team as well. What year are you in?
Me: I'm a 3rd year too.
HB9: Oh cool! Getting ready for your finals?
Me: Yeah (laughing). I just figured I might as well try some new things in case it's my last chance.
HB9: Yeah well it's only €10 for free access all year so it's a pretty good deal.

I'd been meaning to do something physically active and the HB9 had won me over. None of the other stands caught my eye except for a pool/snooker club but no one was there at it. There's a chance to join clubs and societies again in January but I imagine I'll be knee-deep in books by then.

My conversation with HB9 was a lot better than my earlier one. Asking open-ended questions seemed to work. Unfortunately some guy who was a tennis club member came over and ****blocked me and started talking to her when we were getting into the interaction. Ah well I'm still learning.

One thing I've noticed is that I'm only approaching girls when the situation is there for it. At bus stops, in queues, outside lectures etc. so I still feel as if my life is being determined by fate and chance instead of my own action.

I need to pick out a girl I find attractive and sit down and talk to her. I also think I need to set myself a daily quota of girls to talk to. I'm going to give myself a target of 5 girls daily. This should hopefully improve my social skills a good bit. I also need to smile more.

Got to keep going...

 

[Analytic]

you are doing absolutely amazing man, i'll be keeping a close eye on this while am on my journal too. Keep it up!

 

[Mr Charisma]

Just got in from college so time for another report. I got a good night's sleep last night for the first time in a while but I still suspected I'd miss my college lecture. Luckily I made it in on time. It was lashing rain on my way to my bus stop and some a*shole bus driver drove into a puddle near me and sent a huge wave on top of me. It was like a scene from a comedy or something. Thankfully I had my hood on otherwise my hair would have been soaked and my chances at approaching would have suffered a good bit.

My first approach happened on my way into college. I didn't know where the room was so I followed this girl I knew was in my course. It turned out that this girl was Approach#13 but at the time I didn't know as I'm not good at remembering faces.

Approach#16

Me: Are you on your way to Prof ____'s class?
HB8: Yeah I think it's up here. (smiling)
(She didn't seem to know where the room was either though)
Me: Have you not been here before?
HB8: What do you mean?
Me: Where you not here last week?
HB8: No but I was here Tuesday.
Me: Well this is the room here.

As we went in I took a seat beside some girl. There was one available beside me but HB8 didn't sit next to me. This girl did seem pretty comfortable around me though which is probably because we chatted briefly a few days ago. If I see her again I'll try and get a longer conversation.

My next approach of course was with the girl I had sat beside. She had a nice body although I didn't find her particularly cute or anything. It was a pretty odd interaction as at times we seemed to click and yet at other times I seemed to distance myself from her...

Approach#17

Me: This is the lecture for ____ isn't it?
HB7: It is yeah. (smiling)

At this point I took a swig of my water and didn't further the interaction. Then a guy sat beside me that I knew from a tutorial last year. I decided to make small talk with him after a few seconds of all three of us sitting there silently. It was just chit-chat basically. My attention returned to HB7 and I noticed she had doodled what looked to be an eye on her page.

Me: You shouldn't be doodling. (smiling)
HB7: Haha yeah. I'm just so bored.

I was surprised I had done this as I wouldn't have had the balls to do so as little as a week ago. It shows I'm having more fun with social interactions.

I turned back to the guy beside me then and asked him if he had made his tutorial for this week. He said he had and when he asked if I had, I told him I had missed mine. Then the HB7 sort of laughed out loud. Very noticeably! I ignored her and asked the guy what happened at the tutorial which he told me. Then HB7 opened me:

HB7: So what was talked about at the tutorial this week?
Me: Why did you not go either? (smiling)
HB7: No (laughs).
Me: Apparently the tutor didn't talk about much, just went over stuff we've done in lectures.
HB7: Oh right. (still smiling)
Me: I'm glad I'm not the only one who missed a tutorial!

At this point the lecturer arrived so I couldn't talk further. The HB7 was really sitting close to me during the lecture and seemed to be giving a definite IOI. I decided to keep cool. Occasionally I caught her glancing at me but my eyes remained on the lecturer. At the end of the lecture the lecturer said that if anyone was supposed to have attended a tutorial but had missed one, "that's that."

