"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Moving to a foreign city...hate sarging alone

L

Leporello

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In about 2 months I'll be moving to Budapest, Hungary - the city where my family came from before the moved to America over 100 years ago. I have a job waiting and plenty of money but don't speak a word of magyar and i don't know a soul in hungary.

Thing is, I'm totally useless when I'm just at a bar or whatever by myself. I need the social support net to make me feel like less of a loner creep.

at the same time it is a little bit off to ask some people you barely know 'hey, let's go pick up chicks'.

advice
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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S

Soprano

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It's definitely tough moving to a new city, I feel your pain. but **** it man I'd say go solo its a great time to strengthen that part of your game, until you make some friends and get one of them to go with you.
 
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Allurre

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Get to learn the language first. It will always serve you better if you get your communication game tight.

Don't worry about not having a wing, you should embrace the fun sarging alone. No need to be dependent of others.
 
L

Leporello

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Allurre said:
Get to learn the language first. It will always serve you better if you get your communication game tight.

Don't worry about not having a wing, you should embrace the fun sarging alone. No need to be dependent of others.
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I wish. Magyar is one of the most difficult European languages and I have only 2 months. i'll get some of the basics down but forget a real conversation.

Ah, easier said that done...of course it'd be nice if it were fun to sarge alone, i'm just not there yet.
 
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Leporello

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bump
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Allurre

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Perfect.

Then find a girl (with some basic English speaking experience), tell her you're new, and that you'd LIKE to learn the language.

Learn, date, fvck, as you go.
 
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LittleBigOne

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Very interesting that you are moving to Budapest on your own. First of all you should be proud on making this move!

I agree totally with you, Magyar is one of the worst languages to understand, it will take years to learn it.

You told us you will start there a new job. I think that's the point where you will start making contacts. And think about the place where you will live, there will be people too. Another option is too find people from the States (or other native English native speakers) who already live there and are used more to the language and culture.

Sarging alone is no fun WHEN you believe it's no fun. Just do it a few times and i am sure you will find people who are willing to catch up with you...it's a mather of time and patience (it took me a few months in the new place where i live but do have friends now in this town). And don't get drunk there on your own in nightlife, that's dangerous.

Keep us updated, like to know your experiences.
Good luck!
 
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