Moving in with my girlfriend

[Paradiddle]

Hey gents,

I am moving in with my girlfriend after roughly 4 years of relationship. I am excited and anxious at the same time. Can you please share your experiences? How does it look like? What are the positive and negative sides to it?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I do not have experience with this but I do not recommend at all.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hey gents,

I am moving in with my girlfriend after roughly 4 years of relationship. I am excited and anxious at the same time. Can you please share your experiences? How does it look like? What are the positive and negative sides to it?

Do you plan to have children? That is the only justifiable reason for moving in together, IMO.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Why move in together before marriage? If you want something like having children together you should consider marriage.

If that isn't your goal don't waste your time moving in together.

 

[metalwater]

What's the situation.

is it her house or your house or a rental or ????

where you live is common law marriage a thing?

do you both earn equal money and have equal wealth?

age range...?

smv estimate for you and her, are you more attractive or her?

does she have male friends?

how did you meet?

 

[Am Shaegar]

I am moving in with my girlfriend after roughly 4 years of relationship.

Don't do it. As long as a woman is just your "girlfriend" you do not have enough control over her to make the financial and social risk worth it that you are entering with this move. Remember, not only is she "just" your girlfriend, you are also "just" her boyfriend and you can be replaced as easily as a swipe on Tinder. Your 4 years of relationship mean nothing to a women if she starts "feeling" she has better options. Equally as others have pointed out if she is not caryying or caring for your children there is no point in providing her shelter. If she has an income she can pay for her own roof. If she dosn't has an income, there is a high chance she is a gold digger and there is also the fact, that she is not your social equal. This can work, if she is made aware of her position, accepts it and shows it in action. This is an easy way to test the faithfulness and character of a women, don't accept women that think themselves your equal or better despite owning less and doing less than you do. Any woman that does is only good for ****ing, but not girlfriend, wife or mother material.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why now? What has prompted cohabitation?

Do you plan to marry? If so, when & why…if not, why not?

I know several couples who have happily lived together for years, are committed but are never getting married.

So why now?

 

[RickTheToad]

@Paradiddle, nothing wrong with it as long as you are testing her to see if she's good for the long term (marriage/kids/etc.). No reason to consider marriage or kids with a female you cannot stand to live with; just have an end game in mind. Most important questions, are you moving in with her, or is she moving in to your place? Do you own or rent? Do both of you have jobs? Who earns more?

 

[samspade]

As long as you legitimately WANT to do it, and so does she, nothing else should matter. Marriage - which some are bringing up - is just a piece of paper from the government/church that says they like what you did, good job. Nothing wrong with that either (and it incentivizes raising kids) but it's not some magic threshold like some guys want it to be.

The key thing to ask yourself is whether you're doing it to placate her, or because you're honestly excited about it and want to keep going with her.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Hey gents,

I am moving in with my girlfriend after roughly 4 years of relationship. I am excited and anxious at the same time. Can you please share your experiences? How does it look like? What are the positive and negative sides to it?

Be aware that this is one of the quickest ways to suck the romance right out of a relationship.

However , If you do move in with her, be very clear with her that it should change nothing about how you live, where are you going, and what you do.

Also, keep all of your finances separate, no joint accounts. Arrange things so that if you do need to walk, it’s as painless as possible.

-Augustus-

 

[Epimanes]

As long as you feel your compatible in every way..... and your doing it for the possibility of starting a family or financial purposes..... good luck!

Compatability is a must.... if your sex life struggles now I promise it won't get better with kids..... beenderdundat and wasted 25yrs with a woman doing this and thinking it would get better.... its not a total waste tho cuz in the end I got both our kids...

Tread carefully..... pros and cons... needs and wants....

Epi

 

[jimwho]

She "MUST" be head over heels Bonkers over you. Even then, if you're moving into her place you may as well have your balls removed, it will help with the transition. And just buy a TV now so you have some control over the remote.

 

[Kotaix]

I know several couples who have happily lived together for years, are committed but are never getting married.

I'm in this boat. Neither of us is interested in marriage.
My parents are married and have been for almost 50 years now and are still very happy together. Her parents are divorced and hate each other so much that they have never spoken since they got divorced, but they gave a good upbringing despite their differences.

She "MUST" be head over heels Bonkers over you.

This is a fact. This is the only acceptable starting point because you are inevitably going to fight. If the head over heels starts to go away, you will know you have a problem.

The positive is having someone who has your back at all times, assuming things between you are great.
The negative is having to put up with each other all the time. It can get difficult and once you're living together you don't really have anywhere to go to get away from her.

maintaining frame in a live-in relationship is difficult. you must be able to compromise, but you must also be able to make a stand when boundaries are crossed and have a mature conversation on the topic.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I wouldn’t do it. Last time I tried it, things ended shortly thereafter

 

[Atom Smasher]

The odds are MASSIVELY against you if you do this. Moving in together opens up a huge can of new problems, both relationship-wise and legal/practical.

Why play at marriage? When a women moves in with you, you lose almost all of your leverage and most women know this and will take advantage of it.

If she’s good enough to live with, then she’s good enough to marry. That marriage is the thing that adds a much deeper sense of commitment to the relationship.