I turned to HB7 and said, "Well that's that." She laughed at this (a bit too much if you ask me which again seemed like an IOI). The lecturer did look over though when I said this so I hope I haven't got on his bad side!

At the end of the lecture I walked out in front but I didn't turn back to continue a conversation with HB7. Looking back on things I feel I should have.

All in all it was a pretty OK day and an OK week in general. I still need to improve massively but I feel I'm getting there. I set myself a target of 5 appraoches daily but since I had only 1 lecture today that was going to prove difficult. I'll do better on Monday, God willing. With regards to my weekend, hopefully I'll get the opportunity to go out with my friends and then I can initiate my night game. I intend to go shopping and improve my wardrobe which is one of my top goals right now.

Got to keep going.

 

[Analytic]

Hey that last 2 approuch doent count, stop cheating dude. Just wondering.. you don't have a number of approuches goal?

 

[Bvbidd]

I wouldn't say the last two were approaches.. but even when I was just starting out.. I'd flirt a lot, and check em out.. and you'd think they think it would be creepy (some did), but I'd get away with it with most and they'd like you more for it. As long as it's not YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL, or you start feeling up her ass or something (even this you can get away with after awhile).

You should try having this interest or purpose for your conversations, because by now these chicks probally know what your doing and it's looking kinda funny to them.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

nice to see a new journal, ill read it sommore when i get some free time and drop some feedback

Hey man good stuff. I noticed a trend where you always ask a question which can be a really good thing, but the thing is your questions all involve school, like lectures, classes, etc. I think you are pidgeonholing yourself by stickin to such a mundane topic. Or how about this, you go in with a school related question and then swtich the topic up to something more upbeat and personal

 

[Mr Charisma]

Hey I appreciate the feedback. It has been taken on board. I had a good interaction today with a HB7 and got her email. Sort of looked like Lindsay Lohan to me. This girl turned out to be American and was really friendly and sweet. She was 18. A two year age gap doesn't bother me but considering she's returning to America soon it can hardly come to much. She did ask me to write to her though and I said I would.

I took Bvbidd's advice on board and decided to crank up my flirting during the interaction. It ended up proving effective. The girl was minding her own business when I approached her.

Approach#18

Me: Hi how are you?
HB7: Hi. I'm good. How are you?
Me: I'm not too bad. Where are you from?
HB7: I'm from the US.
(Due to how she was presented I noticed she was a Pogues fan)
Me: Oh you like The Pogues?
HB7: Yeah I love them. Do you?
Me: Well I don't dislike them or anything. Fairytale of New York is my favourite Christmas song.
HB7: Mine too!

From here the conversation went really well and I found out we both had a passion for reading, writing and that our courses in college were quite different. I even pulled out some ****y & funny at one stage...

HB7: I've always wanted to visit Ireland.
Me: Where you from in America?
HB7: California.
Me: Hmm I don't think you'd like the weather too much over here. (smiling)
HB7: Actually I love the rain. (She said something about how she enjoyed rain as a kid)
Me: Really? Cool. I like girls who enjoy getting wet. (smiling)
HB7: Haha. Aren't you clever? (smiling)
Me: Well I try.

We must have chatted for about 2 hours at least. It flew by. She told me she felt she really clicked with me and I said it was a shame she didn't live over here. Looking back on things there was no kino but the conversation was so easy and flowing that it didn't seem a big deal.

She had to go so she ended up writing down her email address for me. I only ended up getting her name at this point too weirdly enough. I complimented her on it...

Me: A lovely name for a lovely girl.
HB7: Thanks. How do you know if I'm lovely or not though?
Me: I'm a good judge of character (smiling). It's been a pleasure getting to know you HB7. You're a top girl.
HB7: Aw thanks so much. Well I'm a pretty good judge of character too and I'd have to say the same for you.
Me: So when would you like me to contact you?
HB7: Oh whenever you feel like it.
Me: Cool.
HB7: Haha or if you decide after this I'm a total freak you don't have to.
Me: Nah as freaks go you're alright. (smiling)
HB7: Crap I gotta go now (I also ended up asking her if she needed to go now so we said it in unison. We both laughed.) It was cool talking to you. Hopefully I'll hear from you later.
Me: Yeah ditto. I'll write to you.

She left at that and I felt quite good. It's sort of bittersweet though as nothing tangible can come from it if I'm being realistic but I guess I should acknowledge it for what it was - good practice at socialising.

I had another approach later on which is quite long and won't fit in this post...

 

[Mr Charisma]

Approach#19

This is pretty long so I've had to write it in a separate post. This woman was a 30 year old from the south-west of Ireland. My approach was like my earlier one - "Hi how are you". This conversation was pretty good at times but I don't recall flirting too much early on. There was a funny moment when I asked what she did and she showed me some writing that I thought said 'bus' so I figured she was a bus driver. Later in the conversation she asked me about not going on holidays and I said...

Me: Well it's alright for you as you can just get in your bus and drive wherever you want to Cliff Richard-style.
HB7: Haha...um, what? I'm not sure what you mean?
Me: Oh is your bus for mysteries instead? Do you travel around it like Scooby Doo? (smiling)
HB7: (laughing) Um I'm not sure what you're talking about?
Me: Aren't you a bus driver? Didn't you show me writing that said you owned your own bus?
(She takes it out and shows me a closer look)
HB7: No it says I own my own business - that's not 'bus' it's 'bus.'.

We both ended up laughing at this and I was genuinely embarrassed. I think it helped put us both at ease. Later I learned she was going out with her bf for 10 years.

Me: 10 years? That's longer than a lot of marriages!
HB7: Yeah.
Me: So when's the wedding?
HB7: Not for a while yet...
Me: Why not? You've been going out so long...
HB7: Well he bought me the ring and all but...I'm just not sure.
Me: Oh so you are engaged then?
HB7: Officially, yes.
Me: So why the hold-up?
HB7: Well I've been having some doubts...

Would you believe it but at this point the phone rings and I then have to apologise to her afterwards. She didn't mind but by this stage the conversation had moved from her engagement to other mundane stuff. One weird thing I was told was about some guy who had hit on her by asking her about her teeth. A little later she had to deal with a call and she left so the conversation ended rather abruptly.

Opportunity missed...or so I thought but I ran into her a few hours later. Night game this time! I remember this better than the earlier convo.

Me: Hello there.
HB7: Hi. You again. Sorry 'bout earlier.
Me: No problem. You don't seem happy to see me.
HB7: Sorry I come across that way all the time. 'You again' that doesn't sound good does it? (smiling)
Me: No. (laughing)
HB7: Sorry.
Me: I'm not the teeth guy. You know that right?
HB7: Yes! You are the student studying in 3rd year.
Me: Good. You were paying attention. I'm impressed!
HB7: I was!
Me: So what have you been up to since we last talked?
HB7: Nothing really.
Me: Did ya miss me?
HB7: Sure. You miss me?
Me: What do you think?
HB7: What?
Me: I was asking whether you thought I'd missed you (smiling)
HB7: Sorry slow off the mark tonight. Bud kicking in I think. Sure ya did.
Me: Maybe just a little.
HB7: Aww just a little?
Me: ... (smiling) So you were telling me earlier about your engagement. You feel you're having doubts?
HB7: Yes. Not so sure...might be happier elsewhere maybe. Don't know. (possible IOI here)
Me: Must be a good guy though if you put up with him for 10 years.
HB7: Yeah he's good...OK.
Me: What do you feel you're missing out on may I ask?
HB7: Hmm where to start...conversation, passion, intelligence, affection. Things like that.
Me: Well you certainly deserve things like that. Have you talked to friends about your concerns?
HB7: Not really.. just got engaged. Meant to be all loved up.
Me: You can't help the way you feel though. Have you ever taken a break from your fiancé?
HB7: No. Will soon though I think.
Me: Really? How do you feel when you think of doing that?
HB7: Well I'm thinking about going to London for a weekend soon and thinking if I like it... to move ..mad huh?!
Me: Mad alright. That would be a big step wouldn't it?
HB7: Huge. Don't have a clue about London. But I'd like a huge change I think.
Me: You know where is better though? Here in Dublin!
HB7: (laughs) Feeling a bit old though. Thirty should be settling down I think.
Me: Don't leave the country ya dope! (laughing)
HB7: I'd like to be in a big city for a while. Meet different people.
Me: People like me you mean? (winking)
HB7: (laughs) You know for a 21 year old you are cool (I lied about my age)
Me: Uh thanks...I think.
HB7: (laughs) I think you're OK. OK good I mean.
Me: You're good too...for an oul' one
HB7: (laughs) Old? Ha.
Me: Would you ever date a younger guy then?

At this point she was called by someone and left abruptly. She returned about 10 minutes later saying she'd been to the toilet.

HB7: Hi sorry I should have told you where I was going. Toilet there.
Me: Did you fall in?
HB7: Yeah! You're funny.
Me: For a 21 year old right?
HB7: Yep!
Me: (sighing)
HB7: You sure you're 21? You seem very mature?
Me: I'm 21 alright. Unless my parents have been lying to me all these years.
HB7: (laughs) Well about dating a younger man, probably depends on the person doesn't it?
Me: Absolutely. You're not ageist then?
HB7: Jeez no. Anyway ageist is usually reserved for old people.
Me: People like you ya mean? (smiling)
HB7: Maybe! Hope not!
Me: Nah 30 is still young. You sure you're 30? You sound immature.
HB7: (laughing)
Me: So do you see yourself as a bit of a looker?
HB7: Dunno really. Do you?
Me: My mother tells me I am...joke.
HB7: At least someone does. You're very funny you know.
Me: Thanks so are you.
HB7: Thanks.
Me: You think you and I would hit it off?
HB7: Who knows. Probably. I like a guy with a good sense of humour anyway.
Me: Well I also have conversation, passion, intelligence and affection (I made sure to note what she'd told me earlier) Just so you know.
HB7: Your mother tell you that too? (laughing)
Me: No...my dad actually.
HB7: You pay everyone else then?
Me: Course not I'm a natural. Actually do you even know my name?
HB7: No. What is it?
(I tell her my name which sounds similar to her name)
Me: With our names we make a good team. We could fight crime.
HB7: Haha, yeah.
Me: If only we had a bus!
HB7: (laughing)
Me: But if you go to London that plan is out the window.
HB7: Yeah maybe. Want to come to London with me? (I'd no idea how serious she was being so I kept things light-hearted)
Me: Sure if you have the money.
HB7: Well the house is worth half a mill if I sell it.
Me: And I have about €100.
HB7: Sure we could get a few buds anyway. Have one good night.
Me: I like your style. Drinks on you eh?
HB7: Well I was thinking the 100 would cover that.
Me: I was thinking the 100 would go towards our own hotel room. (This was my best line of the evening and I could tell she was impressed by it)
HB7: OK.
Me: Sounds like a plan.
HB7: Yep.
Me: Will I have to pay for breakfast or will you take care of that for me?
HB7: I'll take care of ya babe not to worry. (Babe? Definite IOI)
Me: Glad to hear it babe. (smiling) So what are your plans for the future then?
HB7: Wow that's a big question. I couldn't tell ya my plans for tomorrow (laughing)
Me: And I'm supposed to trust you to take care of me? (laughing)
HB7: You're the man! You're the boss OK!
Me: What are we talking about now? (smiling)
HB7: Well you were saying about me not leading the way I suppose...but leave that up to you. You're the boss.
Me: Where else can I lead?
HB7: Everywhere and anywhere.
Me: I like the sound of that. I wonder though if you could keep up with my...demands.
HB7: And what demands would they be?
Me: I'll leave that to your imagination babe.
HB7: Just the way I like it. In the imagination. (I didn't know if this was LMR or not. Chick logic kicking in or something. I ignored it.)
Me: What else do you like?
HB7: What do you mean?
Me: What do you like to imagine?
HB7: Well I like to imagine a lot of things really. Can't say...too naughty.
Me: I like naughty.

A pause kicked in during the conversation and I was then presented with a sh*t test. She was called away again by some guy and was gone a short while. I asked her if she fell in the loo again and she responded by asking if I had? Huh? Then I say...

Me: I didn't fall in the loo, I nearly fell asleep waiting for ya though.
HB7: You waiting on me really?
Me: You sound surprised. We've talked for hours. All evening.
HB7: You sound like a horny young boy don't you? (Bit f*cking harsh eh?)
Me: Damn did it get cold in here? F*cking hell.
HB7: How you mean getting cold?
Me: As in your comment was quite nasty.
HB7: Which one? (she then acted like she was confused I had taken offence and asked me to repeat what had been said)

She then brought up that she'd had a couple of beers and put it down to that. She did seem pretty tipsy alright and then started talking to me about Big Brother and young people vs old people. Hmm. I then asked her what she did in her life when she was 21. We then ended up getting into a slight argument where she called me a perv and I asked her how many drinks she'd had before recommending her to have a coffee next time.

From there things did go downhill. She definitely had her b*tch shield up and there was an argument about her not giving me her email when we had said we'd exchange emails and when she had been given mine. I lost my cool quite often here which she seemed to get off on. At one point I turned to her and told her to piss off but this made her hang around me even more. She was being a total b*tch.

In the end I told her I was leaving. She persisted in talking to me and acting rude. I grew tired of the childish back and forth argument so I told her I was having the last word on this. I told her she should stop being so rude and treat others with respect. Then I walked away. She shouted something to me which I didn't quite catch.

An eventful evening no doubt! Got to keep going...

 

[Mr Charisma]

Monday

Didn't get any approaches done today. Found myself rushing to get to my lectures and the ones I did make were total sausage-fests. Didn't see any girls that caught my eye after that.

I did meet a guy I knew from school on the way home and got talking to him. A sexy blonde sat beside me but I kept my attention on the guy. If he wasn't there I might have opened her up but throughout most of the day I wasn't in state. The fact I only got about 4 hours sleep may have been a factor.

Also I got an email from the American girl from the weekend and she sent a picture of herself. She's OK looking, about a HB6, but with us being on different continents I don't see anything happening.

My day wasn't a complete waste however. The girl I met at the start of this approach journal - Approach#1 - well seeing as I have her number I decided to text her since I haven't seen or heard from her in a while. She suggested that we meet up tomorrow for a drink which I agreed to.

I will try and get some approaches early tomorrow and obviously report on how the drink went with the girl. I'm not sure if this is a date or not. We don't usually have 'dates' here in Ireland. Usually you just ask someone out for a drink so I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm very close to being put in the friend zone with this girl. I guess tomorrow will determine what, if anything, will happen.

If I'm relaxed and have a few pints in me I think I'll be OK. I'll try and get some kino in, smile a lot and tease her. I've been reading a lot of Juggler's techniques so I'll try and apply them.

Gotta keep going.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Good Lord...Where did those last two approaches come from. They were light years ahead of the previous 17. Banter was off the chain man. Congrats. I love having conversations like that and you really seemed relaxed in them. I dont know how you managed to remember all of that but who cares, lol.

As for the woman bailing durin the last second, I've had it happen to me with every older woman I've met and hit it off with in a bar.It sucks, cuz when its goin well it feels like you have it in the bag.

I have thought about this issue a lot because it seems like such a waste to really connect with the older women and then lose it all. The only thing I can really come up with is to isolate her so that she can stay in state and you dont have to worry about her getting distracted or wondering what her friends will think. Doing it when she seems the most attracted seems like a plan, maybe you (and myself) have overdone the banter and just need to get her caught up in what she is feeling and make an attempt at something more physical. How was your kino throughout the interaction?

But yea man, Good Sh!t :rockon:

 

[Mr Charisma]

Tuesday

Thanks for the feedback. Guess I should report on my day. My bad punctuality kicked in again and I missed my morning lectures. I nearly missed the drink with the girl too but I made it after all. It actually turned out that she was late herself. She ended up tapping me on the arm to let me know she'd arrived and we headed in to the bar...

HB7: I've decided to buy you the first drink after all. (In the texts I told her she owed me a drink)
Me: Thanks. I'll get us some seats.

The old AFC me would have insisted I get the drinks but I figured what the hell. Let her pay first! From here it was basic chit chat but I should come clean and admit I was VERY nervous. I think it was due to not knowing what to expect. Also I had not eaten much during the morning but suddenly found myself very hungry. The drink I asked for is not a drink I'm crazy about so I really didn't feel good at all. A horrible drink on an empty stomach will do that to you I guess. I excused myself immediately to go to the bathroom. There, I calmed myself down and reminded myself that I was there to have fun. This ended up working and when I came back we got into basic fluff talk. I used kino on her at one stage by lightly brushing her on the arm. Then this bombshell came:

HB7: I'll just text my friend. I invited some friends of mine.

My response? Nonchalant. Acted like it didn't phase me. I even turned my head like I was anxious he wouldn't get lost.

Her friend did turn up and he was gay in fact so that made matters less complex. He had brought two girls with him. One of them stayed barely a minute but the other blonde - HB7 - hung around. I took the effort to shake all their hands. A little while later another guy turned up. He wasn't gay but he wasn't an Alpha either. They all seemed nice.

I was aware that the social dynamic was not what I had anticipated it to be and that I'd have to handle it well. I was eager to give attention to her friends and not get into a situation where I was left mainly talking to her. Still, it was difficult as they brought up moments from their own experiences so I pretty much had to listen a lot. I did push myself though to contribute as best I could. The beer helped too.

So, I engaged in chit-chat with all of them. The blonde HB7, the guy's friend, was really shy and seemed to be excluded more than me so I made the effort of talking to her and giving her some attention which I think impressed the guys as well as my target.

Getting back to my target, she did seem to be leaning in close to me quite a bit. I busted on her quite a lot throughout. I also convinced her to have another drink. This time I paid. She asked me what clubs I'd joined and told me to join a club she had joined. She also suggested I go back to her dorm later on with her friend and suggested I go out with her friends for drinks again.

All in all I think I did well here. From here, blonde HB7 and the non gay guy left so it was the 3 of us. My target HB7 then again asked me to go back with her friend to her dorm. I said yes in a nonchalant way so much so that she told me I didn't have to if I didn't feel like it.

We did all go back and it was easier on the way for me to be funny and witty as the bar had been very loud and I had difficulty hearing people and being heard. Outside however I was pretty funny and had both laughing. We got to the dorm and ran into one of her roommates - a HB8 - but I didn't interact with her much. At this point I stayed on the couch with the guy while my target and HB8 talked behind me and I then heard this bombshell:

My target's ex had texted her asking to get back with her.

They laugh that this was done by text. I laugh along. Again I act nonchalant occasionally glancing at HB7 to see how she's reacting. She seems flattered by this and at this stage I'm pretty confused but remain pleasant and cool. About an hour later the guy, her friend, goes to leave. I say goodbye and we agree to talk again. He's actually a decent guy and I think he appreciated me listening and speaking to him. I'm eager to make new friends and feel I might have made some today. I made it clear that I was going to go too after the guy did as I was conscious not to overstay my welcome but instead leave things positive. 'Less is more' and all that. Besides they were preparing to make dinner and I didn't want to put them out.

I said my goodbyes (making sure to address HB8 by her name) and HB7 asks me to text her if I'm free tomorrow. Wednesday is a crap day for me as I've so many lectures so I dunno if I'll spend time with her tomorrow but I said OK and wished her luck with her studies. On a side note, the behaviour of HB7 in her dorm was interesting and not similar to how she was in the bar. She was definitely quieter in the dorm. That didn't improve either when she got the text from the ex. I imagine she has stuff on her mind now. Her and this ex have a long history and she's only now experiencing single life.

About an hour and a half later, when I got home and had pretty much just stepped through the door, HB7 texts me telling me that she was watching some cool spectacle outside her dorm. I texted back saying that she should stop trying to make me jealous as it wouldn't work. I got no response to that tongue-in-cheek message.

The old AFC me would worry about whether or not she had taken the comment seriously. Instead I'm gonna watch a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode and get some sleep.

It was an interesting day and a day where I was forced to come out of my shell. Part of me (the cynical AFC part) is trying to find fault with the day but I'm reminding myself to see the positives. The main positive is that me, the supposedly shy guy with few friends, 'the loner blah, blah, blah' managed to contribute well to a conversation of 5 and that I met many people and perhaps made one or two decent friends.

As I've yet to get the chance to spend some private time with HB7, I'm not sure where I stand. Particularly with her ex sniffing around now. I badly need some female friends in my life though so ending up in the friend zone with her does not really disappoint me greatly.

With regards to my approaches, Wayne 'Juggler' Elise advises beginners such as myself to focus on 3 approaches a day so that's what I'll aim for tomorrow. I'm conscious of the danger of developing Oneitis for this HB7 and so I'd feel better if I got a few numbers and got to hang out with some other girls to keep me sharp and confident.

Gotta keep going.

 

[Mr Charisma]

Been a while since I've updated this. Some things to report. I have found myself approaching women although only when the circumstances feel right. Approach anxiety is still there but its grip on me is not as strong as it once was. I'll highlight approaches I made yesterday since I can't recall all the ones prior to that...

Approach #20

I was sitting at the bus stop near this hot woman who seemed in her thirties. Some time went by but I looked better than usual so I decided to open:

Me: Have you been waiting here long?
HB7: No I just arrived literally moments before you did.
Me: Oh right. This bus takes ages to come.
HB7: Does it? I've not been on this bus for so long. In about ten years.
Me: Oh right.

Looking back on things she had given me a good conversation topic as I could have asked her about the last ten years but alas I didn't pick up on it. There was some more fluff talk but the bus came soon after. She didn't sit beside me so it was an opportunity missed.

Mistakes made - worrying too much about what to say rather than just letting the conversation flow. Also not introducing myself to her.

I've also learned that you need to be a bit persistent at first when you approach a woman in order to get her to open up.

Approach #21

I was in the library and spotted a cute girl even though she was a bit big. She made eye contact with me and I with her. She ended up leaving the section she was in and was literally standing right beside me. I figured this was a definite sign of interest but was a bit scared to open. Finally I went for it and said:

"There's not many books left right now is there?"

The thing is she seemed shocked I'd said anything and could only offer a polite smile. Then I just remarked, "I can't find the book I need." I was a bit confused by the exchange as I felt she could have at least spoken to me! Maybe she was just really shy though...

Online...

The real bit of news for me to tell though is in relation to my online game. I have been emailing back and forth with the sexiest blonde MILF you have ever seen from Quebec. This woman is 37 with a daughter who is 17 (I'm 20) yet this woman has fallen for me big time. (My online game is aeons ahead of what it is in reality as I can utilise PUA knowledge without pressure).

Here's the thing - even though she is coming to Ireland in July of next year with her family, I have managed to convince her to come in a few months instead just by herself. All that is required is for me to send my pic (I actually haven't got one to upload yet) but when I do, it looks like a meeting is on. I described what I would like to do with her when she comes and this was her response:

i loved to read what you would do to me.... hahahaha sound so good to me... sound humm so tempting.... so if we get there then i am all yes for that night.... its a rendez-vous....

And this is her thoughts on coming over:

Yes if i go there before july it will be only for you... so as much time as you want... ill be there just for you.... all my time will be just for you... as when ill be going in july it will be with the kids so not as free as i will be if i go just for you so its up to you to be with me whenenver you want too... so that is hopefully clear to you that ill be yours for those days....

Naturally this has me very excited but I'm remembering to keep cool. I don't think I can tell my friends about this as they would find it weird I'm sure and I'm obviously not telling my family. This woman has shown me a picture of herself at the company she works for as well as a photo of her and her daughter on holiday so I know she is legit.

So then this is an option for me quite possibly depending on how things go. I must say I find older women very sexy indeed!

That's all for now. Gota keep going...